Acceptance cont'd...
Here is an example of positive acceptance. Your mate has just yelled at you for not helping with chores and caught you off guard because all they had to do was ask. First we need to forgive them before we react so we try to see an attribute or anything positive about them and love that attribute. (Yes this requires discipline). We then try and embrace their current aggressive state by embracing our feelings which would be confusion or defensiveness or both by transmuting the confusion to (for example) openness and you could picture yourself opening up to hear and talk about the true issue upsetting your mate. In this moment one is being truly accepting and in this state you have the option of boundary setting but perhaps now it would not occur in an angered response. Perhaps your mate will feel the energy of your acceptance and ease up. If not, you will be able to save your energy because you will know you are trying in your heart.
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