The pattern is this; I have two close friends. They connect and become bestfriends while slowly pushing me out, all the while pretending we're friends. This used to be torture, I'd count down the days until summer holidays and hope the school year would go fast. I have grown a lot since then, travelled alot, which is my passion. I grew, I knew myself, I felt so free. As if I was completely cabable of chosing my friendships, of saying no.
Now, I'm studying as an exchange student with two close friends. One of them lost her father last year and I have been there for her like no one else. She's quite childish though, and if she doesn't get her way, she gets...not mad, but annoyed. Hard to talk to. She's used to get all the boys. My two close friends share a lot of private jokes and private talks, I hate this because they appear to be my bestfriends but every single day - my energy is just dragged out. It's like falling into a bubble I can't get out of. Our classes at college is intimate and small, I don't know anyone else but them. If I chose to ignore them (which I would if we weren't at school together) it would be easy, but I can't just start ignoring them while sitting so close to them every day.
This feels like a stupid post because it's not important. I know I am free and can chose, but I keep getting in these friendships where it seems like there's no way out. I'm so scared to be on my own. Meeting boys, they get a lot of attention even though none of us are a Jessica Alba-kind of girl. I just know that whenever we walk into a room, something pushes me down and I can't even smile. Guys come so easily to them - and why on earth do I sit here worrying about boys??
My question I guess, is if anyone else has been in my situation and what do to. When I am alone, I am completely happy - but as soon as I 'mix with humans' things get complicated. I need a time out. I need to get stronger, I don't know where to turn....
Peace.
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Funnily enough, two of my friends who became 'best friends' later had a nasty 'break up'. And yet I am still friends with both of them : )
My sister twin sister is my best friend, we have known each other for a long time and she keeps me grounded.
And you know how majestic a tree stands; one of those forest giants but isn't it a good thing they don't eat food like us otherwise there would be great caves around their roots and they would fall over. Find your handsome prince in your heart as I can tell you now he is just itching to meet up with you and get to know you.When you do that he will come into your life shortly after. Cheers for now Kingjeff
I have learned friends come and go in our life, often due to circumstances. Some friends come into our life to help us, others come into our lives for us to help. When we have given, or gained what we needed, these people then drift out of our lives again. I have read this is the way it's meant to be spiritually, they can help us, or we can help them, based purely on need.
I know it can seem lonely, I often feel alone myself, but I don't have a major problem, I just accept it as it is. I guess I don't mind because I am a very outgoing person with a wicked sense of humour, and I can talk to anyone and everyone, and make them all laugh. I was always invited to every party going when I was younger because I was the life of the party, often having the entire room laughing at my humour, and there the cycle begins again, making more friends again, based on need.
You are young, you will soon learn that the most important aspect of your life is to be able to enjoy your own company.
Friends come and go, but we are with ourselves for a long, long time.
It sounds like you are the person that creates a dynamic for friends to build friendships, but in the process you get edged out of the relationship... This is probably a pattern that you need to work around, find a way to keep a connection with them or change your dynamic in how you mix with your friendships :)
It sounds like you are very valuable to have around, so you just need to make sure people understand that through building a stronger relationship and not letting them edge you out. You may need to assert yourself more and create youself as a leader that takes control of the situation, so your value isn't lost in these relationships that you are helping to create!
Stay strong, don't give up on people ~ you will succeed :)
Great answer Goddess. I too have had the same problem. I like think that a vast majority of people who are receptive to frequencies outside of the "normal" thought wave patterns, have had this problem or similar symptoms to the underlining problem, to one degree or another.. Particularly those in their youth or just waking up. Those who have yet to learn how to intuitively control and direct their energies, as it conflict with the awkward state of awareness around them..
Perhaps meditation will help you to work it out.