.......always struggled with depression , propably ever since my parents abandoned me at the age 13 . had very difficult teenagehood , extremely difficult 20's where I attempted a suicide and by pure miracle I survived that after 6 days in coma . my early 30's looked promising to deal with this when I changed my diet from meat to veggies and fruit , however my my incredibly unsucesful marriage had really put a spin on my life. I recovered from it and went on 20 yrs journey of self discovery . When I thought that I had found peace in my life , after yrs of personal struggles I was ready to reenter the society and everything it offers That I walked away before . Now I am going throu my second divorce to a woman I really , really Love but unfortunatelly she doesnt think I am ready to be with her. My depression has gotten worst since saturday , I have no longer any tears left to cry with , I cant even get out of bed to go to work. I am in such a bad shape I cant even concentrate enough to do meditation , which I know will help me. I have suicidal thoughts again which depresses me ever more. I feel lost and unloved and have no idea what to do. Been locked in my place since saturday , my fridge is empty of food and I dont even have any strenght to go shopping.
I feel so sad ..............................please guys , send me some possitive energy , I need it really bad.............
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I strongly suggest doing some research to find resources in your area to help you deal with your depression.
I'm sorry you feel depressed. Sending positive thoughts your way... energies lately have hit hard... for me at least. It's a roller coaster of depression and happiness. My best suggestion here, is to get out into nature... deep into nature and just be.
Without realizing yourself to be the love you think you need, you'll most likely find trouble sustaining any healthy relationship. You can't love yourself, so you don't allow anybody else to love you.
Life is a self-reflection.
The ideal situation would to become a lighthouse for spirit, realizing yourself to be the unlimited source of supply you think you lack.
This experience has led to you realize that you can't achieve outside, what you haven't realized within yourself first. So you keep asking from outside.
Until you don't discover your inner source, from which to draw spiritual food for all your "needs" inside this experience, you'll still keep being miserable.
Have you seen it? Again, "please guys , send me some positive energy , I need it really bad" You're deluded, like any other spiritual beggar. The Gold is inside, friend.
Wake up
No, labeling someone "deluded" or a "beggar" is labeling yourself "deluded" and a "beggar", .. its also judging others according to how you view yourself, and bluntly telling someone to "Wake up" says more about your own desire to awaken more fully to yourself than it does of Michael .. remember, everything you say is a reflection of yourself ..
Michael was sinply reaching out for some support, and when someone is in their darkest hour, then we offer them our support with kindness and without judging them ..
thank you for your kind words and support . I have gotten much better since , temporary , initional lack of self love has passed already and realization of getting better on personal level had set in . I appreciate your honesty ...................
"God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference."
( ( ( Stand Strong In the Glory of the Light ) ) )
one of the reasons I prefer to be miserable – at least misery likes company, depression not so much – it’s like a prison cell 6 by 8 feet in size 5 walls and the door that only opens from outside and it calls dark solitary confinement …. that denies any type of ‘freedom’ … life. A sense of punishment and being guilty for some choices that we make in our life … nobody can’t be reformed nor transformed in this confinement – why do we do it to ourselves … the saddest part we ‘volunteer’ … to experience it … humans are just the weirdest paradoxes in the Universe … ;))
Michael, I can tell you now, I have been suffering with depression for most of my life, ever since I was six or seven years old and I am nearly fifty and still going through it. The slightest thing can bring me to tears, memories, sad regrets, loss, heartache, the way the world is at the moment and the where people are at in their own awareness, the cruel nature of humanity, it all contributes to me feeling really down and sometimes I seriously wonder what the point of my being here on the Earth is actually all about.
I have been searching for spiritual meaning and positive material on the web for years and I eventually became a member of Ashtar Command. I must admit, I havent been here for a while because I have been feeling very down and depressed and I thought that somehow it would transfer from my own energy field and that other people may sense that I am feeling a deep sense of sadness and therefore I chose not to come online, but I have been missing Ashtar Command and I have been missing many of the members in here, as I regard ALL of us as close family and dear friends, yourself included. I felt a terrible sense of guilt for not being here but I simply havent been able to contribute in the forum as much as I would have liked to, all due to the depression that has literally blocked me somehow. I can understand what it feels like to want to stay in bed, because oftentimes life can be terribly painfull to deal with. I get feelings where I have no idea anymore what my purpous in life is, I feel lost, no direction, weary, tired, confused, fed up, drained, like there is some inner demons that I am wrestling with and it puts my stomach in knots. I get afraid, I get upset and I feel like I have reached the end of my thether time and time again, but I am deeply grateful for this website and all of the beautiful souls that reside in here, for without them, I may not have been able to still be here. and I feel that I can always touch base with them because there is an underlining love that bonds us all together. I feel an enormous sense of gratitude to the members in here because I know that they are connected to the same corner of the sandbox that I am in, and that even though I am currently going through a depression, they are still here for me and I can only hope that wherever I am here, that I may uplift others somehow, and so I do my best to stay positive and share what I can with all of my heart.
Depression is never easy, its awful and painfull and is often not understood by to those who have never expierenced it themselves.
You are most definitaly not alone my brother, I am going through a huge amount of depression which usually happens to me in the mornings, and I have all but given up on everything, so I can understand exactly what you are/ have been feeling, but please remember that we are absolutely loved by Prime Creator and by all of us in here, so no matter how bad it seems, it will indeed pass ... so hang in there my friend, I am right by your side, it s going to be alright.
Sending you infinite Love Michael .. always ...
Luke.
Luke , you are so beautyful.....................
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