Over the years I have collected a couple thousand books filling all walls of my house.
When people at my age asked me why I would only ride old cars, I used to say, my Mercedes Benz is on shelves.
I was always very rigid to my students when I demanded an essay. I wanted them to read all possible stuff.
I have no tv nor a dvd player. I have all my life read books and articles. And I have written countless pages.
I say not that this was senseless. Rather I say I have wasted much time in reading much senseless stuff.
A year ago I got a stroke which changed all my life. Now I see clearly that collecting knowledge is similar like collecting money or other stuff. It is a form of wanting to have rather than to be.
I discovered that being is more important than having. I have no love, but I am love. Actually I have nothing of any worth and value. But I am part of God.
Maybe reading many books is a transitory thing. It is in fact not essential.
It is amazing, how many spiritual people ride the horse of special knowledge - some emphasize sacred geometry, some symbols, some merkabah stuff and so ad infinitum.
This is not bad at all, but it is not essential. Essential is the opposite - letting go.
Now nobody is telling from people becoming stupid or people denying knowledge. Knowledge is always good. But getting aware is transcending knowledge which is hard to describe.
It happens while letting go of all efforts. It is not without any effort, but it happens while letting go. You enter the status of being rather than having knowledge. Later you will discover that some knowledge is really preventing you from getting aware. And some knowledge comes back to your mind while getting aware.
I see every day that I lost much of my brain`s work because of my stroke. I`m often tired and forget things. And I must more often ask for things than in former times. Once in a while I hate myself for my fragility.
On the other hand I am aware of what is happening like never before. I can feel the spirit in a human and his work. I simply know things now which I was struggling to know in former times.
I write those lines in order to encourage those who think they do not know much, those who think they need a special knowledge in order to go the path of enlightment and awareness. Forget it. There is no special knowledge needed. Never was and never will be.
You must face life and reality with all that you really have - you yourself as you are. And then you will see in your kind, in your special kind and your time...
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