Finally - Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. "I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it's the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others" he is told by the doorman.
Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss. So the doorman leads him to the dorm. They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants.
"See, Here is your first room mate. He has an IQ of 180!"
"Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss mathematics!"
"And here is your second room mate. His IQ is 150!"
"Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss physics!"
"And here is your third room mate. His IQ is 100!"
"That Wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theatre!"
Just then another man moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it. "I'm your last room mate and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 80."
Albert smiles back at him and says, "So, where do you think interest rates are headed?"
Finally - A successful stockbroker parked his brand-new Porsche 911 in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and tore off the door on the driver's side. The stockbroker immediately grabbed his mobile phone, dialled 999, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the stockbroker started screaming hysterically. His Porsche, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined. When the stockbroker finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can not believe how materialistic you stock brokers are," the cop said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the stockbroker. The cop replied, "Don't you know that your right arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." "My God!" screamed the stockbroker. "My Rolex!"
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Hahaha Love it!!!! My Rolex, hahahaha!