I know that my life will fundamentally change soon. I know that I will be leaving college and striking off on my own in one way or another. It feels almost inevitable. Every part of me rejects the path I'm walking now and seeks to destroy it. It is not my path, it's the path of the person I was before I remembered myself. It's why this seems so inevitable I guess.
So I've been looking in myself to se if I can find any clues as to what I'll do next. What is my path after all? Sounds like a simple question but sometimes the general idea of what your path is isn't good enough. Sometimes you need individual street names and hotel reservations to keep you on that path, not just "I'm heading to Vancouver" or something like that.
I just had a short discussion on another forum about Guardians. As far as I know there are none here with all there power intact. And then I remembered that every time I've said that in the past I ended up being wrong. Then I started searching my memories for all the times a Guardian or a member of an ancient human Sect or Order "randomly" bumped into me while I was working in some city or town. I remembered various symbols that they wore, like tattoos or jewelery. Things everyone else would take as simply decorative but that those who understood would recognize.
Then I remembered one specific event where a Martial Arts Grand Master happened to be visiting the area I was in. Ironically it happened to be a school that I was more or less hiding in plain sight in. I was recovering from injuries that I couldn't talk about, both mental and physical. I felt like I had made a terrible mistake that I should've been smart enough not to make. I had attacked and nearly killed someone in a rage using a forbidden ability. I assumed this person was dead, but I never wanted to kill them. Not only did I nearly destroy myself by causing severe damage to my soul with that ability, I killed someone who didn't need or deserve to die. I had been hanging out at this school taking pain medication as I healed. Taking too much of it according to Alice, and she eventually cut me off. And I generally felt like crap for doing something so stupid.
This master saw me getting rid of my frustrations in a gym and decided "randomly" to challege me to a duel using wooden swords. A noraml duel without any magic, after all there were "others" present.. During the entire thing he berated me for holding back and for feeling sorry for myself. To the other students at this gym we both probably seemed crazy for what we were talking about. Although nothing was ever outright said, the message was clear. He kept telling me that we all make mistakes and sometimes people get hurt, that's unfortunate. But that's part of the path we chose, it isn't good or bad, it just is. The aim is to be able to recognize we made a mistake, pick ourselves up again, and move on.
I lashed back at him saying he didn't know anything about it and should just shut up. At the time I didn't realize that what he really wanted me to do was fight him at my full potential. Because doing that would mean I had let go of the restrictions I had been putting on myself because of my guilt. Eventually he managed to get enough of a rise out of me that I managed to surprise and overpower him much to the shock of the other students who simply saw me as the quiet guy that was either new or that no one ever noticed before. And now I'd just beat a Grand Master in a duel. They couldn't realize that I was far older than I looked.
Afterwards we exchanged a few more choice, cloaked words. He was of a dwindling clan that functioned like Guardians on earth and recognized that I was a Guardian trained by Celestials. He was probably the only person in that world that could've helped me out of my depression at that moment. And that's only because he understood me.
I found out much later that the person I thought I'd killed wasn't dead and had no hard feelings towards me. Everything had been explained to them while they were recovering.
After I leave college and likely my home I have a feeling I'm going to meet up with someone like that here. Somehow I just know that there's at least one near me who's been waiting for the chance to talk to me. Why I feel this way I don't know but I know it's true.
So now I ask the rest of you, when your life changes dramatically if it hasn't already. What will you do? Do you know the roadmap of your path? And are you willing to share it like I have despite how fantastical it may sound to others?
Sometimes just thinking and talking about it is enough to set things in motion.
:: UPDATE ::
The reason I'm thinking I'll run into a Guardian with their powers intact down here is because of an encounter I had at school one day. I think this was last semester but could've been the beginning of this one. I saw a guy walking down the hall whom I'd never seen before. He seemed kinda out of place in the college. Leather jacket and dark ahair and all that, which on their own is nrmal enough. But something about him seemed odd. Then, when we passed, that entire side of my body reacted for an instant. Clearly this guy had a lot of energy running through him. The feeling was so strong that I stopped in the middle of the hallway and looked back at him as he kept going. I haven't seen hm since.
But that non-encounter encounter has stayed with me. I kept trying to figure out who or what he was because maybe I was mistaken. The likelyhood of anyone else at that school even feeling his aura was slim to none. And those that could probably wouldn't say anything anyways. It was almost like he walked past me just so I'd know he was there. It's not the frwst or only time someone from up there ha managed to contact me physically. Although apparently there are strict rules about it. Namely that at no point can they actually reveal themselves and leave no doubt in my mind.
Like, Nareisha couldn't hug-tackle me in the hallway and start calling me Reiz and all that. It's be kinda obvious who she is and revealing that to the wrong people can be very bad. Although I highly suspect that she's possessed someone on a couple occasions to cheer me up. Or maybe has an artificial body down here or something.
But remembering that encounter in my school is why that memory of the duel came to my mind and why I suspect there's someone waiting for me.
Reiz, Leo Zodiac
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