I came to the new age movement then something started to nag at the back of my mind, I decided to put out the intent to take whatever journey was necessary to find the truth behind all the relative small truths, and then discovered behind all these smaller ones, there's also a universal truth. Many people are not going to agree or like what I am writing here as it probably doesn't conform to most of the channellings but all I can say is "Boo hoo princess, I'm speaking from my own experience."
This has lead me on a path of seemingly unending frustration and disappointment. But it's what I'm choosing to go through. I feel like I may have gone down something different most people in the new age choose to as they prefer the "love and light" but I decided I wanted to "keep it real" to this dimension. Although I can't see it, at the end just maybe it was worth it. 3D isn't over yet so I don't intend to stop learning from it. I wanted this, it just feels right to me.
What annoys me most of all... is that we had to ascend to become a "peaceful society". I know beyond any doubt, beyond the inner core of my being that we are able to achieve a peaceful, or close to it society in this type of reality. It doesn't even need a foundation of "unconditional love" to work. It just needs respect for individuals, something we're more capable of in this dimension. It just pisses me off that we had to elevate our consciousness to achieve it. Here's an analogy for fellow gamers, it's like you just started out on level 1, despite trying hard many times your efforts failed to reach the next level so you just typed in a hack instead. But did you really learn how to pass that level in doing so?
Sure, we learnt how to be peaceful on the fifth dimension but that's just because our consciousness was pre-programed for peace on that level. We never learnt how to on the third, so why do we get insta qualified for fifth? Did this not ever occur to anyone? Or do we just nod our heads and smile pretending I'm coming from a fear/ego based limited perspective unable to comprehend the workings of the fifth dimension and we can because we read channellings and pray to ascended masters?
Did you know that conforming yourself to words of channellings strips you of your ability to think for yourself? Oh noes! Blasphemy! Yes, I'm provoking you for a reason. Think damnit! Don't lose your brain while trying to find your heart!
This level of frustration I have right now... it was amplified not long ago when I integrated a part of myself. My heart chakra suddenly went nuts on me and I felt like "more of myself than I was a moment ago". None of my personality changed... I was just more .."me". Sorry I'm going to start talking about concepts that our language has no words for.. please bear with me.
Whatever that was.. brought memories with it. Memories of things happening from past lives, memories of my current life even though I haven't finished it. I just can't access them. Like before, my memories felt like they were sealed away behind a solid titanium wall. Now they linger just beyond a translucent brick wall. Strong enough for me not to be able to draw out any detail, but "transparent" enough for me to "see" them. My whole life is now one massive deja vu. Every waking moment.
I can turn it off by ignoring it, because I really have to. If I retreat to my inner world of solitude and reflection (my favourite place), I find these memories there. It's like watching a silent play overlapping my current physical reality. Imaginary but real beings talking, walking, doing things, fighting.. only I can see interacting on a separate plane over the current 3D reality. Most of them overlap over where I used to live when I was kid, growing up, I see this being that is supposedly me in this world of memories too. I see them with my third eye...
But when I see them they piss me off to no end. I don't know why, they just make me incredibly angry. This is what's fueling a lot of my frustration. I can randomly explode and punch a wall or whatever object is nearest for no reason. I'll throw phones or whatever I'm holding when I see a memory, in a random act of rage. It's like I'm an unstable ball of angry energy, trying to restrain itself without luck. This isn't something I can just will away with "love and light", in fact it only makes it worse. I have to let it out but it's not leaving me. I can't retreat to my solitude to balance out the drama of everyday 3D life because of these annoying memories plaguing me. So I'm absorbing stress from both worlds and I need to vent it some how, there is no place to calm down now.
I can't find solitude anymore. I'm forced with having to live in the 3D world permanently now. I know I sound like I'm complaining, but I needed my inner sanctum to work out the stress of 3D there, now I can't. Ugh.. there's just so much on my mind right now. I could make 10 blog posts and still not cover them all. But all this ascension crap.. everything.. pisses me off. I try helping out people, getting them to understand things beyond what the channellings tell them, but because I'm not a channeler or Ascended Master, they don't listen to me and consider my information fear based or disinformation. WTF is up with that?!
Sure no one has to listen to me, but they consider themselves more enlightened than I am because I speak of things with a very different view to what the Ascended Masters speak of. I'm not saying I'm more enlightened, hell like I am at all, but really? You're so willing to limit your mind and info intake to these invisible entities?
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I'll leave it at that.. and I wish you well ..
Peace -
Namaste.
.calm... did u regret wat u posted before??..i dont think...
...it was your spontaneous reaction, and u post it... good... if u dont like it after a while, u can make another post, and say, i change the way i see things now, and i dont support my previous statement...
...but deleting our previous posts just for the sake of not steering the waters is not good... it doesnt show the real us... we stay always in some kind of camouflage this way...and we also miss the way that the conversation has evolved in time on the various threads...
... anyway, it is your choice to do it...but i wanted to point it.....
I dont regret what I posted.. but if it made Rae unhappy, then I'm glad I removed it. (She actually found it funny) but I removed it because its not up to me to point out hers or anyone elses appearence. By the way, everything I wrote in that original post were her own words, if you want to go to the lenghts of scrawling through her disscussions then you will find them. Sometimes if you want to help another, you can write words that you know may really help but seem to go in one ear and out the other.. or you realise that the person is not ready to recieve those words because they show signs that they are not listening, so you think, why bother. My post was also infused with humour and only with the highest intentions of Love.. some folk here are very serious.. and where is the joy in that? .. after all, joy is part of what we are becomming - in self realisation - it is what we already are.
Eckhart Tolle describes this perfectly when he describes the ''Pain Body'', it is the pain body that seeks retaliation. For example, if a couple are arguing, each one continually wants to infuse the other ones pain body by pointing out their seeming weakness's.. and building up the argument, it is the pain body that wants the argument to esculate.. instead of rising above it and quietly affirming to themselves that it is the pain body in his/her self and nothing more, then choosing to see the Christ in the other.. and recognising that the root of the argument began from the tiniest of misunderstandings. Look at what Rae has focused on in her own words, in this opening disscussion.. remember, what is liken unto itself is drawn.. so if someone thinks, speaks, acts, writes or whatever from the perspective of their own pain body, then they are going to recieve the vibrational match of that energy.. it is Cosmic and Universal law.. it can be no other way.
As you know, we are powerfull magnets attracting like energy.. with everything we think, everything we say and everything we do.. we draw unto ourselves that which we are thinking and vibrating - back into our own energy field.. back into our own conciousness and when enough energy is put into it, it manifests itself phyically. and as we merge into the fifth dimension.. it is manifesting at a faster pace, quicker because time itself is speeding up. In the fifth dimension, you just think a thought and it will manifest itself instantly.. we have the opurtunity to change our mind in 3d because we still have the added advantage of a time buffer.. which quite literally gives us time to change our thoughts.. enough time to change our vibration in order to attract only that which is in our highest interest and for our highest good. The reason people attract so called ''physical or psycological disease''. It stems from their own thoughts and what they are holding in their vibration.. and if you look at the word more closely, it spells ''dis-ease'' - not being at ease with themselves. By constantly affirming how bad you are feeling, you are amplifying it and the Universe is responding by telling you ''yes, you feel this way !`'' and so the Univese gives you exactly what you are giving it, it puts into you exactly what you put into it. As soon as you think something, its on its way to you. My whole point in offering Rae a way out of her own suffering was merely showing her what she was focusing on, and sharing with her that what you focus on - expands. All we have to do is fine tune our awareness by tuning into our highest vibration like tuning a radio..if you send out mixed signals, you get mixed reults until eventually we find the right signal and the station becomes clear.
We all feel crap from time to time.. but by blending into that vibration with someones pain body, it affects our own conciousness.. much like when a group of people are in a room and one person is expressing their own trials and tribulations.. it quickly begins to affect others until a large perctage of those in the room are spouting their bile toward one another and so you see it in dozens of discussions in these forums.. just look at the heated debates that are currently taking place.. bitching and one upmanship - when there is an easier way by recognising the affect your pain body has not only on yourself but on others.. for when you've had enough suffering - you begin to help alleviate the suffering in others.
In the Christ Vibration.. there is only Love.
One Love.
At 13, I went to a healer in Norway, on a small countryside cottage and she was locally known for being warm, friendly and a great advicer. I was curious about everything and nothing. I had no idea what she had to say. She said things no one could have known, she also mentioned my guardians which seemed to consist of an "order". I had several guides when it came to me being sad etc., and then this one major source, "guide", who only came when I needed urgent help or when I would be facing death. The gate to other worlds. She talked about archangel Michael as well, and that there were beings outside our realm who tried to contact me but that I was strongly guided because of my sensitivity. She also said I had the Christ energy in me, but that my previous lifetime was hurtful and that I carried a lot of negativity towards myself.
So I lay in my bed and try to talk with my guides. And even though this communication never involves the words "ascend" or "2012" or any of that, it is clear there is something protecting me and that they wish for me to let go of pain and enjoy my life. The more I ask for answers, the harder my life seem to get - and the more I realise I am not living the life that is best for me. The more I felt pride in having my own personal army of angels, the more I learned that guides are energy and I cannot take claim of energy.
A few nights ago I looked at the stars (oh how profound of me:) and I started to feel an intense presence in my room. Even though it felt like a guardian, it also felt like a visitor, some sort of angelic alien. It calmed me down completely and that same night I dreamt about arcitechture. Someone was desperate for showing me arcitechture, then the architecture turned into a being who wanted me to realise something, that he was archturian. I didn't get it at the point but googled all I could the next day, and that's when I found arcturians. Could be random.. but small things. Small miracles. Small signs.
I think our human head is just not capable of understanding how feelings are a part of an experience. And sure, there may be injustice and poverty, murders, Reptilians, bad mind sets, etc but a flower can break through asphalt and my biggest memory to this day is about the guy who ran after me through Perth because I lost my wallet. Whales use waves like a radio and do telepathy, tribes in Peru has never been in contact with the outside world, EVERY single great piece of litterature out there involves the good winning against evil. I mean - there's so freaking much to this world!
So I think we need to focus more and ask questions more. We could lay in the snow for 3 minutes without figuring out why we shouldn't lay there. Be in a crappy mood and put on gaelic music just to see how it would change the mood. Learn italian and get a pen pal from Romania. And I think its more about choosing thoughts after how true they seem instead of wanting to attract happy friendships. Why wanting? Why not just...give it up. I can go for days without feeling anything and I'm starting to think its because I'm separating myself from things and situations that makes me feel good/bad. Being a kid, every day was filled with both what-the-hells and undescribable joy. I didn't see patterns, I didn't understand the term Illuminati and I forgave friends who were mean and stayed stubborn enough to never play with them again. My most vulnerable part was when I felt jealousy, embarrased, or guilt. I'd sing really loud and start to cry when dad told me to shut up. Then I'd feel better again and sing even more. Feelings went through like water on rocks. Passing, coming, leaving. Feelings I still recognize in all my emotional problems, except now I usually don't face them or start crying hysterically - when that's maybe exactly what I should do, instead of analyzing my life pattern and asking "good friends" for advice. Friends whose biggest desire is being told they're hot. Life is not a rollercoaster of accidents and thrills if you chose to stay on the ground. Its probably just very disorienting at first :p and that's what made me think about being 13, believing the world is a mystery and being absolutely absorbed in discovering it. OK. Random thoughts here. Take care xx.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPabMyVvC9s
Ooh, is hard to use. Doesn't...
Quite...
do what you want. Bother.
I dunno really.
I was trying to convince some people today that they are assuming things, i. e. I was trying to manipulate their perspective, and when we left, I kicked the wall because I thought Shoot I have been doing something stupid. Stupid, Stupid. There isn't any point in trying to 'enlighten' people unless they are willing. It is ANNOYING you wanna tell them but it just doesn't go through. And then I realize I was being ridiculous. Bleh.
You know, I don't like saying this right to you (but what the hey!) but I.. erm, empathize with you. When I read this, it feels like something I would write. I read it, and I think, "Wow, I see a bit a myself writing this, it's kinda creepy how it sounds like me."
Anyway I digress. Um, well that's all I have to say actually.
I do NOT look at life through rose colored glasses and am not afraid to say how I perceive things, even if it different from other new agers who hang on every word of channelors and so called ascended masters....The verdict is out for me on channeling and the sources of where this information comes from and why, so I base my life views on what I have intuited and experiences I have had, and emotions in my heart...not on what channelors and the like are telling us we are supposed to think, feel and know about ascention. As far as I am concerned, I am still not sure in my own heart how people KNOW that there will be ascention and that the date 2012 stands out as the likely timeframe.
I am an old fart, lol, and Up until the last 30 years give or take I do not recall hearing about earths ascention and peoples ascending too, back then it was all about Christian rapture and Armegeddan and bilblical stuff that people just believed on faith. Did this ascention information all come from channelings? I truly do not know how the whole thing came about....anyone fill me in? So what makes it true...am I the only one that has doubts about "benevolent alien spacebrothers, ascention, ascended masters etc? The only dealings I have had has been abduction, which believe me was not a gratifying experience, so how am I to be positive that there are "good guy aliens" out there that are supposed to be helping us. Any one who has had one on one conscious physical dealings with them (other than channeling) please raise your hand! Or does everyone take this on blind faith like other religions like christianity etc.? I just dont know...Does that make me a negative person, I don't know that either....I am so full of contradictions at every turn...All I know at the end of the day that light trumps dark hatred every time, and as long as I love everyone and wish all well (even the "bad guys" that I am on the right track....
Nice to see you here again, give these a read, they might help explain a few things.
Still trying to wrap my head around some of it myself haha!
http://www.conspiracyarchive.com/NewAge/Lucis_Trust.htm Read 1st
http://www.conspiracyarchive.com/NewAge/Alice_Bailey.htm
I know what you mean about the "new age" stuff not resonating, and after reading that it makes one wonder about a lot of other things as well and as you said it creates a lot more questions too!
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