Being utterly comfortable with who you are now is crucially important. Like a scratch that turns septic, when you feel a sense of dissonance about any aspect of your true self you risk a dangerous deepening of that wound.

Experiencing self-respect is invaluable. Without it people tend to try to be like someone else and this never works well. Instead it deepens the distress as individuals inevitably fail to meet with their perceived ideal and simultaneously extend the distance from their authentic self.  

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The corollary to this is that in seeking then seeing the self-respect each individual deserves there is an opportunity to grow exponentially. When you reach to respect the essence of yourself you’re supporting your growing capacity to become even more than you might previously have imagined.

The thing is we’re all in a state of becoming from the point at which we are right now. We’ve all absorbed a range of experiences from birth and beyond that are the challenges we must face. No one has exactly the same challenges as you and in turn no person could meet your challenges as well as you will.

One phenomenon that can confront our potential for self-love is criticism. Remember that some criticism is entirely ignorant of the circumstances you face. You need to step away from these people and places lest they bring you down to their level.

Sometimes criticism sticks because there is a little or a lot with the criticism that has relevance to your growth. Where you can allow yourself to accept the idea as information that you can own and use insightfully your strength will uplift you.  

It’s also of great value to extend that same wisdom and respect to others. Just as being criticised by others can undermine your positive sense of yourself, expressing your jealousy or shame by putting others down asserts your own moribund stagnancy.      

No matter what your community, family or friends are doing, you need to follow what your heart is encouraging you to do and believe in its direction.

You are a unique and infinitely valuable individual just as you are. No person can do as well as you at being you. As you embrace your fullest current reality your progress towards the person you might prefer to be is vastly enhanced.

Martin Hunter Jones is an honorary member of the Australian Counselling Association.

thank you angel :) !!!!