Howdy =)
I have been watching this site for quite some time through my mother Semile, and ultimately joined for her and because I've liked what I've seen thus far. I'm 22 years old - I don't feel it. I feel younger. People tell me I seem older. I suppose age is sometimes an irrelevant thing.
Spiritually...I'm all over the place. To be simple, I mostly tell people that I'm pastafarian. It's a spoof religion that ultimately struck me because of its attitude towards dogma. Pastafarianism is mostly about saying, "I believe in this...but that doesn't mean I need to force it on other people, or that I'm completely correct and can't change my mind later if new information comes out." Ultimately, I believe in keeping an open mind. The universe is far more amazing than we can sometimes understand or express - and new information is coming in all the time, through science...through channeling...through websites like this...I'm all about the open mind.
That said, I mostly follow the hermetic philosophies as they are written about in the Kybalion. Or, I believe them. I suppose? And I believe in my mother - she has taught me many things throughout my life, and I have always seen her as a very wise person. That's not to say I think she knows everything; like me, she is on a journey to learn and grow. Like all of us. But it has been a great pleasure for me to be on this journey with her, and she has truly helped shape the person I am today - open minded, spiritual and scientific, artistic, and able to see the human race for the amazing creation it is.
The rules in my house - both when I was growing up and today - were:
- no violence
- no lying
- the respect you put out comes back to you
I was raised as if I was an adult in a small body that maybe couldn't understand full adult vocabulary, but was still able to comprehend the underlying ideas. I feel blessed to have been raised as such. I feel that I'm a better person for it.
Today, I am on a spiritual journey with two goals in mind: the first and foremost goal is that, being a writer, I would like to reach a position where I can give my writing to the world. There is a dichotomy in the writing community when it comes to the beliefs about publication: some people view it as a good thing, some people view it as a bad thing. It is either...making people happy, entertaining them and teaching them, giving them a part of yourself...or it is selling your writing to the highest bidder, almost akin to selling your soul. I fall in the first group. I believe that you must write for yourself, first and foremost, rather than the public - but I believe that for me to give my writing to the world would be the most beautiful present I could give people. I realize that sounds egotistical, but I don't mean it as such...we all give parts of ourselves to the world. My writing is the most intimate part of myself, the most personal, the most meaningful to me...for me to want to give that to the world is a Very Big Thing for me.
The other goal I have in mind as I continue on my spiritual journey is thus: I would like to reach a point where I can overcome the chemicals in my brain that control all of us...I would like to reach a point where I can understand where my bad mood is coming from as I am going into it, and say, "No, I don't need to be in a bad mood right now; I can be in a good mood." Essentially, I would like better control over myself, and I would like to gain this control through a better understanding of this body I have. It is a tool...a beautiful, wonderful, amazing tool...truly a wonder of evolution. I do not need fear of things that are not to be feared (politics, The Future, etc.); I do not need drama that is not mine to borrow; I do not need headspins. As of right now, I am still susceptible to these things, but I hope to get over them...to be able to live who I am without worrying.
As a final statement, I want to say that I love you. Whoever you are, whatever you've done in your life: you are amazing. Brilliant. Wonderful. And I love you.
I hope that everybody is having a fantastic day, and continues to do so. Take care of yourselves, all of you. *Many hugs*.
Replies
By the phrasing of your paragraphs, it looks to me as you still believe in the dichotomic (is that a word?) sense of things: good/ bad, needed/ unneeded. On and on.
Er, don't get me wrong, that's just the way it looks like. Might not be what you actually believe.
But by believing in that structure, you are allowing yourself to be controlled, by forces that manipulate those good/bad things. Only by allowing it to control you can you be controlled.
...What am I saying?...
Anyways, happy to see a new person on their feet there. Just remember... everything you believe is an assumption.
This is pretty good; I tend to phrase things in such a dichotomy because that's the language that abounds around me, but I don't personally believe in that dichotomy. I didn't get it across very well in the bit about the writers and their dichotic view of the publishing industry, but what I meant was that I see both sides - I prefer to write for myself, but I also want to give that writing to the world.
As for the chemicals in my brain, I do very much embrace them. But I don't want to be controlled by them. It's similar to the argument of, "Too much of a good thing is a bad thing," although I don't really believe in good and bad as separate or as having a definition or as being real, for that matter. I was actually having this conversation with my mother last night - she pointed out the very same thing you did, about seeing how both the logical and the emotional are important and should be embraced. I fully agree with this idea - but it is very much about balance, and as it stands I find myself struggling. Most of the worst times of my life happen because I let myself be run by the chemicals. I've almost made some very bad mistakes in my life because of those chemicals. I suppose what I was trying to say is that...I want to be the one in charge; I want to be able to say when I give into the chemicals, and when I give into the logic. Love is a chemical; I'm all for giving into love. Fear is a useful chemical that tells you when something is dangerous, like the fear of sticking your hand into a fire or the fear of swimming too far out into the ocean and drowning; but I don't need to be afraid of things that I don't need to be afraid of - like all the people I see around me who are terrified of the future and the state of politics and how our society is turning into 1984 or Nazi Germany - both of those things have been quoted to me recently as worlds we're turning into. I don't need that fear. And I don't need to borrow drama that's not mine to borrow, but I'm very susceptible to it. Less so now than I was before, but I have given into major drama spins before and it's taken me a long time to reach a point where I can say, "No, I don't need to do that because all it does is hurt me, and hurt my world." Hate is another emotion that I feel instinctively, and I don't like that emotion. I would like to mostly get rid of it - and I feel the way for me to do that is to reach a point where I can logically look at someone I "hate" and say, "Why do I hate this person? What do I know about him/her? What is causing this person to act or say things I don't like? How much more is there to this person that I don't know? I can't truly say that I hate this person; perhaps they're snide to me and to people I like, sure, but what is causing them to be like that and can I assume that the only aspect of their personality is this snideness?" I basically want to be in control of what I feel, rather than letting the emotions run me completely. It's not a bad thing to let emotions run you completely...it's one way to live your life. But in this life, I want to know what is causing me to feel certain things and I want to be able to overcome feelings that I don't want to feel. And I don't want to be run completely by my chemicals. It's just...how I want to life this life. I want more of a balance between the logical and the emotional.
I hope that makes sense! It is sometimes hard for me to fully explain what I mean to say.
"I was raised as if I was an adult in a small body that maybe couldn't understand full adult vocabulary, but was still able to comprehend the underlying ideas. I feel blessed to have been raised as such. I feel that I'm a better person for it." --Rayviathae Neszoamria
Being talked to like a competent adult as a child builds a very smart child. =)
My mother was very smart to do so =) Though, it was my father who suggested it to her. That was his parenting advice. "They're just adults in little people bodies." She picked up on it pretty quickly.