Spiritual Forum

Replies

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  John Jancar May 13, 2013 at 11:48am

  There's so much to making a relationship truly work, you can write a book about it. This is a good start here, but there's alot more to it. I've been with more than my fair share of women, so I understand pretty well what's what, and what to do....and what not to do....mostly by trial and error, so I'll offer some things I've learned along the way.

  
  
  First off, you want to keep things light....laughter and fun is so important, without that, the relationship becomes too serious and eventually the relationship will become something that weighs you down, rather than lightens you up, which is what you want. You want to keep a certain amount of joy...lightness...and temper it with times of seriousness and maturity. Like most of life, it's about having a balance.

  You also need to be honest....and be open, and express yourself and how you're feeling, what you're thinking...in other words, communication. That's also important. You have to be friends, as well as partners. You should be able to be completely yourself with your partner, and express yourself....and have them accept and understand you, and you accept and understand them and their expression. That will add to the connection, and having that connection, that unity...is important.

  Also a good sex life is important too, if you want a full and whole relationship, the last thing you want to do is make  your partner unsatisfied in the bedroom, or to be unsatisfied, and start feeling like something is missing. For a truly whole relationship, nothing has to be missing.

  But even if there are things missing, you can look passed it, with....a true love for someone. This is a love not of need, or attachment...even though a certain amount of attachment is needed, or else there's no bond. But it's just a pure type of love, for the other person, for how they are. And nothing they do, or are, can make you feel that, that's something you find within you, as you open up to love. Love is more than just romance, or attraction....and if there's just romance and attraction, eventually it'll fade....and if there's no deep underlying selfless love....for that person...then it won't be enough, and there's no point to be together.

  By default, women want their man to be a man, and men want their woman to be a woman. It's just how genders are set up. But also, by default, people want their partner to be balanced. That is, a balance of masculine and feminine. Woman want their men strong, but also loving and caring.....and men want their woman loving and caring, but also....strong. And imbalance of either, will make the other feel like, this person isn't quite the person they truly want. And that's true. It's just part of our nature, as souls...we look for an androgynous soul, because we know that's what an evolved person is.

  And, by default, people always look for an evolved person.....that is, evolved as a person....spiritually, intellectually, and physically. And yes, looks are part of that, those who say looks don't matter, are lying. Looks do matter, although it's not the underlying factor, and lack of looks can be overlooked, as long as they make up for it in other areas. But, by default, people look for an evolved person, and are attracted to an evolved person, no matter in what department. Because they, at an unconscious level, most people don't realize what it is....but they unconsciously are attracted to people who are godly....in every way that means.

  Our quest for a relationship, really is our quest for God. It's our quest to find Gods love, and find the true nature of God. It's our quest to become whole again, and become God again, and become Gods in our own right. And any person who makes you feel closer to that sense of wholeness, that sense of godliness, is someone you'll be attracted to. It's just how life is. Everyone wants the love, the joy, the beauty, the power, the knowledge, the wisdom, the creativity....that sense of unity and wholeness....that you find by coming to know God, because that's the true nature of God. And any person you see who has those qualities, you'll be attracted to, and you'll want to be with them. So the best way to make a relationship work, is to grow and evolve and become godly. In all that means.
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    eve > John Jancar May 22, 2013 at 6:36pm

    this sounds pretty nice...
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    Delilah7777 > John Jancar May 15, 2013 at 8:26pm

    All good points John!  Personally, I have had some major relationship learning experiences as well.  My current determination, is that what's best is to have a more "free" and evolved relationship structure.  Although I don't think we are there yet as a society... There is too much jealousy and too much ownership vibe.
    
    Personally, I feel that having a "best friend" relationship keeps things healthier than most scenarios... but again we are getting into some touchy territory when we talk relationships, especially where sexuality is involved... because of the energy transfer, and the deeper connections that are made because of it.
    
    One part of me wants to stay "independent" but we do have a deep passionate drive to connect... so you can only run from that for so long... :)
    
    And one more thing, you can't forget people who may want the person of the same sex for a partner... Really what should be at the source of all things... Is Love :).... 
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  Delilah7777 May 3, 2013 at 7:35pm

  :-)