I have been with my partner for a little over 4 years. During that period we have been tested on a daily basis. I have not been faithful to her, I have damaged her beyond belief with my actions. She is the one that has helped me centre back to my Self. My personality had been fragmented into different Alters due to my horrendous upbringing with Masonic links. I had at least 3 prominent shadows that she attempted to heal me from. I believe that they disbanded and remanifested in the numerous alters that I had been programmed to assimilate as. I love this woman more than life itself, after my beautiful son, committed suicide on November 5 2009, I have been trying to heal and take a positive from his mortal death. My alters have made me destroy certain ornaments of my partners, and also physically attack her. I have come along way I believe and know within myself, yet she cannot see it. I regret everything that I have done in my past and what has been done to me. I know that it was not my true SELF that has been in control when they have come for me. I always told her to give me a hug when I tell her its the "Real ME" that she is seeing. It will stop the 4th Dimensional attacks. I padlock myself into the Garage Shed every night, not wanting to venture out, as I cannot stand the energies of others anymore. I have had sexual intercouse very little during our relationship. That does not concern me much anymore, as activation of my Kundalini is what I wish to attain. However I feel that the union of conscious energy and love that is created when we do is out of this world. I feel cheapened after we have, as when we fight over trivial matters it is thrown in my face. The very basic art of understanding human nature through Esoterical knowledge of MK ULTRA or its affiliate programmes, I feel is driving a huge wedge between us. I do not think it is healthy for us to use it on eachother. Any help or suggestions as to how I can heal this rift would be most welcomed. After my son took his life, I thought it might be a good idea if my partners 2 children went and lived with their father. I have the past constantly thrown at me, and it destroys me with guilt. As a Lightworker, and Iam a Light Warrior, should I prevail with what is fast becoming a toxic relationship, as she views me as Dark, where as I believe she is being used against me. She is blinded to seeing the real me. I cannot be held captive through guilt anymore. All I want to do is put my arms around her and tell her I love her. I know she loves me and I have put her through hell. She has wanted me to heal for so long, she has been a member on this site for over a year. I as a Nordic Grey have come here to expunge the lies and dissent that is spouted by those agents of the dark. There are individuals on here that work for the Dark Cabal and will be exposed. The illumination of Truth will shine forth through the energies that will manifest within the collective consciousness. The portals of Ascenscion are going to be manipulated by those that are working with the Draco Reptillians, and wish to keep the war with Orion ongoing. Myself and my Twin Flame have come to far to be blocked at the Portal. As an outside Portal Worker I will be doing my utmost to stop the 4th Dimensional attacks from the Greys under the command of General Drago. They will come through the wormholes of Angles, we must not venture near the Angles, use the Curves it is the safer way. So what I want to know from the Truly Enlightened Ones is how to break the 4th Dimensional attacks that are attempting to block my Ascension and my Twin Flames?
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Hi folks, Hi nordic, thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I can speak with direct experience as my partner has been doing almost the exact same things for a little while now and for the past two weeks I focused on nothing but unconditionally loving her and forgiving her and myself of everything.
It has practically overnight, healed my relationship with my female partner.
And I would say all is not a test per say, it is more to bring up energies within us to look at and transmute into unconditional love and forgiveness.
All that happens is for a purpose and a beneficial purpose to our growth, even though it may not appear that way sometimes.
If one can stay absolutely neutral in emotion, thought and action, these energies coming up (tests) will dissolve away.
I know where your coming from about not wanting to go out around others energies, though sometimes it is for the benefit of others, that we go out, in close proximity and shine our light at them to help heal them.
peace love light
Quilt does not excist Beloved One, only a judgement of self.
Sending you both violet flame and loads of Compassion
Forgive eatchother and yourself. All is good
Ascenscion is happening
A person can only put up with abuse for so long. I can offer no answers.
I take life at face value and am not afraid to say what I feel.
since you decided to make this a public dispute and a quite despicable considering that partner(s) is a member here and could defend actions, I'll give you an advice : heal your self before you point fingers at others or as it seems so far from your posts.
he says, she says seems so far. You 2 either try hard to salvage what you had( or ever had ) or choose seperate path.
the sending children away part is shameful for both involved.
if it is a test during the shift
or
if it is that you need to break from an attack
then the best thing to do i reckon is chill out . tension and fear coincide and there does sound like theres lots of trauma /tension in your frame
breath quietly in nature. let go into trust.
feel the fact that you are not alone.
reflect on the fact that light always wins through effortlessly
maybe check out those holographic healing thingies mentioned by feather winger
best of luck matey
sending you prayers in light now
loved
enjoy