Spiritual Forum

Replies

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  turtles August 18, 2011 at 8:14pm

  I believe that life is to short for dysfunctional relationships.....When people are in abusive relationships it does something to the mind, women get used to being beaten down.......it destructs the self esteem

   

  I do believe people come into our lives for a reason and we grow and change and become healthier, and sometimes certain relationships spur us to change in ways we never thought possible.....

   

  there are seven billion people on this planet and sometimes

  you have to cut ties with people because it is self preservation

   

  thank you tentinyturtles
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  Kelly Rhys July 23, 2011 at 5:44am

  I am fresh out of a relationship just like this. We grew up going to the same schools since we were little, our brothers on the same baseball team at the time, had crushes on each other in high school, and fate had us meet up by chance at a friend's several years later. The beginning of the relationship we were very smitten, he was so sweet, polite and we were sure we were going to be married and have a future together. People would come up to us and just say what a wonderful couple we made. We made each other beam and laugh.

  Gradually I saw he had anger problems. I would excuse them..it made me very confused bc it was very different from the person I had first fallen in love with. He would gradually get worse. I would say or ask something and he would be defensive and angry and I didnt understand why.  It was like stepping on eggshells at times and scared he would blow up and get mad at me and I would feel regret and blame myself. I realized I couldnt fully be myself bc of this now. He'd cross boundaries by disrespecting me and acting violent and I'd leave. He would say hes sorry and wont do it again and I would believe him. Soon after, actions would still speak louder than words.

  We found we were having a baby last yr.  He got worse during my pregnancy and I often felt alone,he was having a "mid life crisis" and realized hes no longer going to be out with his friends as much as he wanted anymore in the future and just went out and left me home. He said this would change after the baby got here but after a year, hasn't stepped to the plate much as a dad and his anger got worse. I had him change his diaper one night and our son cries and squirms. He got so frustrated he threw our sons legs down aggressively and my protective mother instincts came out and told him he better not handle my son that way and he got in my face and threatened me, took one of my favorite bags and tore it up. After time away to myself I thought long and hard, thinking about why I put up with this? I was holding on to that dream we had together in the beginning, thinking it was still possible and still there and that person I met was still there, in there somewhere.

  Anyone who treats you as a doormat to release his anger or frustration has a selfish heart. I was being distracted trying to make sense of his confusing antics and being emotionally drained and lost sight of my spiritual path and myself period. He is not at all spiritual and he was holding me back from my spiritual journey... our path did not feel "right" anymore and served its purpose to bring this soul into the world(I found in meditation that was our karmic tie to one another) and to learn about boundaries and what real love does and what it doesn't do. Women like you and I have big hearts and it is bc we are caring we put up with more than we should. We are a million dollars being confused as pennies with men like this and it is bc we stay they feel they can do it more. They have internal issues to address and get help with but it is not our job to fill. My best advice is to let him go. Whatever your lesson and purpose for the relationship, try to think hard or meditate about but pls realize it is a passing learning experience. If you have any questions pls feel free to msg me on here. Your story sounds all too familiar and I feel for everything you are going through sister. All the best love, xoxoxo
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    Ali > Kelly Rhys July 30, 2011 at 7:11am

    Waw,  yes, i feel you.  Thanks for sharing your experience..... Im glad to hear that through meditation you found your confidence back and you stood up and saw the light and u got aware rather than wander in pain you know?  I am aware aswell of many things... I think we as spiritual beings who come into this life as "sensitive souls" have a hard time into standing up to the world... yes, we care too much but you all are right,... it is time for the lesson to be learned...i need to learn to care about me first and my needs.  Ahhh....i can let him go... we are waiting a few things get fixed so he can leave (money for his ticket)  he is still confused like, one day he wants to leave and then the other day he doesnt want to leave... when he gets angry he wants to leave again and Oh boy... even if he doesnt want to leave i KNOW it is best for him to leave.. we are not compatible and i cant deal with his rollercoaster emotions of not being emotionally stable...it drains and annoys me...and all this stress is holding my spirituality behind...and i know it is my fault because i kept forgiving and i didnt listen to my inner voice.  Thank u so much... Im guna add u as a friend. Namaste
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  Kelly Lightchalice July 22, 2011 at 6:03pm

  Oh Ali, I wish you happiness and joy... I hope you discover what is motivating this relationship so that you both can heal.  I do not have a lot to offer on top of the most excellent advice given here... but I imagine that you have set yourself up for this "lesson" so that you may grow into higher understanding before you ascend.  We always give ourselves the hardest, most important lessons...and often resolve Karma while we are at it. 

  Once you both have learned what you can from each other then you will find that letting go is much easier.  And no judgement here, but at your age you have your whole life ahead of you.... he should know by now that he should be nurturing you and not taking out his frustrations upon you. 

  And I'm very sorry to say this, but as we get closer to 2012 its going to be increasingly difficult for him to hold it together... he doesn't have your Lightworker faith to lift himself up so he is going to vampirize you and be afraid- and afraid people are angry people.  I'm just warning you... but please don't think I want you to be afraid.  You are very strong and loved, and you will be fine- don't feel bad for others who make poor choices.  They have the same options you do, only choose their ego over God. 

  Wishing you all the best, I hope you find what you are looking for :)
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    Ali > Kelly Lightchalice July 22, 2011 at 6:13pm

    Thank you 1happykelly.    I'm working to see how i can finish this as peaceful as possible without any harm coming from his side.   Namaste
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      Kelly Lightchalice > Ali July 22, 2011 at 10:19pm

      I understand, and its hard for kind people to see others suffering, he must be hurting to behave so and to not have lived his life successfully (not being independent at thirty plus)... so it's hard for you to enjoy your own life and feel happy without feeling guilty. 

      You'll work it out, I have faith in you... it sounds as if you are strong in Light, and that's all you really need.  I've found that once you dedicate your life to service, then all things flow for you... its their way of making sure you aren't distracted from your "job" of making the world a better place. 

      Good luck, hun, we're here for you :)
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        Ali > Kelly Lightchalice July 30, 2011 at 7:01am

        Thank you 1HappyKelly! You are a kind Soul.... i feel like i can relate to you... thank u....  Your words give me more faith and strength.  Appreciate it deeply. Namaste
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    BlueSky~Valerie > Kelly Lightchalice July 22, 2011 at 6:06pm

    very nice 1HappyKelly
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  BlueSky~Valerie July 22, 2011 at 4:46pm

  oh and the #'s, Doreen Virtue says:  111 - Monitor your thoughts carefully, and be sure to only think about
  > what you want, not what you don't want. This sequence is a sign that
  > there is a gate of opportunity opening up, and your thoughts are
  > manifesting into form at record speeds. The 111 is like the bright
  > light of a flashbulb.
  > It means that the universe has just taken a snapshot of your thoughts
  > and is manifesting them into form. Are you pleased with what thoughts
  > the universe has captured? If not, correct your thoughts (ask your
  > angels to help you with this if you have difficult controlling or
  > monitoring your thoughts).
  
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  BlueSky~Valerie July 22, 2011 at 3:25pm

  Hi Ali,

  good topic. Relationhips help us to see ourselves, in this time line we are still breaking or trying to break up patterns left over from past life relationships. The partner is a mirror, without a partner we are often not able to see things that need to change and or be let go of within ourselves.

  I can Understand your confusion, but only because I have been there done that ALOT.  But your confusion is not that you are confused it is that you are trying to see what this man is saying and the actions do not match. that can be/feel very confusing. But what needs to be known is that you are not here to be abused nor used.

  This mirror is saying I am abusive and you are taking it because you believe you are helping me, what hes saying is I'll say or do anything that will keep you hooked.

  Your not confused, your trying to see something that is not there.

  Also it doesn't matter what  another person says or does, but that you have clear boundries, boundries such as I am a child of God, I am a lightworker, I do not deserve to be abused no matter what, this does not feel good, and makes no sense.And....as a lightworker, when I help people it feels good, the end result is good!!!!!

  This, the anger, abusiveness, is this guys problem "not yours". We are not here to fix or put up with anyones crap.

  The problem here is not him, its you and what you will tolerate from another being.

  This is about boundries, and self love. And....knowing that real love does not hurt!

  We are experiencing many Karmic relationships at the moment so that we can see where we need to change our own perspective.

  It is hard when you are a gentle caring person, who does not have a balanced center core, which the relationship is trying to show you.

  This is just one more step to your own empowerment, and you may be tested again to see if you have learned this lesson.

  Love & BlessingsValerie