I want to share a story of loss with you all.
Someone really precious to me killed himself 3 months ago. He had a lot of trouble in this world, always feeling that something was off and that he didn't belong. He tried everything to be 'human' damaging his body and psyche in the process. The day before, some strong sadness struck me. I keeled over feeling strong waves of sadness and pain. Astrally, that night my same feeling of not belonging was fully explained to me, my memories of coming here had fully come back to me. Everything.
That morning, some strong happiness struck me. I was walking around my house, singing to this light body that had come to visit me all day. I didn't find it odd, because it was emanating a strong feeling of love. Whatever it was, was so happy. I had to pump myself up also. In my mind, I was possibly setting myself up for a huge rejection that in the past 3 months I have received from all but one of my friends, who is also a starseed.
The enormity of telling someone I remember you, we chose to come here together. How could I tell him? No matter the cost, I felt I had to share this knowledge. So I went on facebook to make plans to meet with him, and his wall was full of RIP messages...
A few days ago my facebook account and computer were hacked and remotely taken over. For the privacy of my friends and myself I have deleted my facebook today. Again this same feeling of loss is washing over me in waves. I can never access his memorial page again, but there is one in my heart. His smiling face will never fade from my memory.
I don't mind the loneliness, In fact I prefer to be alone most of the time. Thank you for taking the time to come visit me and fill me with light and love. I will remain here, and finish our mission.
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Replies
sorry to hear of your friend's death. So he was a starseed? What were some of the things that bothered him?
sometimes i myself feel like giving up because i have this overwhelming feeling of sadness and loneliness. I am longing
for a home. Although, I think i am being selfish sometimes cause I have a wonderful 4 year old daughter that I love so much. But the sense of not belonging here and trying to fit into what everyone considers normal, is difficult for me. I know I choose to come for a specific purpose, but I question why i thought that i could fulfill my mission here on earth in the first place. When now i feel like a stranger in a strange land.
the whole idea of this world bothered him, like everything about it.
Its OK to feel lonely and sad, when you are surrounded by so many (excuse my french) fuckwits fighting over bountiful energy including yours.
I might not be able to help much, mostly working on art in front of this computer. so if you ever wanna chat here I am.
I have overwhelming feelings come over me often too and I find it difficult at times too,
it would great if we could all meet up regular for chats coffee, but we are all scattered all over the globe, so unless we come up with supersonic jets to take us to each homes we will have to do with technology, xxxxxx
yeah coffee would be awesome, I know this great little astral shop lol
I am new here as well.
I am sorry to hear of your loss, its very sad to feel this pain ........