I have come along long way to here and wonder now what i can do. how do i serve? i wish to see myself in a world of wonders dancing with beings of light and love. i want to share myself completely and be accepted fully for who i am. I am that i am. I am the observer of my reality.
I find myself dipping back into things i was almost sure i had released because i was certain it did not serve me. i think in some way the universe is teaching me how to use my sight of conciousness to release fully the degraded thoughts of completion. what i mean is that until i can really experience that which doesn't serve me then can i kno what i am truly releasing. certain things are taking on odd forms for me lately and its hard to decipher the coding to find the source. I might be taking on alot from other people lately and it s being processed by old channels of mine i want to completely iradicate. I find myself taking on others energy alot. it's in my nature but it isn't always beneficial for me. i believe i need to clear myself and stay clear for others so that i can help the energy in turmoil. simple i guess.
It almost seems that when i have cleared myself and am fully energized that if i do not use this energy to energize others my energy level disapates. almost like if i'm selfish with the energy it closes down. It almost seems that i should be more focused on my outside world more than my inner being. maybe i have fallen short by thinkin it good to be so focused on the health of my being that it has become a distraction from the reality of health. If i work to perfect my body does that make the world around me anymore perfect. It might make a difference but i think it is just as strong or stronger to apply yourself at the same time of your healthy practice. I think in my last relationship i was targeted for being selfish for taking time for myself in respects to my spiritual health. It was a battle and ultimetly was the reason for breakup.This might be why i feel a slight guilt in taking time for healing myself and supplying my energies instead of serving others. i must find a balance and i am calling out to the universe to help me find ways to supply my health and the wellbeing of others at the same time.
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So there is no need to force yourself it goes naturaly...
I am wondering if is hould go and sit in the midlle of the desert, and realy see for shure that i am al love and light.
Only there in solitude will one know one self. Find and test it all the time is no use, every time you think you are inlightened and on the right track...something comes up that distracts you.
In the desert there is you and you.