I study psychology so I usually keep stum about ny "abnormal" feelings and experiences I have in order to avoid being called mentally unstable. But there is something I do not understand. I have been experiencing something my fellow psychologists call "depersonalization disorder". Its when you leave your body and reality for a while but are still classed as sane. Its as if you are suddenly aware that you exist. Its what I call the holy moment. You become one with... I dont know with what you become one! It just feels like you loose your body and merge with the universe. It is very very scary and I absolutely hate it because I do not have an explanation for it. People who go through this need a strong stimuli to bring them back to ordinary life. Like loud music, pain or people around them. I wanted to know if any one here has experienced the same and maybe tell me what happens when I let it take over me? Will I go mad or will something great happen?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder Thats the disorders description
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I always had an interest in Phychology, and was going to go for a degree, until the Universe sent me a very wise man. He said:
"Don't do it. Very soon Psychology will not be making much sense to anyone, and the field will faid off. Dig DEEPER...."
Psychology for the most part is based on logic and reasoning. Human being are MUCH more then all that, MUCH deeper. Explore the field of spiritual philosophy and metaphysics. What is happening to you is simply simptoms of awakening to your TRUE Self. Everything else has been an illusion, but nevertheless - an important part of you Path. Listen to your inner voices, inquire within for any guidance, and watch, listen, observe.. Remain aware. Dont suppress any feelings and emotions - let them flow through you, watch and observe them... As that is all you are - an OBSERVER. You are not your mind, not your feelings not your emotions, not your fear... You are the ALL. Manifesting through your body. Now is when the interesting part starts. :) Welcome to TRUTH... Know you are loved and supported always. Its gonna be an amazing ride... <3
I had a (Yin) Yoga workshop recently by Kim Eng and she said to someone "there's nothing wrong with you" (like it's just between you and your awakening-process). Also, like Eckhart Tolle teaches, stay with your breath :) I'm practicing this, because it's the only real thing I can always count on.
Lots of Love and Blessings!
I can only smile, for those whom have degree's in area's that are threatened need to go through the veil of "knowing" what we know. Then disregard concepts that were a part of our training. I had all the training necessary for education plus degrees in biology and physical science. I took great concentration to get past that which I had taught for years when I started my awakening.
Actually, I seemed to know what was happening from the beginning as I was always near the door. However on two occasions, reality seemed to slip or blink in and out. One time, I stopped working outside, came in and told my wife, I needed to concentrate and take a break as reality was slipping. Go with what is happening, I have seen my light body when taken out or body, I have been given information of sorts if I can sort it out and it is an exciting thing. For the moment after severe vibrations etc. things are calm and this is reported by others as well, but expect it to start anew. At present, I am getting the message to start again the search.
Assia,
Your psychologist does not know what he or she is talking about. The phase "depersonalizaion disorder" is something somebody with a theory and an advanced degree concocted out of whole cloth because they lacked the experience to truly understand the depths of either their own minds and/or their own souls. If you are on a sincere spiritual path, you might want to consider taking everything that comes from Western Psychology with a grain of salt. The spiritual energy and consciousness on the planet today is becoming very refined and very powerful. That is why there is so much upheaval around the world. The uncountable impurities spawned by a civilization based on the intellect and existing for consumerism can no longer exist in this uplifted atmosphere, and is coming to an abrupt end. Hence all the pain. In this scenario of evolving energy, Western Psychology, devoid as it is of real spiritual substance, will not be of much help insofar as interpreting or assisting with subtle spiritual experiences. Sit down, be still, and listen to your own heart - not your therapist friend.
Your feelings and experiences are in no way abnormal. Quite the contrary. Those experiences are very common among sincere spiritual seekers (and finders). You are having classic symptoms of the ego-mind becoming aware of Infinite Beingness. And the ego-mind is always absolutely threatened - terrified by a clear, direct realization of the infinite vastness of Beingness. It is your mind that is frightened, not your Real Self. Your mind can't deal with it because the mind, all minds, are very limited, and begin to freak when they are introduced to that which is actually, tangibly REAL and present (ONE BEINGNESS). Oneness is Reality. The ego-mind is not and never could be actually real. When you grow to accept that, the experience no longer scary - it becomes exceedingly fulfilling.
In some circles they would say that your chakra system, especially your crown chakra is beginning to open up. It's referred to as the awakening of the Kundalini energy that resides at the base of the spine. It is the activation of the Kundalini that contributes to the death of the ego. Many great spiritual Masters talk about the death of the ego as being a necessary prelude to the Realiation of Oneness - Enlightenment.
Now, if that opening is not balanced by a simultaneous opening of the heart chakra, then the experience may be a bit unbalanced and the person may be left with a feeling of overwhelming strangeness - because the experience is filtered through the mind without any balanced interpretation from the heart.
Seek out someone who truly understands Kundalini Energy, stay away from academic and psychological interpretations, and trust your own experience (after all, you know what it is - The Oneness of the Holy Instant).
Your experience is real, valid, and not uncommon. Within it is the seed of Enlightenment. The real deal. Do not run from that very intense and intimidating experience. Embrace it. All of it. Do not resist it or what it has to show you. Love it - and by loving it, someday soon it will show you it's true face in Love.
And by the way, myself and one of my Great Spiritual Teachers, have had similar experiences many years ago (40 years ago approx.). Over time and with Love you will understand the beauty and majesty of your described experiences.
Hope this helps a little,
In Friendship,
Blaze
Dear Assia,
Please find a link to this disorder as foolws:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder
http://www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/depersonalization_disorder.htm
http://www.minddisorders.com/Del-Fi/Depersonalization-disorder.html
I hope these help.
Namaste
Martin