Spiritual Forum

To be labelled a gossip isn’t an affirmation however it probably ought to be. The fact is that gossip can be good.

These days few will proudly admit to participating in gossip but almost all of us do. Gossip happens all over the world, across all ages, and including equally both genders. Indeed studies examining sample conversations established that almost 60% of our time is spent gossiping about relationships and personal experiences.

Gossip hasn’t always been maligned as being only malicious. The word gossip first meant godparent or a familiar acquaintance and was used to describe someone who told of a family's news and developments.

In pre-modern societies the way people learnt was almost exclusively through conversations about each other’s experience. Gossip was crucial to understanding the world that they lived in and was shamelessly and endlessly engaged in.

The same is so in our current communities. Raw scientific data may well provide insights however nothing beats a story when it comes to accessing complex ideas. In a real sense gossip can be considered a moral story that starts with “did you hear about” rather than “once upon a time”.

Now, as before, gossip serves to let us learn. By hearing and sharing stories, we learn about the social norms and conventions of those around us. We learn how and how not to act in the company that we keep.

Another outcome gossip encourages is closeness. To gossip is to talk, listen, share secrets and stories and in so doing we’re bonded together. Gossip helps us form friendships and to identify as being a part of a group.

Gossip can also help us understand whom and how far we can trust other people. It gives a context in which you might better predict the potential behaviour of those that surround you.

On the other side of this equation is proof of how much you can be trusted by others. Being the subject of negative gossip is an event to avoid and accordingly acts to deter dissonant behaviours as powerfully as positive gossip can encourage cooperation.

Gossip is a potent presence in our species and can be used cruelly for selfish purposes. If however we gossip to understand and explain ourselves and each other more deeply with respect it can actually add immeasurably to our communities’ wellbeing.

Martin Hunter Jones is an honorary member of the Australian Counselling Association.