.......always struggled with depression , propably ever since my parents abandoned me at the age 13 . had very difficult teenagehood , extremely difficult 20's where I attempted a suicide and by pure miracle I survived that after 6 days in coma . my early 30's looked promising to deal with this when I changed my diet from meat to veggies and fruit , however my my incredibly unsucesful marriage had really put a spin on my life. I recovered from it and went on 20 yrs journey of self discovery . When I thought that I had found peace in my life , after yrs of personal struggles I was ready to reenter the society and everything it offers That I walked away before . Now I am going throu my second divorce to a woman I really , really Love but unfortunatelly she doesnt think I am ready to be with her. My depression has gotten worst since saturday , I have no longer any tears left to cry with , I cant even get out of bed to go to work. I am in such a bad shape I cant even concentrate enough to do meditation , which I know will help me. I have suicidal thoughts again which depresses me ever more. I feel lost and unloved and have no idea what to do. Been locked in my place since saturday , my fridge is empty of food and I dont even have any strenght to go shopping.
I feel so sad ..............................please guys , send me some possitive energy , I need it really bad.............
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Look in the mirror Michael so are you
I am struggling why would universe let this happen to me after yrs of self discovery , search for a meaning of life and getting better with my depression. Is it because I am not ready ? Is it because my karma bad one to say the least. I did some bad stuff in the past , long , long time ago ) .............i tried to let all that go , leave it in the past box, but I feel my suffering is not over yet. And I lost a girl , I really love....................trying very hard to stay come ,
There's the three fold law what bad is put out it comes back three times but I believ e what good you put out out comes back ten times dearest one I believe your best is to come its the universe clearing so you can be loaded in abundance rightfully so rightfully deserved.....
Wishing you love and positive energy; you matter.
thank you everybody for kind words and your loving energy . I really needed that. I am slowely getting up again and getting ready to face reality. Had my first real meal today , strawberries and spinach salad from my garden. still sad thou.................................
and that is the bravest thing Michael ... to know how you feel and find courage to get up everyday .... sad is good (you're still alive) ... there is no protection against sadness, the same goes to happiness, love and etc ... ;))
getting there slowly............went for a walk in the park , found some more tears to shed . also made couple phone calls to see whats happening around world and it turnes out that my old friend , my mentor in gardening and permaculture needs help on his farm. I worked there yrs ago , so I know what to expect there when I arrive in northern Cali .
Peace & Blessings...
Hey Michael, I can relate on many levels of your trauma, with the anxiety and depression, and I know what its like to not have the will to get out of bed. For me the feeling has felt something that is out of my control, something beyond my choosing, as in a spell or oppression. I have found that there are things we do that can leave us vulnerable to it, and there are things we can do to protect ourselves from it. I don't have all the answers but I have some advice I would like to offer that has helped me tremendously. I have sent you a friend request so that I may private message you, in the chance that you choose to keep some info discreet.
Dear Michael, I feel so bad for you, that's terrible. Aurum Metallicum 30c 3 drops 4 times a day is a homeopathic remedy for anxiety and depression and it really is quite good. Also, get yourself a good quality vitamin B Complex as this is so good at combating depression, you need to take the strongest you can find of the highest quality 4 times a day (not good on an empty stomach). Don't get supermarket vitamins as they are poor quality and a waste of money. I'd like to suggest that you avoid pharmaceutical anti-depressants since they can make you way worse.
Good luck and I will send you lots of light.
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