I rarely post anything and honestly, I don't even know if this is the most appropriate way to do this.
But I wanted to ask anyone out there if they have been feeling the same as me. Lately, I have been feeling an intense need to lighten up various areas of my life.
It all started a few years ago with the people in my life. I just kind of dropped out of their lives. It's not that I am depressed or antisocial, I just stopped finding the things they were interested in, interesting. I stopped wanting to go and do the things I normally did with them. It just felt like a waste of time. It kind of made me feel like a bad friend. I had one friend hurt me and I did let her go rather abruptly but the others I just kind of lost touch with. If I see them out we talk and I am nice, I just don't have a desire to make time to spend with them. A few of them were people who were doing horrible things to themselves like drugs and I didn't want that in my life, but others were perfectly good nice people but I just felt I couldn't really relate anymore. Again, I swear, I'm not depressed.
The last year I did go through a lot. I lost my father to cancer in September and while he was sick I spent less time with people however I kind of was happy to have an excuse not to hang out with them. I am married with children and have been with the same man for 14 years. We truly enjoy spending time together. He is much more social than me but even he has mentioned how he desires to spend less time with his friends (especially those who just drink a lot) and would rather be home with me and the kids.
I'm sure some of my more recent needs to lighten up have come from losing my father. It's kind of been a way of letting go of the old and making way for the new but I have deep down felt this since before his death. Not that I looked forward to his death but I remember thinking about and anticipating having time to pare down my life. In the last year I really started decluttering my home and donating SO MUCH STUFF and yet lately, like in the last few weeks, I have this need to let go of even more. It is amazing to me how much stuff I still have and I don't even consider myself to be a materialistic person or being someone who blows money on needless things. Yet, it still accumulates. How do I acquire all this stuff?
Aside from my need to let go of material junk, I have been desiring to surround myself with more COLOR and lighter colors at that. Whites, pinks, sky blue, etc. I was always a black/gray/brown kind of person and now looking at the drab colors does nothing for me where as before they made me feel more secure.
I have also had this desire to eat less and less meat. I am desiring to eat a lot less fat, salt and meat and eat more simple foods. This is weird because I have always been one to overindulge in foods. I was never into drugs or drinking but I definitely loved food. And now it appeals to me less and less.
I am just wondering if anyone else out there has been feeling this intense need to let go of the excess in your life.
Replies
Thank you! The letting go is actually getting addictive because with everything I let go I feel lighter and lighter. I didn't realize how the things in my life, even the things I thought I was holding on to for the right reasons, were weighing me down.
Yes, I feel you... and my mother passed away too, perhaps de-cluttering my life made her physical absence less noticeable. And shallow relationships were seen to be non-productive, I avoid interactions of control and ego as much as I can. Though interestingly enough, when I do venture out I have profound interactions with fascinating people. The food change is interesting, I have it too, I can't stand canned food anymore because of the metal salty taste. I started drinking water with sliced cucumber and lemon and it has helped. Do you feel the need to clean too? I am so happy to wash down everything within arms reach, lol... nice and fresh.
YES! I hate canned food now too and it's also because i suddenly notices a weird metallic taste. I grew up on canned goods but now I can''t tolerate them!
I was getting rid of a lot of useless things before and I would clean as usual but lately I have this need to get rid of stuff even that I only kind of enjoy. I don't want anything but that which makes me happy and that even means getting rid of very sentimental things I held onto for years. And I got this sudden knowing that letting go of stuff related to my deceased parents is okay because they aren't those things and that they are here wiht me and they don't want me hanging on. I still deal with guild and second-guessing but at least now I am acknowledged that. I tend to hide my own feelings from myself especially if they are painful and now I am getting better and noticing them.
And I have been keeping 2 spaces in my home exceptionally clean. The two spaces that I feel are the easiest because just having a few very well kept areas clean has really been helping me.
I have also noticed through going through this process that I am suddenly seeing a ton of blogs and books out there devoted to the art of letting go. So I was just wondering if this is part of a greater 'wave" so to speak that a lot of people have found themselves swept into. Like a greater spiritual purpose for this.
I used to do lots of things, trying to fill in some inner lack of perception. Throwing everything away allowed me some inner-self discovery.
I've been doing tons of divine alchemy since then.
It has been a natural, yet fairly chaotic process so far.
That's really interesting. Can you elaborate?
Yes, me too....people, things, habits and ways of thinking that do not serve my highest good are all falling away...
Exactly, even old thought patterns. The last two years have been rough and I find myself having bouts of anger (due to some unfortunate family fighting around my dad's death) but I am catching myself in the middle of it and it's like I get this glimpse of myself from an outside view and it just kind of stops me in my tracks.