What have i come to and what can i do.

For those who know me,hello,its been a while.For those who don't know who i am,uhm...hello!
For the past month ive gone trough some pretty rough and pleasant experiences and i wish to come to ask help once more from the lovely community of Ashtar.Since i want to say a couple of things but don't know how to place them in a story line,im just going to point them out.

I haven't contacted my spiritual guardians at all,i haven't talked with anyone about advice and neither have they contacted me.I have a spirit of some sort interrupting me every time i play a game on the computer,shivers all over my body while the room itself is warm,cold air blasts etc.(saw this show,basically when a spirit is present,u feel cold air blasts,shivers etc.).I feel a connection with grey's,ive seen some visions and dreams of them,i feel like im one of them,in a good way,is that normal?Schools all messed up,aaaaaaaaagghhhh!What if im not a starseed or whatever u wanna call me,what if everything ive seen is a fiction of my imagination,i want to belive,i want to be apart,but i don't see or feel.I don't know what to do anymore...help!I haven't meditated.Every time i try to talk with a guardian,i imagine him and i somehow put words into he's mouth,the conversation isn't normal like between 2 people,it feels like im talking to my self,how do i get around this?

Those are just some of the few thing's i wanted to mention but didn't know how to set them properly in a storyline.Please,ideas and guidance on what to do...

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- The Risky November 1, 2010 at 5:16pm
  
  To Phill,thank you,and thanks to everyone else who's typed down a message for me.
  When you typed down "focus on a point in a class",i remember doing that when trying to focus for meditation.If i'd had a lot of ideas running trough me,id visualize a random object,like a wooden chest and just consentrate on the edge of that chest,thus doing that,i get focused.Anyway,yes you've opened my eyes a lot,and to your request to find musicians,il gladly help you,my main motivation and inspiration comes from Megadeth,Metallica,Anthrax,Slayer,Iron Maiden etc. :)