Lately my mind has been tortured by its constant knowing of itself and everything it does. This is causing me to interrogate myself over absolutely EVERYTHING. I mean everything. It is so loud (or otherwise so distantly quiet) that I go through an entire barrage of reasons why/ why not/ is this even useful/ do I REALLY want this for something as simple as trying to figure out what video game I want to relax with for a bit.Might go something like this: "I kind of feel like wasting some time in Sims 2... But how will I play?... there has to be a set of rules... no there doesn't... but if there isn't, how do i know my goal?... there is no goal, you're just trying to play a video game... but a video game is really just a waste of time, you really should spend your time trying to make money out of your talents?... how do i do that?... I don't know... well then stop bugging me!... But what if I'm right? How do you know what is truy right? What does your Yoga book say about it?... there's nothing in my yoga book about sims 2 this is crazy... well, you need to be doing everything according to your yoga, so there should be some metaphor you can apply..."This is 24-7 non-stop. I am starting to withdraw from speaking or being myself because I simply can't figure out which voice is me in my brain. I'm resorting to complete apathy most of the time because making a decision is simply too hard... I don't know how long this has been going on now, but I am finally desperate enough to ask for help.I try mantra, but then I start arguing with myself about which mantra to use, and you can guess how that turns out.

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  • i call it a voice...ofcourse it is not a voice i hear...then i would be in trouble...it is more like a buzz...like pictures...like...annyways...it is different then that nagging voice i have against myself...lol
  • Yeah, I have this crazy voice chatterbox going on in my head at times. It's completely nuts and is always contradicting itself...I guess you could say. Then I hear the subtle clear voice that tells the truth. It's more centered and I think that's the one we need to pay attention to..most of that distracting crap I try and just ignore and it's gotten better. I think focusing and meditation is excellent in dealing with this. Simple breathing meditations will help greatly. Yeah this has been bothering me for a while but has gotten much better yet still finds its way in at times... sigh
    • That is what i mean Joseph,that calm voice is getting more and more bussy...lol...i have no bad feeling about it,,and like you say it is there telling the truth.But to live by it is kind of weird and not at all eazy,especially in this transition world as it is today.I geuss the feeling of emergency comes from the fact that i try to avoid it most of the time,and that gets me confused.Becouse i was the one who manny years ago asked for help with my life,and here it is helping me and i am totaly surprised my request was granted.So for me it is almost to good to be truth and we al know how that goes...we want to prove it wrong...lol.But i am getting the hang of it more than before.The backslasches are harder and deeper then before so i try to minimize rocking the boat.This is why we tend to block and kind of have no idea of wheter we should or not do something,i think.
  • We here got the same thing going on,it seems we are not able to do things half way or totally wrong without the voice talking and telling us what to do so things go right and smoothly.It seems we can not even remake the same mistakes as dumb as they may seem. I want to relax like you and there it is telling me stuf from the universe and how it wil be and what to do to do best etc etc.I am not even talking about the sense of emergency that i have all day long,like i am supossed to be ready at al times(at least mentally,be in the right state of mind)...
    • It's a bit traumatizing isn't it? I also have the sense of urgency, but at the same time some kind of calculated emotionlessness... What the hell are we supposed to do with ourselves, then?
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