Being alone is something you could write a lot about, given the mass of time you spend thinking about why you are, I decided to begin studying it from different angles to help myself combat loneliness and gain further insight into the mechanics of relationships.
I spent a lot of time alone as a child and when I grew into adolescence it didnt seem so difficult to be around other people only it was more difficult not feeling lonely just being around people.
I find solitude is essential for everybody, given it is in humane standards only when people ostracise anyone that already feels lonely the psyche that deals with relationships begins to break down.
Instead of succumbing to the negative aspects of loneliness i decided to devote my time to the study of human nature and use what i learn to affect the people around me in a positive way. This helps me feel like there are people worth caring about but still doesn't help my self image problems or ptsd from abusive relationships.
So this preclusion to solitude and moral values begins to paint a picture only its a picture that says a thousand words about other things without the most important things even being written about yourself because they aren't being experienced. It makes you feel like a player in an orchestra that no one has written any music for, or simply forgot to, you strum along to the same rythms that are driving everybody but your instrument is silent.
i've encountered many lonely people that share thier stories with me only i generally am not the person to fill something in thier lives and the companioned people i encounter generally say something like "i don't understand that, its not my experience" or " I'm sure you'll find someone i don't have time to help you".
The reasons people become reclusive or choose to be absent in a situation shouldn't determine how you treat those people at all instead you should make an effort to include them in something.
I tried being included into group socials but i find the people generally felt imposed upon or unfairly biased toward most of what i would cal healthy dynamics.
Loneliness really gets to me and there aren't many healthy ways i know of dealing with it and i have tried most that i can think of.
This discussion leaves me feeling very drained and depressed im trying to achieve something with my life all by myself most of the time and its exceedingly difficult trying to run your life and at the same time work out why it feels so empty and deal with all the abuse from the past, present and likelihood of it being in the future.
Below are some artworks that reflect the nature of my psyche and the effects of societies spiritual divorce from basic human equality
Replies
Thank you :) and very well said!. I often say we think too much as humans ^_^. We are not so used to trusting feeling so we need to think, I think ;). Heh!
I am recluse from childhood and dont mind it at all. Sometimes I wish I had a partner but that may come some day. Now back to my single life...................
Solitude is a mere and perfectly normal part of human life. I have a "commercial" job and I'm all day long in touch with people so at the end of the day I often appreciate staying quiet and relaxed on my own, when I can finally exercise activities I like, reading, listening to music etc...
I'm almost 35, I have very few good friends, no sentimental relationship and I don't know what the future holds for me. I think we get what we chose to experience and so I'm prone to think our life is the result of a free choice to experience such solitude. It seems it doesn't make sense at first, but probably it does, in a larger perspective we can't catch completely because we are only wonderful souls caged in human bodies...
Being alone is better than being in wrong company- it will make you feel more lonely later.
Osho on Aloneness and Loneliness
http://www.messagefrommasters.com/Spiritual_Quotes/Osho/osho_alonen...
I'm sorry I have to say this....and try not to take it so badly. But....instead of having some authority, someone you think is better than you, or smarter than you, or more wise than you......do your thinking for you....how about thinking for yourself....and letting people know your own wisdom, your own intelligence, your own evolvedness and masterhood.....that you've developed, from your own experience and insights. I been thinking alot about this the past 2 days....how are we to develop into masters....if we keep looking to other people to tell us what life is all about.
...I Enjoy Being Alone...Always Been A Complete Loner....Being Around Others...Sometimes I Feel....Out Of Place.....That Said.....I Enjoy The Company....Of A Few Close Family Members....+ Small Group Of Friends....But Ultimately....Im Happiest Alone.....:).....xx....
Ultimately, our path is a lone path. We can share it together, and help each other along the way....that's important....but ultimately, we are us, and we walk this path by ourselves. So it's best to get comfortable with yourself, and live life your way.
I've spent the better part of the last 10 years, basically alone. I know how important solitude is....there's something about it that puts you on the fast track of growth. When you're alone, you start thinking as an individual. You learn not to be attached, or dependent on others.....or be effected too much by what's going on around you. You become an observer, mostly....you're not directly involved in the dramas happening, so you can stay neutral and objective, and see things more clearly. You can develop your own thoughts and feelings about things, by sensing the nudgings within you....without having other peoples thoughts and feelings influencing that.
But I know too, from experience, that....despite how important solitude is.....it's also important to have relationships, and be connected with people. Imagine going through life, completely alone. We need solitude, but we also need each other....we need relationships and connections with other people, other beings. And ultimately, life isn't really fulfilling, unless you connect to something bigger than yourself.....you think about not just your own life, but the life of the whole. We're individuals, but we're also part of a collective...and we need to be connected to both to truly be whole. It's the great....rhythm of life I guess, or the great ying and yang of life. Alot of life is this balance, this interconnection of ying and yang.
I know how important individuality is.....it's what makes a true genius, and a true artist. I know, first hand....the growth that comes from being in solitude...and being able to connect with your soul. But, again....we need others....we need to be connected with others, and the greater whole itself. Any lack of either, and you'll feel something is off, something is missing, you won't feel complete.
Again, I've spent the better part of the last 10 years alone. I can be extremely introverted, and reclusive....to the point where I'll spend days not saying anything to anyone. I always need my own space, I can't be around people for too long, or I start feeling uncomfortable....almost trapped....and I'll crave to be in my own space again. I don't know if that's normal, probably not, but that's how I am. I've spent so much time alone, that that's where I feel most comfortable. And I doubt that'll ever change.
Wonderful answer John :) I share the same feelings as you do. One lesson I have to learn is not to be afraid or feel guilty for needing my own space. I've spent almost my whole life alone and never really close to anyone, so I've learned a lot from that. But the other part you talk about, to be around people have sometimes overwhelmed me and caused me to feel lonliness.
Just recently I met a girl and it has been progressing really fast forward. We both like eachother, but considering it's a rapid change to my life I think I will still need a lot of time of my own, and I hope she can understand that without interpreting it as I don't want to be with her. How do you say this and make others understand? I feel almost guilty for taking my own space. I'm so used to it, and now just in two weeks things have changed. Any advice? I'm trying my best to be 100% myself and be honest and open, but sometimes I can't decide what choice to take and I often end up wanting to conform others before myself. Is this wrong? A lot of contracictory thoughts and feelings have begun to stir up inside of me, I just hope I can sort them out and once again find balance, without sacrificing my happiness I now hold. :)
Well, I have the same problem, when I'm with my girlfriend. But I just let her know, I need my own space, I need to be alone for a bit....it's not because of you, it's just how I am. She should be able to understand that, without taking that as not wanting to be with her. I mean you don't do it all the time, sometimes it might be better to sacrifice for a bit, to make her happy. But, you can't reasonably expect to be with someone, every minute of the day.
It's good to be independent, and girls like that.....girls seriously like being on their toes lol And it's good to keep them on their toes. But, as for this conflict, to conform, or be true to you....I'd say, be true to you first. Ultimately, if you want a happy life, and a happy relationship, you have to be happy. It really shouldn't be a problem...for her to say, okay I understand you need your alone time sometimes. Just be real with her...be honest. Honest is the best policy....most of the time lol
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