im shy to invite input but am prepared to try anything :)
im a proud independant person, i insist on thinking for myself. i dont tend to show people my upsets... theyre mine to resolve.
im really gentle though i do have frightening force available when pushed to it. never violent at all!
im really intellegent and have a strong indeed professional ability to see deeply into issues. and i am a confused fool.
heres the thing
25 years married...love her. care for her. but utterly dissatisfied.left her and fell into a new relationship which ive been in for two years now.
she( ex wife) says all this massivelynice stuff about me .
but never said or did that whilst we were together .
i spend heaps of time thinkng about the really really bad stuff and how i could have dealt with it differently. lots of drunken physical agro at me. lots of name calling and contempt ( called me predator though you may know me as hunter). i felt isolated and my isdeas were always dissented with as stupid .
and we were financially secure( excessively)im still good there but well half of great is still half! ouch( and i miss the water view) ( and my daughter has ex wife politics in here head to my detriment)
THE NEW PARTNER IS LOVELY( whoops caps but that statment did deserve them so ill leave em there )
she is smart and pretty and very sexy too. madly spiritual, loves animals too. utterly enraptured with me( thts pretty nice !)karmically connected in a good way. just delightful( with an annoying teen age daughter but i think we will see the teen through this stage in her life)
i miss home and my wife. i want to wrap her up and make it alright.but the time has past. i want my old sence of security albeit i do recall it came with a price that i felt was suffocating me.
i want to live in love with beloved nandini( thats her name) i want to grow according to the vision we share. but she is disturbed by my ongoing unfolding "past"
VERY OFFENDED IF I INTERACT WITH sHARONNE( f'ing caps sorry) sharonne txted me saying wanted to hear my voice. my heart melted, but im resistant to face the tears i will experience when and if i call her. then bloody nandini txts sharonne saying words to the effect of dont bother him. sharonne is upset and blamey of me !??!?!
but ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i cant have em both...and i dont want the carry on. and if i could squash the good bits in each together, chuck out the annoying stuff, then put the new combined woman into a house next door...not my house :) perfection ?
ahhh the complications
and i also want everybody to fuck off and leave me alone with the cats and the dogs and land in simplicity.
so what am i saying....ranting.....thanks for listening...maybe thats all i need
? relationshiips in 3d evolving to 5 d . is this what happens before the switch. i speak to both of them in their light bodies. nandini is more mindfully present there.
any stories out there that relate? any one else moved through this type of change and can tell me what it looks like on the other side ?
and any advice that seems appropriate will be appreciated..... and perhaps even acted on....though my track record for following even intelligent advice is poor :)
loved
enjoy
Replies
Hey Hunter.
Erase the financial element - would you make the same decision?
Sounds like your ex has a great appreciation for you, are you sure she's not just really lonely. Does she miss the current you? Does she know the current you?
As as observer of your brief detail above and occasionally seeing your posts over the last year - sounds like you're evolving pretty rapidly. If your ex couldn't keep up before, how could she begin to keep up with who you are now?
All is in perfection! You'll experience exactly what you need to...
Much Love!
Joshua
finance was a challenge ..still is but differently
finance and fear are poor yet common companions
so yes ..... hard to say even now ......i would leave her
i reckon she has got a big shock into a new and frankly better way of living...im not there to blame
she is lonely and sad and i feel that from afar ( and she lives in my old home a mere 3 km away)
but i cant help because im the problem for her that she has to solve. got to stop joining her pain
interesting Q does she know the current me. no . and it is different. certain compromises ie watching her get pissed with so called friends wiould not happen. but on other levels id be easier to be around. but do i want that
she is christian at heart( and found abit of jc since i left) and im animist at heart. thats never going to match well
beloved nandini is a match and mutual leader for and with me with manifesting and dreaming...5d stuff
i reckon sharonne was my owner in another life. and in this one i decided to be free. no mopre pefect service without appreciation. with nandini she serves me so i want to match her rather feeling a need to encourage her. i think i do the same for her.
all is in perfection indeed
thank you for youer reply
loved
enjoy
Hi hunter,
You might find this comparison chart of 3d v 4d relationships - useful. It's quite insightful.
http://iasos.com/metaphys/3d-4d/
liked that
thank you :)
heading in that direction
but there is other people around....with expectations !
sheep skin off...wolf skin honesty on display :)
scary :)
enjoy
thank you for responding ...and so sweetly
ironically one of the ongoing discoursive disagreements ex and i had was i said i love everyone equally , but with different roles. she said you can only love a few people.
also though i think i prefer the leo libran peace now present than the libran aries fire constantly needing me to balance thiongs...to her frustration and mine.... i agree thta the friendship part of our love is still there.... it was what kept us going so long. i miss our history linked.
i see the hope that we can all be friends
but even this feels like the house of cards i built and i lived in are all free falling chaotically. i have no real idea how they will look when they finally hot the ground. or even if they will hiot the ground. i may live in thois flight for ever !?!?
just watching the body and mind play their games
loved
enjoy
"she said you can only love a few people."
That's the possessive 3D definition of love. You are on different worlds in regards to that.
Therein lies the present conflict.
How can you solve that?
well ...i left her two years ago :)
that seems to have dealt with it largely
the problem is now mine
letting go. saying goodby. feeling more love in less attachment. meeting again anew and different
thats the job
poor me ...lol...reminder to self ..thgough not perfect , ms nandini is prretty nice. the world is really wonderfull. so many beautifil opportunities to play the way i say. lose is gain from another angle
im about to receive amassage ... her touch is divine. wont think about the "problem" for a second then
enjoy