I never really post about politics in the least bit, but this is just down right hilarious.

 Apparently everybody is getting in touch with their higher selves (even if it takes a few drinks)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/drunken-ben-bernanke-tells-everyone-at-neighborhoo,21059/

Here is a taste:

SEWARD, NE—Claiming he wasn't afraid to let everyone in attendance know about "the real mess we're in," Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke reportedly got drunk Tuesday and told everyone at Elwood's Corner Tavern about how absolutely fucked the U.S. economy actually is.

Bernanke, who sources confirmed was "totally sloshed," arrived at the drinking establishment at approximately 5:30 p.m., ensconced himself upon a bar stool, and consumed several bottles of Miller High Life and a half-dozen shots of whiskey while loudly proclaiming to any patron who would listen that the economic outlook was "pretty goddamned awful if you want the God's honest truth."

"Look, they don't want anyone except for the Washington, D.C. bigwigs to know how bad shit really is," said Bernanke, slurring his words as he spoke. "Mounting debt exacerbated—and not relieved—by unchecked consumption, spiraling interest rates, and the grim realities of an inevitable worldwide energy crisis are projected to leave our entire economy in the shitter for, like, a generation, man, I'm telling you."

And hell, as long as we're being honest, I might as well tell you that a truer estimate of the U.S. unemployment rate is actually up around 16 percent, with a 0.7 percent annual rate of economic growth if we're lucky—if we're lucky," continued Bernanke, nearly knocking a full beer over while gesturing with his hands. "Of course, if everybody knew that, it would likely cripple financial markets across the entire fucking globe, even in various emerging economies with self- sustaining growth."

You need to be a member of Ashtar Command - Spiritual Community to add comments!

Join Ashtar Command - Spiritual Community

Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • The thing about getting hammered is that it brings out the underlying you and mostly honesty however one must learn to be drunk all the time but without actually drinking. This is the hardest thing for me to do because when i am drunk i speak totally truth but it hurts peoples feelings in the process.

  • It's totally fake guys :)

    http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/bernanke.asp

    • Good chuckle though!

      • He he I agree. Lightened up my day for sure!

  • Anything from The Onion dot come is comedy, parody, silly and not to be taken seriously. Well, take it seriously as it's a lot that SHOULD be happening, but won't, or things were more than thankful haven't happened. :-)
  • im not feelin this if im not mistaken first of the onion is known for disinfo and the photos look photoshopped to me!!!!! I call B.S.
  • Haha I love the onion, very funny!

    If only it was true !!

    "The Onion is an American news satire organization. It is an entertainment newspaper and a website featuring satirical articles reporting on international, national, and local news, in addition to a non-satirical entertainment section known as The A.V. Club." 

  • This is hilarious.  It really made me chuckle, and actually I do believe that he might be expressing what he feels as truth.  Sometimes liquor can act like a truth serum, and to me his divulging that things are truly grim economy wise resonates as truth.  I am sure his words will come back to haunt him when he reads them and thinks.....my god what have I said and done!

  • "And hell, as long as we're being honest..."

    There is nothing I can possibly think of that would make me believe Ben Bernanke to be a person of honesty!

    Thats the point. It rather looks like yet another attemp to draw a doom & gloom future...

This reply was deleted.

Topics by Tags

Monthly Archives

Latest Activity

Justin89636 replied to Justin89636's discussion Anything Health Related
"This popped up as soon as I got on Youtube. Good thing to. The many benefits of Fasting for your health. https://youtu.be/wfaPIKfzB_8?si=Y72p_IJY_6brpWcG"
3 minutes ago
rev.joshua skirvin posted a blog post
Posted on 07/15/2026 by EraOfLight — Leave a reply The Company of Heaven has encouraged us for decades to pay attention because, as they say, “Cosmic Moments come and Cosmic Moments go.” What they mean by that is that throughout the Universe…
7 minutes ago
rev.joshua skirvin posted a blog post
Posted on 07/15/2026 by EraOfLight — Leave a reply Since the Solstice, we have been experiencing a massive timeline convergence. Multiple timelines have begun folding back into one another. Some are merging while others are dissolving…
22 minutes ago
Movella left a comment on Comment Wall
"You’re welcome. You already knew this, Andro.😏 Keep it up!💜✨"
1 hour ago
Andromedaner Z left a comment on Comment Wall
"copy that Movella, thank you!"
1 hour ago
Movella left a comment on Comment Wall
"Protagonists.✨

Thoughts are magnetic, they have a strong magnetic frequency. As you think, your thoughts are sent out to the universe and they magnetically attract all like things that are a match to the same exact frequency. Everything sent out…"
1 hour ago
Love & Joy posted a discussion
   Master Consciousness By Chris Comish  Master Consciousness is when Universal Love and Radiant Being are natural states. When "every moment contains love," times of joy are opportunities for gratitude and appreciation and times of suffering are…
10 hours ago
AlternateEarth commented on AlternateEarth's blog post U.S. Military Drops SHOCKING UFO Videos – Best Proof Yet?
"awesome Drexk-I'm working on contacting Redonro telepathically but there is a lot of static so I don't always trust that Im receiving the correct information"
13 hours ago
More…