I found Ashtar Command just a bit ago and have spent much time reading through posts, groups and forums, unsure if what I have been thinking is worth being posted. But from a little inspiration, just a little about myself, to finally put it out there.
I've always viewed myself as someone private with a good notion of who the core in me, was; diverse, daydreamer, vulnerable etc. and I've never felt good enough because of this. I've felt so weak and would see the strength in everyone else but me. I draw upon my ego, negative inner states & animistic desires, to ruthlessly criticize and critic. All the while aware of it and my destructive nature, it does not release me from it. I have come to thinking recently that a truth, for all reality that a 'truth' can hold, can not be obtained by one, but by several spoken mouths. One truth I hold to myself, and has been greatly reenforced, is that of love. That I am love and light, cradled in a spirit, that for now resides in a third dimensional body. I have only my words and energies of love to share and dispel to others, to enhance and uplift myself and those who chose to listen.
My highs are the tops of mountains on a bluebird day, my lows are a tempestuous sea, boats rocking wildly about. I find it so easy to exude my love outwardly, but yet seemed to have forgotten of myself. To learn, aid, promote, indulge and laugh with others; my love and light shines brightly upon all who are willing to recieve, yet I seem to carry a cloud over myself, unable to pentrate through to sunny days. For the abilty I have, I do not know why my own love can not manifest.
For now, I have a glimpse of who I am in this life, but every passing moment and breathe gives me the opportunity for discovery and experience. I often find I have trouble digesting and accepting my current state. Does it matter Who I am, or more, What I am? Is this a mere perception or a reality, of myself? The only difference between myself and the birds falling from our skies, the stars burning brightly and the aspen roots growing tightly, is the simplistic way my genes choose to form into one form over another. I am the dust and gases of our sun, the water and molecules of our oceans, the energy passed from tidal current to mountain gust. How can it matter what I am, if I am all, and may have the unconscious ability to be all, aware of all. I have always felt that I have spent my life on a quest, and it took quite a long time for me to realize it is not a quest to find myself, but to find how to live in harmony and fluidly with all surrounding me. How to parallel the vibrations and energies of life. To blend harmoniously with the energies of our world, our universe and multiverse.
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -Eleanor Roosevelt
Much Love and Be Well,
Perceived Dreams
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Replies
Hello new friend. Be blessed!
Hello Perceived Dreams :)
I understand giving love, but being unable to accept it.
This is one of my 'faults' I am working on.
Also the highs and lows.
Mine happen at the time of a full moon and sometimes a new moon too.
Have you noticed this of yours?
((hugs)) to you x