Spiritual Forum

think it is important to remember that the dominant and submissive roles in a relationship are not an indication of hierarchy, Rather a recognition and acceptance of the differing role requirements of any relationship. Each unique, and equally important. The potential that exists between the dominant and submissive is the engine that drives a relationship. If there aren't clearly defined roles, nothing will ever get done. Someone has to have the vision and the conviction in that vision to decide that this is the course of action that will be taken. And someone has to bring that vision to life. Looked at in these terms, a balanced relationship will see the female as the dominant and the male as the submissive. Not to say that the roles can't be reversed, but fundamentally and biologically, the female is the dominant. And so it should be. The woman chooses the mate, (deny it all we like, we all know its true. At some point the woman has given the ok). The woman bears the child, The woman has the greater emotional, and thus behavioural flexibility. Acceptance of this allows the relationship to operate consistently with the the Law of requisite variety - the most flexible element in the system ultimately controls the system. Because females have the more behavioural options. The most feminine element also controls the sex in the relationship. (Refer Law of Requisite Variety – the one with the higher perspective sees the "game” better. And therefore makes the rules.
This of course is where the magic can start to happen in a relationship. If the feminine gives clear and congruent directions and provides appropriate encouragement, (varies relationship to relationship. Remember, men are simple creatures with simple needs :), the masculine, freed from the tiresome decision making process, and suitably inspired, can then do what he does best. Provide, protect, and turn dreams into reality. Hence the expression, "Behind every great man lies a strong and wise woman. This is the recipe for a relationship that is both dynamic and enduring. (NOTE: the man can still have a say in what happens and the woman can still help make it happen, of course).
In my experience most of the problems you see in relationships revolve around the non acceptance of the natural submissive/dominant order of things. Where the roles are back to front you see the dominant masculine beating his chest, talking it up yet he's actually flat our going nowhere. Worse still for our poor masculine specimen, the true dominant member of the relationship is tearing him to shreds for being all talk, no action. And "not a man'. What this does is reduce the potential between the respective roles. The relationship has no direction or drive. And no spark to ignite the sex life. One of them is redundant in the relationship, the masculine.
The true gift of the return of the Divine Sacred Feminine is the re-establishment of our natural relationship roles. With women rapidly reclaiming their sexual power they are now now beginning to establish themselves as the more dominant gender. Which I believe will be a relief for the masculine population. It will allow men to get out there doing what it is they are designed to do. Become engrossed in the task of turning Mothers vision into a reality. Because he knows if he does a good job, he'll get rewarded. And then he works even harder. Which is what men really like to do. Tis truly a grand design.
There are therapeutic implications for using the above as a relationship model over a gender based model as well. It provides a consistent frame of reference that is applicable to any relationship. Because you are not looking for right and wrong behaviours, which is ultimately subjective. You are merely establishing the natural order of the relationship. Abusive relationships are a good example. This next bit has the potential to be controversial however. So I ask you to follow my reasoning before you start throwing pots and pans at me. If the above is correct, which of course is open to debate, you can see the potential for the female to use her inherently more flexible nature to play both sides of the game in a "dysfunctional relationship.” Even as the physically abused, the female is still the dominant. Because it is the man that has lost control. He has no answer for the woman who looks like a woman, emotionally fights him like a man and then complains that she doesn't get treated like a woman anymore. That relationship is still balanced. The nature of that balance, however, tends to the destructive. I believe it is much easier to establish a more empowering balance than it is to fix something that isn't necessarily broken.
Namaste