Spiritual Forum

Hello everyone.

I've joined this place today after I found Greg Giles' channelling and I started looking for more information about Ashtar. 

I'm 26 years old and I live in Poland. Since I remember I was always the odd one. I had troubles accepting rules, for example family rules. I couldn't understand a lot of their normal behaviour such as normal everyday routines, celebrations etc. I was also an odd child, behaving different than my peers and having serious difficulties in relationships with them. Until my studies I didn't have close classmates not even one good friend. I was always like 'I have my rules, I do what I feel I should do and I keep searching for what is good for me, what makes me feel good'. I don't mean material things. I was looking for my own way. I have never understood the idea of money. I mean, if there was no money we would work to make the world and life better, for our common good. Moreover, even today I don't understand why we have countries and wars. This is one huge nonsense. We should live one person for the other one and so on. No wars, we should all live in peace. It took me many years to understand that people are different than I am and they don't think in the same pattern than I do. I don't really know if I'm a Lightworker, Star Child or simply a human. I wish I knew the answer. 

During New Year's celebration I saw on the sky a red, not moving round object. After a few second it started moving left very fast. I knew it had to be UFO. The next day I thought 'Ok, 2012, the end of the world, I saw UFO...' so I started looking on the Internet for more information about Mayan callendar. As a result of reading anything that I found I was depressed for two weeks. I realised I can't worry about things which may or may not happen because I won't be able to do anything about it. The only thing I can do is to do what I must do and live. However, I'm a curious person and I couldn't resist to read more about it. It took me over a month to read everything about 2012, not only about the end of the world (era) but also about what may occur within this year. And I must add, not so long ago I realised that every time I read a bad information (the ones that made me feel fear and depressed) good information were simply 'brought' to me. I can't explain it but I felt like it was meant to me to find out more about 2012. I couldn't collect my thoughts to find a reasonable explanation to what I've read so I had to search deeper. Unexpectedly I found out about Pleiadians and I really liked what they said. I could feel IT in my heart. It was wonderful. Every day I keep finding something new (Ekhart Tolle, Greg Gilles, Ashtar etc.). I just don't want to think that there's Nibiru coming but if it's coming, I hope it's not going to hit our planet. Coming back to the beginning of my introduction, which is quite long and I'm so sorry about that! I was looking for Ashtar. I also found on YouTube a video when Vrillon interrupted news on TV in 1977. I think, people simply forgot about it. And when it comes to channelings and the truth out there, I think many humans either don't want to hear about it (because they think ET beings doen't exist) or they don't care. 

At the end of my message, I have a small request. Could you answer to my two worries below, please? I suppose you all here know a lot more than I do.

As I said, I've read countless articles and found so much information but I still have some questions. I'm confused in many areas of this subject and I seek for clarification. As for this moment I wonder and worry, what will happen to my family and my dog? I love my grandparents (my mom's parents), they are good people but they wouldn't understand that there may live other beings (I don't use the word 'aliens' because I think it's offensive to them!). And my brother laughs at me because I keep looking at the sky during the night, talking about stars and other beings, including 2012 awakening. He doesn't want to hear about it. Will they all be awaken? I love them so much, I wouldn't like to leave them. 

The second things is that there are some people I trully don't like. You know how it is, some people just irritate you. Is it bad for me? Will this crucially affect my change? 

I'll appreciate your answers to my worries above. 

PS. Did anyone of you had today a terrible migrene?