Well this may be a tall order, but I'm trying to understand the male psyche LOL !!!
First up I want to say that I am the first to object when people try to put people in boxes according to their gender, and I get so sick of all the attention focused on how men and women are supposedly soooo different.
On the other hand I am a person who likes to make sense of things, and I like to understand patterns that I observe.
I have made some observations which have led me to some tentative conclusions, and I would like to test these ideas by asking you all some questions.
Ok, here goes:
(in these questions I am talking about romantic/partner love)
1) How do you experience love? How do you know if you love someone? What are the emotional/physical/sexual/other signals that indicate to you that you love someone?
2) Once you have loved someone, do you always love them? Or can you stop loving someone?
3) If you can stop loving someone, how does this occur? And how do you know if you don't love someone anymore?
Looking forward to hearing your responses : )
Replies
1).
When you bend over backwards for her even when she dosent seem to be bothered... its when you give and give and give and dont expect a thing in return - only her love .. its when you finaly get off your ass and find yourself under the sink with a spanner in your hand fixing the dripping pipe she's been banging on about for ages.. and you do it with a smile on your face even when she dosent even notice whether its fixed or not.. but you dont care at that stage..
its when you go out of your way for her even if it almost breaks your Spirit, its when you find yourself in tears on park benches or wandering the streets feeling about as lonley as a fart in a spacesuit because there's been yet another misunderstanding .. its when you miss her deeper than she will ever know, even though you my be two feet in front of her.. and your heart feels it like an old clock about to burst its springs -
its when you hide the tears but when you really want her to see how much you love her by sobbing in her arms.. its when she sheds her tears and you feel that you could just die for her.. that you love her so much that you may even die for her.. the pain in the heart is too much.. its when you notice time and time again how really sensitive she is in the company of others that compells you to quietly want her in your own arms.. its when you think of her when she is not around and the thoughts of longing to be with her merge with thoughts of the Heavens and how much earthly time you have together..
its when you travel alone and wish she was with you even though you've both been at each others wick for years.. when she drives you up the wall but that you are always melting into her eyes in your own thoughts.. its when you notice other couples walking in Love through parks and city streets and it brings a lump to your throat - its when the same thing happens when you are both light hearted together and you see other loving couples.. if you feel heartache at that moment - then you are in Love with her and nothing can tear you apart .. its when you both make Love after the longest period of celibacy and feel the strongest heart connection when sex is involved..its when you know that no matter what differences you both have, no matter how far apart you seem to be on so many levels.. polar oppisites - when she asks you with all her heart to hold her - then hold her.. with all of your heart.
Its when you understand a womans needs.. when you can tell her what she needs to hear.. compromise.. when you can touch her in the gentle way that she craves.. a woman needs to be Loved and so you love her.. with all of your heart.. she needs to be reassured and so you find ways to reassure her.. its when you bring her into your heart and hope to God that she stays there.. when you become a child and can only see ther Spirit in her eyes.. its when you are there for her when she needs you.. to nourish her, to make her laugh.. its when she makes you laugh and in the laughter there is even a tiny moment of heartache.. because you Love her.. you Love her.. more than you know.
2).
Does the feeling fade? I think sometimes people come and go.. there is a brief fling perhaps, a small amount of time when you both fall head over heels for each other.. and after about 4 weeks you notice something about the person that dosent fit the equasion haha.. and so yeah.. it fades.. and becomes a distant memory. In real Love, I feel the stimulus gets worn a little, and so both parties find hobbies or other interests to occupy their mind.. but deep down.. they both know that they would run to each other..
3).
I dont know how to answer this one.. although I would think if you dont Love someone anymore, then you know that feeling that arises and you just .. your heart will let you know.. either you meet someone new who blows you away (quite literally in some cases) and you begin to loose interest in the former lover.. whereby all your energy begins to focus on the new person, who may turn out to be the new partner.. and then you have a whole load of stuff to go through with the newby :)
Merryn.. each to their own I guess... hope this helps.. I dont really know.
I think the main reason polyamory doesn't work very well in 3D is that 3D love is generally conditional. Therefore most people do not feel 100% secure in their partner's love (for good reason), which gives rise to jealousy if their partner shows interest in anyone else.
By the way, you are still young, so please don't be concerned about not having experienced love yet. I didn't truly love someone (unconditionally) until I was about 28. As we continue on our spiritual journey it becomes easier and easier to love unconditionally, and it becomes more and more natural to love EVERYONE unconditionally.
I love that photo you posted too - very inspiring... I hope we can all find someone who still loves us passionately when we're old and grey...
We give them sperm, they give us a family!
We give them a house, They give us a home!
We give them a smile, They give us their hearts!
We give them groceries, They cook us a lovely meal!
We give them crap, They give us a TON of shit!
Not all men are the same as has already been stated! I for one am not into frivolous one-night stands, no strings attached, wham bam thank you m'am flings, and as Leo has mentioned, there are women who get annoyed and some even get violent when you're not interested in just hopping into bed and doing the deed. Maybe they feel insecure about themselves thinking there's something wrong with them cos you won't "get down", but what they fail to understand is that some men would like to get to know them on a deeper, personal & emotional level as well, treat them and appreciate them for the women they are and not just as objects of lust and carnal pleasures!!
Either you love someone or you don't.
You can't love everyone....you can be nice however.
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