Spiritual Forum

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  Marique December 9, 2012 at 6:26pm

  Yes Ina what I have to do to keep going is exactly as you said...I take the observer stance...I have to, it is the only way I can keep going, easier watching me go through all this shit and think what a crummy story and detach and step back...Glad my preordained path comment made sense...

   

  When I had my last NDE (unsuccessful dieing number 3) in July it was explained to me by a bright light for lack of any accurate description; that we each choose the people in our lives and the parts they will play, and the lessons we want to learn from there presence in our lives.  I was told I had more lessons to learn that I had wanted to, so I got sent back to my 3D body dammit....I truly believe what was imparted to me though, that is why getting all over peoples cases does not help anyone really, People need to ask themselves,WHY is this person ( who rubs me wrong or even makes my blood boil) in my life for and what is supposed to be learned from it? There have been many people in my life that have been downright abusive to me and I finally figured it out in this last NDE that I CHOSE to be abused to learn to love and value myself more....sheeze, why did I choose to have the crap kicked out of me repeatedly and verbally debased as a route to self love....I guess I am a slow learner...But learning I am.  Some of the most exasperating and aggravating people I have met have taught me the most, even the ex spouses who used to use me for a battering ram so to speak...Have taught me the most and taught me that even though they hurt me, I was still able to love and forgive as well...Just hope in the next lifetime I do not give myself such tough situations to learn from...Note to self....be a quick learner in the next incarnation, lol...Hope I remember that...but the odds are slim!
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  Marique December 9, 2012 at 2:30am

  This is a marvelous post subject, I just discovered this.  I am in a sharing mood (oh oh) so here goes..... 

  On a personal note it has been one hell of a year for me, and not in a good way I might add.  Deaths in my immediate family have been plentiful this year and I have spent the whole year trying to survive my inner pain and grief while struggling to not succumb to deep depression and sense of loss and bitter aloneness.   I myself have had one NDE when my heart stopped this year in July while on the operating table having a knee replacement due to a fall off a ladder I took in January which completely shattered my kneecap and torn all my muscles and ligaments to crap. I did not want to be revived but the hospital forgot I had a DNR so I almost but not quite got to ascend as I had prayed for and I came back bitter about being tossed back in my 3D body that was wracked with intense pain... I almost lost my roommate who I take care of as home health aide due to extreme illness this past January as well...It was a very trying time.....Also in January I got death threats which really did not help, and added to my paranoia about being alone....that really was awful....In short it has been a sucky year for me right from the start.  I was however visited by an angel while in the hospital after having surgery which was truly a miraculous experience, (I did a blog here about that experience) so maybe my demise with my knee was meant to happen and was devinely planned to restore my faith in the unseen loving beings that are here to assist us, who knows???  I have been helped by an angel when I was a child and was critically ill as well, I saw her plain as day and she wiped my tears and told me that I had to stay and that I had things to do in my life and that it was not my time to pass... I do believe in higher beings....guess I needed to get to the end of my rope again to remember I am loved and watched out for....

  I struggle each day to keep positivity alive in me and it is an uphill battle at times.  I am an extreme realist by nature and a lot of what I read that is supposedly going on behind the scenes in life, channelings, malitia groups, etc.. I simply don't believe and that seems to make me be labeled a troll, which makes me very sad. At the end of the day I just want to live and let live and I have realized that what I think about things does not really matter except to myself so I try to just stay neutral more lately here.  I have had to squelch my mother hen instinct because I realized no matter what my views were on things it does not matter, everyone will believe and think what they will.  I believe we are all on some sort of preordained chosen path that we feel we need to follow so there is no sense in trying to change someone elses path, it is ok to point out what you believe may be potholes to someone out of concern, but it does no good to try to bludgeon someone with our own truths on one side of the coin or the other, that does not serve any purpose other than to separate each other and separation is very lonely....Lonely is no fun...

  I have seen so much strife on this site this year and it saddens me, and every day the breach seems deeper and wider....so sad.  There is so much misinformation here and that alarms me too, but I have to believe that people will believe what resonates and that it does not matter what I perceive as deceptions...We each are here in this incarnation to find our own way and our own truths, and acceptance of that could take us a long way farther, and possibly we would all grow in acceptance of each other...

  As for what has been happening in the world, the bad far outweighs the good it seems or maybe I am just seeing the bad more than the good and it is depressing as hell.  I guess all we can do to make it better is to give to one another, whether it be moral support love, acceptance, financial support to those in need if we have the resources to and to just try to get along without hurting each other with words and actions....trying to get along seems to be a human's stumbling point....human egos just seem to always get in each others way.  I pray that next year humanity can get it's act together better, and here on the site  as well...

  Well there are my immediate thoughts....I know I ramble.....thanks for listening and thanks for the opportunity to share from my heart Ina...sometimes I just need to connect..
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    Super7DsMom > Marique December 9, 2012 at 7:25am

    I agree, your not alone..thanks for rambling!  :)
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      Marique > Super7DsMom December 9, 2012 at 6:04pm

      Thanks Super7DsMom, glad I did not put you to sleep or drive you away, lol...I think most everyone else ran away from the post or fell asleep after the first sentence, haha.  People here that have known me for a long time knows how wordy I get and have not mastered short and sweet.