For the past week or so...I've been doing alot of stillness meditations, and trying to reach a completely egoless state. And I actually reached it almost right away. It works by going into a deep meditative state, and completely clearing all thoughts....all feelings...and just entering a state of stillness...and complete centeredness. There is very little to no left or right brain activity...you are in a state of pure being, pure awareness...where everything just IS.
2011 was an extreme year for me....I started the first half of the year being totally left brained, totally objective and intellectual and serious and mind oriented....and the second half I went into a very right brained mode of being subjective, and light hearted and emotional. Both sides went to the extreme.
At the end of the year, my left and right brain started messing up and going off balance...and then 2012 came and I started become very centered. And when I say centered, I mean centered, completely and totally centered. Centered to the extreme.
And...it's not an ideal state to be in. Because it's a state where you have no thoughts or feelings on anything, no judgment of good or bad...you perceive everything as just how it is...with no desire to change anything or do anything. You just want to BE and let things BE as they are.
It's the egoless state. Its a state of pure centeredness. And you learn alot being in this state...you learn that most if not all things in society are ego based. Even having a conversation with someone, or writing on a keyboard like this is ego based. Any act of DOING is ego. Any thought or feeling or judgment on ANYTHING, is ego. Good, bad, or otherwise.
At the essence we are pure awareness, pure being...having an experience here on Earth. And it's necessary to have an ego, in order to operate here.Without the ego, we would all just be doing nothing and just being. We wouldn't interact with each other, we wouldn't move...we wouldn't do anything all. Everything would just be...still. And of course, this isn't the purpose of creation.
So I've come to understand now the importance of ego. And why it isn't always best to be in an egoless state, and why it isn't always best to be centered. We are in this world, in this creation...so we have to live it and experience all that it has to offer. Good bad and otherwise. It's the whole purpose of it. We are not here to escape it...we are here to dive into it and live it to the fullest. We need to have thoughts, we need to have feelings, we need to do things, we need the ego.
So when people say, oh get rid of your ego..well they obviously never have experienced what it's like to do that lol It's not ideal. It's not ideal to be totally centered. It's good to be able to know how to center yourself...in case you're getting TOO caught up in thoughts and feelings. But at the end of the day, you're supposed to think and feel lol
I think the idea is to not get rid of the ego and be centered and egoless at ALL TIMES. I think the idea is to purify the ego, so there is no more negative ego...no more negative thoughts or feelings...and to use the ego as a tool. And to be able to know how to center yourself when you need to. Isn't that what all the masters say anyways?
So yea these are my thoughts and feelings. Sure it's ego lol But it's necessary. And..you guys probably already know this, but oh well lol Just a reminder then. Thank you for letting me share my thoughts and feelings with you!
Replies
Oh no, don't get John M, started on Buses, he won't stop when reading something like this lol. He will be on a Bus kick for about an hour afterwards lol, looking up Buses, wanting to live in a Bus, wanting to redo an old broken Bus, you name it he is into Buses lately period lol
Good thing he has to clean his room before getting the computer back lol
Bless the Nite,
April
LoL, Well I guess that it is good to know there are still sensitive men out there yet lol
Bless the Nite,
April
LoL, yes of course it is wrong to play mind games with male as well, sorry James, i forgot to add that part in there lol
Men have been hurt as well at times with things like this also
Bless the Nite,
April
Your right it all depends on where a person is at with the idea of Sex
Bless the Nite,
April
Yes that is true, it can do all sorts of thing, but when you are in a healthy relationship, there is nothing wrong with sharing that.
People are allowed to share this part of there lives if they want to, when they are with the one that they trust, and yeah sometimes it can drive a person apart, or bring them together
It's a part of life and creation even at times lol
Bless the Nite,
April
James, that is neat that you have come full circle with your life on the Sex thing, and have realized what is more important to you in life. I think that most of the times as you get older in life, you start to realize that more and more as time goes on
It's good to be honest with it, and yeah I can see where you would say that those were the days in your life, when you were like that.
Of course though, speak whatever is on your mind with things like this. It would be nice to have other inputs
Again I wouldn't of brought up the whole Sex thing, but I guess it was thrown out there for a really good reason'
Bless the Nite,
April
Lust is something that is only there, when you just want to have Sex with someone for the sake of having Sex with them, and not wanting to commit into a healthy relationship. People who love each other, want to have Sex with each other, because that is there time to be intimate and being able to share that part of themselves
It isn't wrong to have Sex with your Spouse, or the person you are with, if you don't like the idea of couples having Sex, then you shouldn't be having Sex either
It is wrong to play mind games with females, they call it emotional games, emotional abuse is a lot worse sometimes then physical abuse is, because with emotional abuse, it can really twist a person
I mean i don't know where most of you men on here stand with things, but not wanting to have Sex with the one that you Love and are with, doesn't seem right, and feels a bit off
It's like saying ohhh we love you to the females, but pardon us if we have Sexual emotions towards another lady out there. I mean where is this coming from?
I would really like to know where this whole idea of saying I love to you a lady, and then leaving them to have a Sexual fling with another lady, comes from
Over here in Wisconsin, almost all of the men that are married to there Spouse, has sex with them at nite, and if you were to say that it isn't right to have Sex at nite, both the male and female would laugh at that. They would ask u things like why, and what is wrong with it, we both enjoy being with each other.
That is why I'm curious here as to where things are coming from on this Site
That sounds like a lot of mind games, and mind control situations, where you can't have Sex with the partner you are with, or that you get to decide when to have sex and not have sex, but you don't like the idea of sex. It's a real twister here of emotions
Bless the Nite,
April
I have a niece Ella, and she is going to be a teenager soon, and if she started dating someone like you, and she would tell me these things like, you aren't into Sex, but you will have it with her, but yet you don't want to have it with her. I would go bonkers just listening to her explain these things about your Relationship, because in all honesty here this sucks period
I would have a hardtime giving Ella advice, if she were dating someone like you, because I wouldn't know how to give the advice, being you go back and forth with the whole Sex thing
I wouldn't go bonkers, but i would confused as to what was really going on here, because you get these Sexual feelings, but you don't want to have it.
I'm sure that my mom and dad would feel the same way if Ella had grown up, and she started dating someone like you in the 3D, and yes this scares a person that has daughters out there in the world. It scares them, because they want to protect there daughters from things like this, and getting hurt as well
If Ella came home with a skinny man like you, and you were doing things like this to her, with the whole Sex thing, I wouldn't be judging you either, because you were skinny, I would be questioning things, because of the games that were being played in all of this
I wouldn't have anything to do with whether you had muscles or not
Females who are from other Countries maybe more opened minded about things that you are doing Jancar, but after a while they to will get confused and wonder what is going on
Bless the Nite,
April
Wow! I'm so grateful for you sharing this here. I've been going through internal conflict relating to the ego. I have also been doing a lot of deep meditation, simply "Being here now", egoless, thoughtless, emotionless. It was very peaceful, indeed, but I didn't find myself in a state of bliss. The truth is, I didn't find my self in any state. I was just existing, being content with things as they are. After a few weeks, my constant acceptance of things as they are, became confusing. Part of me felt like I was losing myself, which was my ego speaking, and the other part of me was saying to continue the practice...but there was a deep sadness growing inside of feeling like nothing without my ego. I felt like the only thing that was making me happy was my ego, but at the same time I needed to learn to be happy without anything... quite paradoxical! You are completely right about purifying the ego, and it is important to learn how to use it as a tool, and center yourself when you need to. Wonderful article :)
Also Jancar, you should know that there are many ways that Players come around in peoples lives, and it doesn't mean that they have to have muscles in order to be a player, you can be a player with females and not have muscles
That goes to show you how shallow of a statement that was on your end of things
Bless the Nite,
April
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