- A great evil follows nigh upon another,
As a vast throng assembles to witness this thing.
Jostling, dumbstruck, they ask themselves:
My God, who let that Mariah chick sing? - After many years, there will be
A return to the wars among the stars,
And millions will cry out in agony
Upon seeing the beast of two Jars. - At the dawn of the millennium, in the new land of Columbus,
The village idiot will take the crown from the wooden one.
Oh, hell -- Bush's wayward kid will win the American presidency in 2000. Is that clear enough for you morons? - A coming together in distant lands
Preceeds a test not all shall pass.
One by one souls are discarded,
Until the flabby naked dude wins a cool million. - On the third day of the
Ascension of Gemini into his third house,
Work will be kind of boring.
Verily, what is new? - For the human race, an ill wind blows under a barren sky.
Unable to resolve their differences, the end is nigh.
Who would have thought? *WE* were the the weakest link. Goodbye. - For score upon score of years, and more,
The people of the land of Amerigo
Sit transfixed -- dumbfounded, yet unmoving.
200 channels, yet nothing good on the tube! - From the South shall come
Great mountains of falsehood,
And though she denies, many a man
Will make pledge to lay down Spears. - A mighty captain shall steer a ship
That sails neither oceans nor seas.
Then retired, he shall discount travel fares
And fool no one with a bad hairpiece. - Out of thin air, shall spring music,
Emanating from a box, for all to hear,
When the Bega's Mambo numbered 5 shall sound,
No ear will be spared its enduring torment. - A man-child shall anoint himself King.
Though he suffers no earthly malady nor troubles,
His face shall become gaunt and pale.
His companion? A chimp named Bubbles. - From Nantucket shall come a great man,
With sword so long he can touch it to his own lips.
His chin bedewed,
He shall say with a great smile,
"I long for my ear to be the lotus blossom of a woman!" - With bated breath the people of the D and C,
Wait upon their leader's word.
Will we crush our foes or lie down again like lambs?
All eyes turn for an answer to Jordan of Nike. - From the land of the maple leaf shall come a great wailing,
With an emaciated siren singing of an unsinkable boat.
Thus two tragedies are produced from one.
(Three if you count Kate Winslet naked.) - One by one the plagues arrive,
Marching swiftly across our consciousness.
Beware the ones with demonic names:
Adam, Pauly and Carrot Top.and the Number 1 most interesting Nostradamus Prediction...
- And in days long hence, when these visions come to pass,
I shall finally lose the nickname,
"Nostra-dumbass."
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