Yes, a fucking lecture, and you will all god damn listen and comply. I expet full cooperation, and I don't give a damn what your title or status is up there. It doesn't make you exempt from your responsibilities to this group.

Yes Near, you can take note of the swearing and punch me for each word. Just punches only and only on my right arm, no where else. My AP body is kinda.... uhm, not as durable as it usually is. Don't be too rough. It's to the point where my physical body's strength has been reduced to an unusual low. I can just barely stand and even just typing hurts, the reason I preferred to speak on Xfire today.

First of all, I'm going to write down my side of events from the previous night because it's tied in, and I'd prefer all the fine details get down get shared to straighten it all out. What affects one affects us all anyway, and you were all there/ involved to a degree. Some more than others. Zann and Anush were involved in the fucked up lesson with the gremlin, and J, Near and Reiz were all on Xfire with me after the Elron poltergeist demon I believe. I can't remember for sure if Near was. Either way you all have personal strengths when it comes to AP and I'd appreciate all of them here via your input / perspective.

Yeah this stuff is kind of uber personal, or rather, was. I know the lesson was intended towards Zann but in hindsight I really believe they seemed to have killed two birds with one stone, with this one. It was rather cleverly executed, but I'm rather pissed at myself for not going with my gut instinct on this because I was suspicious at the time Zann had been / or was being influenced by another entity to a degree because I knew that when you're very high or drunk, like he was, you're a prime target for easy influence by other beings. 

The most important thing to state right now, is, I don't blame you Zann, at all, period. My anger is directed at the source of this bullshit, which is Kal. I'd almost go out there and seek him out and challenge him to a fight right now if I didn't feel this weak, I don't care how strong you people say he is. Thing is, by the time I'm strong enough I'd probably be past it anyway, which I'm guessing the bastard already knew. At the end of the day though I'm almost slightly grateful because this literally forced me to get past a MAJOR SUPER FUCKING PERSONAL issue that re-occurred through out most of my past lives it seems. It's something I would not have had the motivation to face at all, because it was a deeply ingrained belief that no matter, all men are the same at the end of the day.

No matter if they're even close friends, or like a sort of male role model to me. Which is what Zann was in this instance. So for him to break that trust was extremely disturbing and upsetting, and brought me back to those old memories which seemed to occur in nearly every past life. This is the core reason why I have a deep subconscious fear and despise men, and can never 100% trust them, even close male friends. See, for me, that truth was to me as God is to Christians. It's something I would have never gotten past unless it was forcibly shattered which was inevitable I suppose. The reason I'm not as upset anymore is because of what J did. Even though I don't remember any of that AP experience happening at all, I did feel the physical and emotional side effects, and still feel them right now.

My abdomen feels very bruised. Also I noticed I seemed to react in that transcript a hell of a lot like how I know I would react to that kind of situation for the most part. The end one with the hands thing threw me off a bit though. Maybe because of the sheer awkwardness. Despite knowing I was rather cut up and bleeding before going to sleep, I just couldn't be bothered to do anything about it despite feeling 1. Depleted of energy/ strength, 2. Seriously wanting to / contemplating death at this point. I was kinda just hoping I'd die in my sleep from my AP body's death and not wake up because my old belief had once again been confirmed and turned reality into a living hell for me. So, when J healed me and stuff I kind of realized the opposite reality of that belief. So..uhm, thanks J. :s

Sigh. If you guys want to know why I beat up people when they annoy me, this was essentially why. Thing is I never beat up females over annoyance, only ever guys. I have to assert myself and make sure they get the idea not to fuck with me or try anything funny, thus the reason for the constant beating, even over small things. This is also the reason for the need for the Rae alter ego / tomboy personality. So, yes I am pissed at Kal right now but it's only temporary because as crazy as this sounds to you lot I can totally appreciate the reasoning, even if it wasn't the original intention. So if anything, I'd probably go up and thank him for it later. But for now I have a lot of anger and it needs to be directed somewhere so I figure Kal's the perfect target since it was all his fucked up idea. 

I'm assuming the demon poltergeist saying "They're coming!" and pointing to the sky is / was an immediate distraction because it was right before that happened that my mind was seriously considering an entity possibly have possessing Zann and making him say that. The thing is, I didn't know him well enough personally to completely decide whether he was actually acting out of character or whether this was his "true colours". The fact that the poltergeist message spirit thing happened right AFTER Zann's disturbing uh.. whatever it was... possession I guess.

Well the fact it had happened right after, I was highly suspicious it was somehow related to that Zann thing, but I couldn't really be sure. I felt like it might have been a joke, since I know how spirits tend to get bored and have a strange sense of humour, but I had to treat it as serious due to the extent it went to to grab my attention by making the cords and switches on my TV move around. However I hope Elron now understands the "crying wolf" analogy here because the next time a spirit comes up to me like that and is actually deadly serious about an approaching threat in the form of ships, I'm likely not going to take them seriously. But it's not like I could realistically do anything about a bunch of ships headed my way anyway even if I did think they were serious.

Sigh, moving on. Yes I understand this is a whole bunch of boring shit you don't want to read, but you have to, for this one at least. It's also very important to me, because like, well fuck. You guys have no idea how fucking lucky you are that I'm even opening up on ANY of that period. This sort of shit I would have never even told my closest of friends in this life. Two of which by the way I feel like I'm very certain I've known from past lives, one Reiz might know but I need his help a bit to confirm. 

Which now brings us to the lecture. So, I reiterate, SFIOWEHGFPOWHQPOHGEIO!! YOU WILL READ THIS AND FUCKING COOPERATE OR THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOUR STATUS / TITLE IS HIGHER THAN MINE UP THERE, BECAUSE YOUR EGOS CAN TAKE A GOD DAMN HIKE RIGHT NOW AND BE PUT ASIDE FOR THE SAKE OF US ALL.

*Ahem.* I DO NOT want to play mother here but I am seriously sick of this god damn bullshit. Get your shit together! All of you! I am SICK of having to listen to one side of an argument and completely and entirely agreeing with you then going to the other, and doing the same, but for some fucking mind blowing reason you're fighting each other with these extremist like views of fact vs fiction. Right brain vs left brain thing going on. It's mind blowing to me because  NONE OF YOU ARE WRONG BUT YOU'RE FUCKING ARGUING OVER WHO IS RIGHT.

What the fuck people! Your talents for imagination and details SHOULD NOT BE CLASHING. Look you all like to go and lecture LnLers about balance and how they're so extreme and one sided in their views but you can't even agree amongst yourselves when you're all correct just because of your different methods of discerning shit in AP. This may not be such a big thing to you all but it is to me. Stop fucking arguing over this shit and get it together! Use your talents to compliment what the other one lacks instead of disagreeing simply due to their methods.

I want you all to work together because I'm sure Near's, J's, and my own identities are as much a mystery to the rest of you as it is to us. I mean in reality, after careful consideration of everyone's evidence on the Lex, Zann and Jeremy identities the probability of us actually being them remains shaky at best. I know Zann is a bit different in this respect, slightly. There's a bit more going for him than myself and J. However if you want to figure this out for absolute certain than you all have to work it out together. Do tests and stuff, y'know? 

Reiz, instead of out right denying it all, let's use your brain for the details, supporting and against. No bias, just drop it ok? We have to drop what spirits may or may not have said because in reality they mislead and are still capable of out right lying. Not saying your friends did, but uhm. They're not exactly reliable to us as 100% factual. We don't even know them personally. Let's work on this issue from the ground up. 

Near, I can't speak for everyone else here, but you're just important in this group to me as everyone else. The thing is, the reason why you perceive us, or me more specifically to have a seemingly blatant un-interest in your KH Ventus/ Keyblade/ Roxas metaphor things is because I've never seen those series and know shit all about them. I don't care about those characters and those series, I care about Near, so I have a hard time trying to relate to you in that respect. It's good you find qualities and elements of yourself in them, you just need to translate it for us to how it related to your past specifically. Stop using the terms "Ventus did...." "Roxas did....." because that just throws me off. Try using "Near/ I did...." instead.

Anush and Zann, stop prodding Reiz and insulting him, and stating "matter of fact" that J and I are Lex and Jeremy, because you should only be doing that if J and I were certain of this fact ourselves. From the beginning, it should have never even been mentioned to us and left for us to innocently provide evidence we had found on our own without it being suggested to us. Stop going off on random tangents because in reality, because you guys are so right brained and off with the fairies, the line between actual AP and pure imagination are blurred. Even if it doesn't seem that way to you.

I'm not trying to insult either of you, but this is where your weakness lies in your strength. Because the line is blurred, this is where you need Unlabeled and Reiz to find the details and facts. Plus, it's obviously upsetting to Reiz to insist we're people who've been very close to him when he feels strongly against this. So drop that until we're all able to find substantial evidence to prove that Reiz may have been wrong on this one. Hey, who knows maybe Anush and Zann are right and we are for some unconceivable reason, but the thing is intuition only points you in a certain direction, it does not analyze or discern facts.

As far as I'm concerned right now Unlabeled has the best connection to AP, after considering the amount of consistencies in his AP experiences with all of us. He seems to get nearly if not most of his details right. Reiz stated himself that he's not the best right now due to the condition of his bodies. Anush has a very strong and experienced / constant connection to AP yes, but she tends to miss out on the finer details, which are very important in this case. But hey, intuition and emotions are equally important. It's just that what Anush and Zann need to understand is that these are YOUR feelings, not ours, and these are our identities, something WE will have the final say over, ok?

And I'm going to copy/ paste what I just told Zann on Xfire:

"Intuition basically goes;

Hey guys I've got a hunch about this over here but I don't know what.

Logic is what should then say;

Ok, well you know how to pick up on these things. I'll see what I find and analyze it for you."

Now, it's super uber important you guys don't get their jobs mixed up. They're experts in their own field and totally fucking suck at the other. Intuition is NOT a substitute for logic. Logic does NOT understand where to go until it's pointed in the right direction.

Everyone clear on this?