Spiritual Forum

Hello everyone,

I am sharing one of past life that was so signification to me in my spirit journey.  And at the same time, I sometime was dishearten when I realize that this past life I have strong connection with doesn't exist in history book as it was oppressed and wasn't even shown in history book.  I have met several people in my life who are my close friends that shared same memories I had in that specific past life.  That is why I have learned that If you want to find a truth, you have to go beyond history book.  History book is always biased as they are written by people who is victor in their places while the people who lost doesn't get a chance to write their history equally.  And at the same time, there have been time when history get oppressed, buried, forgotten into the past so that is why we can't treat history book as 'truth' when truth is out there and within us.  History book kept getting changed all the time as well.

Anyway, I am going back to my storytelling about my past life as "Lost Tree" and I will explain to you how I got nickname as lost tree later in story.  I share what I can remember so far based on what I have learned from it while I put pieces and pieces of this past life together into bigger pieces with pictures and emotions running through me (flashbacks).  I also have met one of my closest friend in this life, I will refer him as BJ (I am referring him with his higher self name without revealing his name to respect his privacy)  who I am proud to call him as my 'brother'. After we met, we had a strong connection of 'brother' feeling and found out that we have also known each other as great friend in that past life as well. (We have met many times through our past lives.) When that happened, We shared our past life experience and bought our puzzles together which lead me into remembering and finding more puzzles to that past life of mine.  Same thing happened with other few more persons later in my life.   To summary it before I starting tell the whole story, what happened was that there was many of wars, chaos everywhere. I was the leader of one of viking army and I have gone through countless battles, had alot of scars on my body, have gone toward fast eastern from Norseman land. Had a sister, she and her lover escaped from me and went so far east which caused me to hunt them down, which have ended us into unknown land which was western or northwestern (?) border of china. my life changed forever when I have arrived there, having met Chinese warrior woman, having a feeling that I have never gone through in that viking past life when my heart was filed with only violent. Changed me forever and we fell in love quickly and have bred a son whom was half viking and Chinese. Spend a life protecting temple against the invader from eastern which was either Mongols or Huns where they have never successfully invaded and conquered the temple where my viking people and Chinese people who I became new family to, have lived in and defended until the history become oppressed after the death of my life as an elder man who fought the past battle of honor.

To start sharing the story of my past life of what I could remember so far for now in that past life of 'forgotten legend of lost tree", the beginning of that life when I was child in a land of Norseman viking (I still am trying to remember which viking I was from but I do feel nostalgic with 'Norseman" though.), the childhood life were brutal, harsh. Having to survive to eat, getting beaten up all the time, being taught to stand strong with dark emotions inside. I was filled with hatred, anger, violent. The world was in chaos I could almost remember that 'feeling" I had felt and I also was a horse trainer where I grew up with a horse of my own. horse was my closest friend I had, he was large, strong breed horse, all black with black hair. Had some hair over hooves, was made for war as well. Growing through hell life of childhood to adult through the battles, invading, so many warriors have fought, alot have died and other have survived. I became the leader of the invading army, and so far what I can remember was that I had dark colored clothes behind my chain-mail, helmet. Had a light beard which was black or dark colored. Had a very large sword which was forged uniquely for me and I had a sister was very precious to me, she always travel with me but hated me very much because I would never let any male to approach her.

I have gone through so many battles where my horse and I have have our battle scars on our body and each time I defeated the great warrior that fell down to death, I would pull their armour pieces or weapon piece and attach to my armour to honor the strong warrior that showed the encourage, determination, strong wills against me. I would travel through toward the far eastern after going through lands of battles, there were a time when a man that would secretly spend time with my sister. One day I caught him, I would grab him by neck with a sword on him, warning him that if he ever, ever touch my sister, I would have taken his head and even my sister grew tired of me and would never talk with me. My heart were filled with only war, dark emotions of hatred, vengeful, violent. So one day, when my sister and her lover would escape a camp one night, since they knew that one day I would eventually kill this lover of my sister at once when I find out more about them. When I found out about them escaping a night ago, I was beyond furious! Vowed myself that I would hunt them down no matter what and find them and have my hand on the lover of my sister. So I went on hunting and with great skills of hunting, it took me toward the east, away from Europe, toward the dry, hot temperature through east. After days and days of hunting down my sister and her lover, it took me into a strange land of eastern which was foreign to me, but my mind was set on them no matter what. One day I would sit down by campfire with horse next to me, I would use a sword and place it over campfire to heat it then apply on my deep cut wound on my body, in order, to shut the cut wound on my body. I was wise with my body to never let my body bleed and my war horse would always stay with me, we had a very long history together. This horse share similar characteristic/personality with me, would only let me ride him, not anyone else. Then the day when I caught up with my sister and his lover, it was next to lake and forest. And at the same time, a single wandering monk from a temple that would wander miles from temple bumped into all of us.

This lover of sister, knowing he is no match for my highly skilled fighting skills, with my vast experience included, especially how I can withstand the pain no matter how intense it is through brutal battle and training since child age, would stand up trembling but yet would do anything to protect my sister. I was walking toward him furiously, and this monk, for a very short time, have seen what have gone on through torn heart of mine, seeing that I was concerned for my sister but was so ready to take the life of this man. This monk rushed in and stood to protect a lover of my sister. Seeing more resists made me so angry that I let my furious warrior loud roar out of my war cry which caused this small monk to fell down.

If I remember correctly, this great friend of mine, BJ (he was this monk in his past life) told me that when he saw me, he have never seen anyone so big like bear and yet who roar so loud like bear, was amazed. Anyway, when this monk got up, he got into his fighting stance, he was very willing to sacrifice his life for peace. We got into battle and each time he strikes me, it only made me more angry and I was entering into berserk with my hands and the fight lasted a very short time when I grabbed his neck, picking him up from the ground. He was grasping for air when I was holding his neck so tightly that I was ready to snap his neck. But what stopped me from snappnig his neck was how he reacted me, he doesn't show any 'fear' to me, a veteran monk who have alot of experiences in his life, willing to show me no fear. That got my curiousity because through many of battles before this, I always have seen many fears/terrored faces of many warrriors that I have defeated. So I let him down by releasing his neck, he fell down and he managed to get his breath. We would stand and staring at each other with great curiousity. He would take me to the temple, he was showing me the way but at the same time, I also kept staring at my sister and his lover, showing them that I haven't forgotten about them.

That is where my life changed forever when he lead me into temple. The interesting thing was that, when I entered temple, I looked giant to them, everyone shattered while many defender/warriors of temple would surround me and I was very ready to battle with them, but the monk stopped them and spoke to them to stand down. Spending some of time in temple was great confusion to me, seeing alot of children playing around with great peaces in the temple was something that I have never seen unlike my homeland. People training, people helping each other, and the sense of peace. I would stand, remembering all fo my time in all battles, it was the only thing I lived through, the violent, war, battles, and deaths. And at the same time, a monk who I fought and defeated earlier, would approach me and we had communication barrier. But he was determined to find a way to communicate with me because he was very interested into me. And at the same time, I also was told by BJ that, when I entered temple, there was a woman that saw me, she was one that was most curious about me. Anyway, this monk friend of mine (unfortunately I dont remember any of names in my viking past life), but I'll say "monk friend" for now), would show me his art of fighting where I would look at, and then he asked me to show him my viking style of fighting styles with both hands and sword of mine. he found the impression that my fighting was so powerful, brutal, fast, made for pure killing, but lacks of grace. I was insulted when he tried to make me me learning the grace movement where they would fight as smooth as water, I felt that my style was good enough. I was very stubborn and this monk friend of mine doesn't want any possibly violent if he kept pressuring me to do something, and that was when a beauitful warrior woman came in. She couldn't stop looking nor thinking about me, so she came in wanting to show me how she would fight. She was one of greatest fighter in the temple. Her father was master of sword fighter, he would cut any object in so short of time with great precise and speed. But what was most interesting thing is that, she was the only one who could see inside my heart fully when she saw me entering the temple unlike anyone. She and I had a connection witth us realizing it until later, as if we have known each other before. When people see me, they only see me as a dark, terror, vastly powerful warrior of dark, but yet this woman see the oppsite. She have seen what was going on with my heart when she first seen me, and she was very curious about me.

However, when she came to challenage me in a sword fighting, I would laugh at her so hard because I have never seen woman fighting in my life and I felt even more insulted when I had to fight with woman. This woman felt so offended and she realized that I think she would never fight, so she gave me a very fast strike on my right cheek, the cut so deep that it would shock me with great skills and speed when I was too busy laughing and was about to turn away from her. My right cheek would bleed for a while and I put hand on it with my suprised eye, after realizing that this woman can actually fight too. Later, we would get into sword fighting because I was so curious about her, our sword would cross each other and we actually grow bond without understanding how it happened. We became close so quickly that she was trying to show me the way of peace when I was actually afriad of it because I always only have lived through the battle/war with no peace. She would take my hand, let me to have a 'childhood' that I never had, by letting me to play around with her in some of way. Then she was teaching me her arts while I taught her my arts of sword fighting, we were sharing alot. Our teaching merged with each other and she was teaching me how to 'dance with the sword', dancing through the air. The children and people that were still afriad of me, since I always look so brutal, dangerous with bitter looking (by nature), they slowly became friend with me when they see how this warrior woman and I became close with each other. I was given name in their language "Lost tree" (I was told by BJ about that part), because I was so powerful warrior without home. The most interesting part about training with temple warrior was learning how to jump through tress, from tree to tree for speed and balance. It took me much longer to success it because I was so big, heavy, massive in viking muscle body. To them, I was giant and when I jump from tree to tree, I would snap the tree branch and fell down, crashing to ground. But I was so determined/stubborn that I got it achieved in several months. But the scene that I felt strong connected was when my war horse, and my warrior woman on her horse would be chasing each other through forest, she was trying to outrun my horse, but my horse was very strong, large, faster where my horse would outrun her horse easily. But on foot, she would outrun me so easily, it was so fun for both of us when I would try to catch on foot. But when she was running around temple where she was hard to catch, I would just sit down and wait until she pass me. When she went by me, I would grab her fast where she wouldn't escape me and then I would be very gentle with her after that.

At the same time, when I was starting to 'open' myself to people, my monk friends after my bonding time my chinese warrior woman, I would talk with my monk friend all about my past battles, especially showing him my battle scars and scars on my war horse. And about my war horse, this horse was very important to me, we both grew up together and thsi horse would never let anyone else that lacks of harden fighting spirits/personality on him. When anyone tries to get on my war horse, my horse would neigh and tell them to get back off. if they ever try to cross a line, forcing theirselve on horse, this war horse would kick them to tell them to get the heck away from him. Even my warrior woman was frustated with my war horse because my horse wouldn't let her get on either, and this horse would only let me get onand would do anything I would ask of my horse to do. This war horse and I would always have great respect for each other.

While I still was in temple, My chinese warrior woman and I fell in love with intense, strong connections between us from inside, we had our first kisses. When that happened, she would put a hand on my cheek where she used a sword to give me a cut on my cheek when I insulted her when we first met, I would put hand on it and told her that its my pride and is very proud that she gave me a scar that changed of my life forever. In fact, I was struggling the hardest when it come to changing my heart. I even would always dreams of deaths, bloods, revenges, and other because of what I have done earlier in life, this lover of mine would come to comfortable me in her way and she was the only one who showed me the 'way' of love.  Thank to her, I was able to learn how to slowly let it go, open my heart to the world.  I was turned from corrupted, torn heart powerful warrior into guardian warrior with healing heart.  My fighting styles also got merged with my viking fighting style along with chinese fighting style.  I was able to dance with the swords while using my brutal methods of bring down people when it come to protecting my people.  Each time when invader of temple from eastern would come, the mongols (or huns?) would invade. What I can remember vividly was they were on horses, they had barbaric looking on them, they were very skilled with swords, lance and archers, which looked like mongols or huns clearly. I can even felt strongly in my heart that I can remember that part and I would always stand up, used my sword to take down many of these warriors, along with my viking and chinese people. We were too strong for them, they were never able to take over the temple. And at the same time, these chinese warrior of temple would fight along with us as well.

And about my sister, I was changed that she could never believe it and I even accepted her lover as her true husband, and honored him to fight to defend temple along with us. But one night was very tragic which left great scar in my heart was one night, the surpise attack of these invader, they masscred my sister and my brother in law whom she was married to. When I found out about it, I was FURIOUS! I vowed for venge, so furious that even my warrior wife dreaded of, and then I went into the next battle against the invader where I successfully got one of their leading raiding party, cutted their head off and tossed the head into these invader party. Even after being hit by several arrows, it only sent me into true berserk because more pain I got, more angry and stronger I got. Survived these battle and went back to temple and found out that a little child of my sister and her husband survivd the surpise attack of these raiding people, I would take that child with me where my chinese warrior wife and i would take care, to honor my sister and her husband, who I proudly considered as a new member of my family.

But I can't remember right now if that child was boy or girl, so I'll say my sister's child for now. When that child grew up, I taught that child everything I know, especially about the leadership. And then when she was old enough as a grown child, I would take that child with me to far western where she would make the changes, and when I was abouto leave a temple for a while. That was when my warrior woman had greatest fear, she even tried to make me not leaving. She put a hand on my heart and asked me to promise her that I would never ever, ever return into dark side and suffer any more pains anymore. She had greatest love for me, just the same way I had for her. I told her that I must correct my wrongdoing, and that i would be back for her. She was very deep sadden when I left with that child on my trusty veteran black war horse. When I left, what I didn't realize is that she was pregancy where that would become a son of her and mine, half viking and chinese man. By time when I went to western to leave that child there and went back to temple (didnt' remember how long I was gone), but when I saw my son, he was a very little boy. I was suprised, had a tear out of my eye. MOnk friend said that he nave never ever seen me having a tear out of my eye before and I would come out of horse and came to my warrior woman and our child. It was greatest part of that past life of mine.

When he grew up with both of me and her mother, he would become strongest and fastest warrior in temple, he had great strength from me (Viking) and great speed from her mother (Chinese) and at that time when he grew into young adult person, he would be tested by my monk friend and me. Even when he was a very young adult, he defeated me so quickly that I was very proud of him. I and my warrior woman was very important to him that we had a strong bonded family and I grew a powerful family tree of viking/chinese people after that. However, when I grew very old where my sword would become heavy to me and when there comes the last battle when raiding came. I would get up and fight to the last batle of my honor, I was dancing with the sword, dancing through the air, where my sword and I would dance and work together, with my mixed viking art of fighting and chinese art of fighting style. Defeating many of warriors as I can in purely fighting spirits that lead me into natural berserk, so powerful even for elder age, and then at my end, I got had weapons being stabbed into me.  I finally fell down to ground with much bloods bleeding on ground.  Refusing to die with steer wills, I was truly hoping that my wife would come to me so I can say something to her as my last breath.  She did came to me, picking me up, having me on her arm, I smiled.  I put hand on her and I whispered the words telling her that I would meet her again in other life.  I gave her pieces of my soul from my heart through so strong expressing of love to her, she was my ancient soulmate I met her through many lives. I just knew even in my dying moments and thanked her for everything.  I told her that she was the best thing ever happened to my life, along with our son and I passed away with great pride knowing that I did something do different than before, and that was defending and protecting people, my wife and son.  That is where my life ended with happy heart.  That is where my legend of "Lost Tree" ended and it later got oppressed.

I truly hope that you all enjoy and find great lessons from this life as it have for me.

:)