I`d like to discuss the effects of enchantments in different directions. The more I ponder on it, the more I recognize different sources of any disenchantment.
Maybe one source is age. Over the years you experience the effect that all do only cook with water. Some former excitements have cooled down. They have lost their scary appearances. You are disenchanted.
Examples there are many. If you have pondered on solutions you can sleep now and wait for another day. If there are hard times coming you find peace not in fighting but in letting go. You know how it works. You do not wonder anymore on either good or bad times.
Same with females. In former times your dick switched off your brain. You followed the smell of a woman like sheep to slaughter. Now you know the game and illusions. You not even have a look everytime. You know you have become older. You have difficulties with that. But you love your rest and time for yourself.
One wonderful thing about getting older is your awareness you used to sharpen over the years. You are relaxed if Jehovah`s witnesses knock on your door. You invite them for breakfast and serve also - as extravagant fun - blood pudding. Generally you are easygoing in discussions. You can evaluate most other persons you encounter in a very short time. A look, a sentence, a pronunciation. You can choose now.
One thing I find somehow daunting is the disenchantment of having a family with wife and children. In former times I could never imagine being for myself. I got divorced and have 2 adult girls. It took me long to accept being alone. I had different relations and short affairs, but never longer than 4 years.
Meanwhile I find such disenchantment often daunting. And since I often speak with people I know about the subject of disenchantment I have observed that obviously many feel similar. The point is this:
I discover in myself a strong feeling not to have a closer relation to a woman. Other ones tell me the same, including females. I have arranged being alone. Once in a while there comes an hour I could cry, but it`s fading away quick.
When I observe couples around me I have enough. I feel I am not willing to have a similar relationship. Often I could puke on what I see. No, I say, this is not my thing...
At the other hand I am aware that this could not have any comprehensive character. There must be close relationships. There must be establishments of families. And not everybody can live as I live.
I must admit that my style of refusing any new establishment of family is probably a sign of a saturated society. Not that I have no values and virtues. Actually I have many. But i simply experienced a process of disenchantment, even of families.
Meanwhile my 2 sisters got also divorced. One sister has married again, the other one is disenchanted too. She is a beautiful woman and brilliant mind. The difference is, that I love to flirt and experience even delicate situations while she is a stay-at-home. I assume she becomes an aunt Polly when she is getting older (the aunt in Huck Finn)...
I had a friend from Pakistan, very smart, very kind and culturized. We had often discussed about what I described. But he had a father at his home who wanted him to marry. So he went home to Pakistan to fulfill the wish of his father and married a woman his father has sought out.
Funny enough, he came back to Germany after he married and lives on as he used to do before...
I`d like to ask you about this. Does anybody of you believe in the spiritual obligation of establishing a family? I should mention that Luther for instance demanded a marriage in order to overcome the ego. He considered marriage a divine service.
I ask again for gentle consideration...
Replies
i dont know but i feel a bit the same..dissallusioned ...lost without belonging..empty....lets face it ...depressed
this isnt an answer rather its a thing i want to get off my chest
i left my wife of 25 years 2 years ago and have been in another relationship for almost that long
it wasnt fun for a long time and i dont feel attracted to her as once i did
but
i love her! every single day i wake up with my wife in my mind. i want to make it alright for her and i want my identity of father and husband back. i miss my home like a hole in the heart
i spend hours everyday wishing i could turn back the clock
i really appreciate my new partner and have more in common with her than with my ex....and yet i am torn..in neither one place or the other...jerking everyone about too!
logic says keep moving ..walk into the distance...be decisive( but my foolish decisions got me here )
i feel im in an impossible situation where i cant please anybody including my self.... my new partner needs/expects my support and deserves my committment ...as does my ex ( no longer expects)......my health and energy are suffereing... even feel disalusioned with my work which is normally uplifting in the extreme and accordingly the universe sends less clients and the finances become even more pressured
the only thing i know is to meditate but its like im going backwards and cant seem to get the get up to get over it
in time perhaps....trust trust trust...
thanks for reading/ listening ( LOL)