I have spent many years trying to get to know who I am! Now I think I know who I am as a human person. I have made choices in my life, not all good and not all bad. When it comes down to it I am a good person who trys to take other peoples feelings into consideration.
I have been addicted to all drugs known to mankind and have no regrets because they have made me who I am today. Graham Hancock would agree that exploring ones consciousness is our right if done in the right way and sensibly.
I unfortunately ended up in rehap for 16 weeks after burning my appartment down while cooking and then falling asleep. I walked out of there with smoke everywhere and could feel the heat of the fire with not a mark on me.
That was my rock bottom and I will never drink again, I still use other drugs socially.
The point of this story is that the 16 weeks in rehap started my spiritual journey and saved my life, I had to talk about the hardest things that I would never talk about and in the process I got to know who I really was and that I want to keep learning and improving.
I went to AA for a year and stopped going because I felt strong enough to manage by myself and was right. most of them do not talk to me now and are wondering how i am still getting on a lot better than most of them!
The first thing anyone needs to do is to spend time by themselves...even a few hours a day, 20 minutes meditation or going to mass which I admit always gives me a boast. If you spend time by yourself you have to think about where you are going wrong and then take active action to do something about it.
If you are constantly in relationships, working, playing sports, watching tv, reading shitty books, socialising you will never know who you are and that is sad, life will pass you by.
Try to work on improving something every day and I need to follow my own advice, lol.
I have no idea where this comes from but I enjoy writing it and that is all that matters!
P.S. I was sitting on the toilet when the firemen came and was out of it...kind of funny when you look back on it now but a very big deal at the time. Over 3 year sober by the way and I am Irish and most people respest what I have done because they feel there is no way they could do it themselves.
(It is easier to get to know yourself when you are conscious, lol).
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