How do you constructively deal with intuitive empathy? What practical methods can you employ to avoid becoming overamped or depleted? I'm going to present some strategies I use. Try them. See which appeal. One is not more preferable than another. Most important is if your choice works.
Walk away
Let's say you're chatting with a man you've just met at a conference and your energy starts bottoming out. Here's how to tell if you're being zapped: Don't hesitate to politely excuse yourself; move at least twenty feet from him (outside the range of his energy field).
If you receive immediate relief, there's your answer. Most people are oblivious to how their energy impacts others. Even energy vampires--people who feed off your energy to compensate for a lack of their own--aren't generally intending to sap you yet still they do.
Obnoxious or meek, vampires come in all forms. Watch out for them. For years, reluctant to hurt anyone's feelings, I needlessly endured these types of situations and suffered. How many of us are so loathe to appear rude that a raving maniac can be right in our face, and still we don't budge for fear of offending? Whenever possible--if your well-being feels at risk with an individual or group--give yourself permission to make a tactful and swift exit. In a spot, physically removing yourself is a sure quick solution.
Shield yourself
A handy form of protection many people use, including healers with trying patients, involves visualizing an envelope of white light (or any color you feel imparts power) around your entire body. Think of it as a shield that blocks out negativity or physical discomfort but allows what's positive to filter in.
For instance, your sister is on the rampage. She's about to blow up; you don't want her anger to shatter you. Now--take a deep breath, center yourself, engage your shield. Literally picture it forming a fail-safe barrier around you which deactivates anger. It simply can't get to you.
Shielding is a deliberately defensive technique aimed at guarding your feelings, not repressing them. It works by establishing a perimeter of protection around you that functionally doesn't permit harm in.
Practice vulnerability
One tenet of my spiritual practice is to remain as vulnerable as I can to everything; not to shield, the antithesis of defense. Some people prefer my strategy, some don't. Use it if it succeeds for you. Here's the premise (not madness) behind this: if we solidify our bond to our inner self, we'll become centered enough not to need to defend at all.
Thus, the best protection turns out to be no protection--a stance that initially alarmed me. It didn't seem possible I could do hands-on energy work with someone who had cancer or depression, for example, without absorbing their symptoms myself. But it was. What could be more liberating than to find I could hold my own and still remain open! Too often we're taught to equate vulnerability with weakness.
Not so. I like being vulnerable and also strong. This disarms people. To me, the appeal of such an approach is that it's a non-fear-based way of living in the world. It requires that, increasingly, you harmonize with whatever you confront, let it flow through you, then recenter again, stabilized by your own resilience. Pace yourself. A vulnerable posture will feel safer the stronger you get. It is a choice and a life-long practice.
Meditate
To cement your inner bond and hold your center in any situation, I recommend a daily practice of meditation where you focus on the spirit within. Doing so gets you into the habit of connecting with yourself. Start with a few minutes, then gradually increase the duration. The technique is simple: follow your breath and explore the silence. It is not void or empty; that's the mystery.
As thoughts come, and they will, continue to refocus on your breath. Every inhalation. Every exhalation. The spaces between thoughts are where your spirit waits to be discovered. There is something real in there worth finding. My spirit feels like a core of head-to-toe warmth vertically aligned though the center of my body.
Imbued in the warmth itself is an intelligence and intuitive responsiveness to my rhythms and questions. It speaks only truth, which resonates like a chiming in every cell. Silently become acquainted with your spirit. You can return to it to reinforce who you really are--not just the self you present to the world, but that part of you that is timeless. Make room to pursue it.
You can also see the video of this message here /spiritual-videos/dr-judith-orloff/how-to-stop-absorbing-other-peoples-energy
Judith Orloff MD is bestselling author of the new book Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life http://affiliates.iamplify.com/scripts/t.php?aid=2ec34c39&bid=2... (Three Rivers Press, 2011) upon which these tips and article are based. Her insights in Emotional Freedom create a new convergence of healing paths for our stressed out world. An assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, Dr. Orloff's work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, and in Oprah Magazine and USA Today.
This message was originally posted here a href="http://www.drjudithorloff.com/Free-Articles/Stop-Absorbing.htm">http://www.drjudithorloff.com/Free-Articles/Stop-Absorbing.htm
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Replies
I have this problem alot these days. It's not so much that I absorb their energy, as it is, I embody their state. Like if I see somebody being a certain way, I'll think, what makes them that way, what place do you have to go within you to be that way. Then I'll start becoming that. Like I'll see someone being just totally immature, and think, what makes someone be that way...and I'll literally start changing and becoming that way. Or if I see someone being really mind, and fake, I'll say, what makes someone be like that...then I'll start being like that. I can't really help it, it's just an extreme empathy.
And it goes beyond just personality. Like I remember a few weeks ago, I was watching videos and saw someone with a spine injury, and he couldn't talk properly, he stuttered....and I thought, oh I wonder what it's like to be that way. And I imagined and felt myself being that way, and my spine literally started to change, and suddenly I had trouble perceiving things, my motor skills went haywire, and I suddenly couldn't think or talk properly. I started stuttering, just like the guy in the video. That was scary, and there's been other things like that recently, and it's taken alot of discipline to not embody these type of things when I see them in other people.
It's not always bad though. I remember watching a Michael Jackson video, and seeing how easily he moved and how much body control he had, and I thought, I wonder what it's like to be like that. And I already have a dancers body and great body control, but when I imagined that, again, I felt the nerves in my body change, I suddenly started feeling real light, and I could feel things flowing so smoothly and I had almost total control of my body. But then I start feeling like, oh this is too good to be true, I don't deserve this...and it started going away lol
So there's alot of power in empathy, and learning how to be...and be in your being. Most people have no idea about this stuff, but it's real. And of course it helps alot if you live in the now. When you live in the now, it's ten times as powerful, because everything you imagine, you start creating, right now. It's a powerful thing and it takes discipline to use that power wisely. That's why most people haven't learned how to do it yet.