having conversations always be brought to a close always lets me work well during the day, when conversations are somehow left "unclosed" or "unfinished" than I always feel antsy during the day, as if an anxiety is always nagging my inner parts of my self all day long, mea, horrible
I realized I slowly and surely learn how to post here, in ways that somehow cause a kind of opening and closing in the same comment, so that whatever tsunami comes after my comments will not completely take what I said completely out of the context or energy that I was meaning, when I wrote it "said" it etc
anyone else have this problem, or get what I'm on about? hehehe
anyways, an unclosed diolog. I find strange that this can have such affect on me during the day, very weird, as if its some kind of energy flow put on hold, till later, which is ludicrous I feel sometimes when its something I'm excited about, when it comes to the flow of energy through yourself, as conversations are this to large degree etc
I find making sure I write in more parable based ways, so as to base every insightful comment on a hard kind of backbone of mystical knowledge I already know in my heart, helps alot, creates a kind of turtle shell
damn, i'm almost talking war-zone speak here, hehehe
I talk a lot of philosophy with a good good uber close friend of mine (hehehe, in the real world, hehehe), and we just go all off on our escapades of thoughts and dreams freely, between him and me we generate what seems like new bibles, hehehe, I should tell him this, hehehe but theirs no need to guard myself from him, its just fun and pure honesty and truth revealing, he has many strange digrees in psychology, terms and words I can not pronounce yet he can spit it to me in human terms and fast, but the energy always flows, like a wild river, but it flows, like were talkin psychic speed here
many of you may have noticed I get a little to heady at times, and sometimes to my own detriment, hehehe, learning, learning, also I'v. . . . been around. (later story)
on this site its different, yes its a website, but it is different, can be tricky and many folks here, and theirs always someone here thats way beyond you, hehehe, everyone knows this deal by now I'm sure hehehe
what are your thoughts, what are your strategys, have any solutions to such problem, do you understand what I am going on about? maybe I'm missing something? no actually more than something, but I'll leave that for some later story, hehehe
(in another note: I also need to learn new ways to write my ongoing giggles in blogs and comments, hehehe)
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part of the problem with the love of new thoughts/ideas/concepts etc, being so ongoingly curious in such things always brings me to this level of vainness that I always have to start to shake off from time to time, kind of horrible curse of mine I always suffer from, you may have noticed : )
but it always feels nice to write some of my gobbledygook once and awhile, though I think most of it was understood this time around, hehehe
I'm glad their were insights of experience others had, who have some of their own input on the matters at hand
hehehe, hey what can I say, sometimes I almost wonder if somebodys messing with the weather up here, hehehe, temporarily
this is a problem I have had for long time, yea I meditate, two specifically different ways daily, mostly I think it comes from past trauma, I'd assume that is, its funny I post this now as I have finally gained an almost full control over the influences external and internal to me in day to day physical life, I mean in that looming way that influences/energys can bebut I guess this website can take my poor little mind for a swing sometimes, and in a way that most in my where-abouts do not have the ability to do
this website lets me survive spiritually, if it did not exsist, I am not sure what I would do to keep myself up and going