sat between two chairs ?

This is a french saying : having one's butt between two chairs.My relationship with Spirituality ( in general ) can be very easily summed up. I first believed in God ( in a christian way - the most easily reachable paradigm at that time ) because I were scared - I assume now that we all need a way to get our first seed grounded, and if I needed to go through such dark times, that's fine. Obviously, when Life offered me peaceful and joyful days my relationship with God decreased and althought I sure were still respectful to my own Faith I wasn't really practising.But comes a time when suffering no longer arises from everyday life's stumbles because you know that God ( in a more 'Oneness' paradigm that time ) works in mysterious ways, but suffering arises from Life itself because you crave for a meaning, for a Feeling to cure your own personal metaphysical wanders.It's been some fresh air at first to discover all the channels, all the insights, all the meaningful and powerful dreams that looked like a big bright door to open to enter new realms of Light and Peace. But this is the way the world goes : the difference is tight between opening a door to enter a room, or opening a door to leave a room. Most of us indeed had periods when we lost interest in these matters and went back to what we'd call '3D Life' because when you Fall in Love with someone/something you don't do it to forget your past/failed love, you just do it : you just fall in love - otherwise you be damn sure that you'll have to walk the same path once again until you learn your lesson.I'm a young man, still holding memories that seem beyond my age and feelings that feel beyond my gender. This very day I walked the sweet streets of my lovely southern France city and i felt melancholy ... and this is the feeling I want to talk about : everyone sure is pressured, over(over!)-emotionnal and stuffs but there's something else : we feel ( don't you ? ) we miss something and we're unable to really get what it is. Is the world/energies changing ? Aren't we gonna miss it, after all ? Yesterday's sores are being transmuted & healed and the FULL OF GENIUS ways we used to trick our minds/ego/souls are fading as well. I, for exemple, and among many more complex psychological adaptations, have quit on weeds, alcohol, romantic/destructive behaviours all of a sudden ... without even me wanting to do so - i didn't judge myself and it made sense to me to be so (i'm the tormented artist kind ;)). Fact is, the inferno behind me which got me running has put out and I feel stuck now, with nothing to run away from and no real target to aim at. I got my butt between two chairs - i'm no longer in the old school and not yet in HIGHschool ;).All of it got me wondering about which tricks do you people have to face it ? Most of us I assume have not yet the 'dream-life' ... I myself spend an irreasonnable amount of time learning about laws in uni, i get ambushed in student parties and i mostly frequent people that seem, to say the least, far away from looking like they're going through major spiritual shifts.What i'm mostly reading lately is to 'listen to my heart', to be patient ( which kind of make feel like stuck in rewind : how do beings that evolve in unlinear time patterns can talk about patience ? :)) ... but still, i need more and more to share and I need to know : where are you sit ?!Thanks for reading, salam :)Nico

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