i've grown up with some rough people, people that you wouldn't want to live near!
i grew up being bullied sevearly to the point where if i cried infront of them or even shown a shed of them getting to me the punishment would be worse!
i've found that i have only cried four time's since i was 11, the first was when i was raped at 17, lost my virginity to that bastard!
2nd: was when i broke down, i took my little brother to a party and the owner of the house sexually assulted my lil bro and i broke down because my only job is protect him from that kind of stuff!
the 3rd: was in the arms of a girlfriend, i felt week and sad, embarresed even, like it was wrong for me to do it!
the 4th was when my ex died and i could only cry for 20 min before i had to be strong again!
allot of people say that men don't cry or real men don't cry, to be honest there are nights where i honestly wish i could, i've been put through so much hell that i litraly am un-able to cry anymore, unless it's in the arms of somebody i intend the rest of my life with!!!
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sarah: yer i know what you mean, allot's changed since i was a young fella, but yes the bullying is over because i'm big enough and old enough to stand up and go peh i don't need this crap in my life no more, and the bullie's that continue i just go well your not worth my time, 90% of them are still in the same situation they where almost 6 years ago huh!
as for crying well it's not my thing, i will let it out sooner or later but i feel as though it will be in my mrs arms, i feel vonerable yet safe with her so yer, it's hard because i draw all my strength from the love of my partners, there the only one's i can trust and up until now that's been an issue!
as for my girlfriend, i assure you i didn't manifest her up at all, i have known about her being the girl i would be with for the rest of this life since i was 6 years old, i didn't even know that i had the ability to see the future, i just thought i had an over active imagination, so as you can imagine my surprise when to find that the girl of my dreams (litraly and in detail) and all that she is was actually real and love's me for me!
couldn't be happier!
Pallas: thank you, i shall grow in more ways than i thought possible!
my spiritual side is blossuming and coming along and the base of my existance and purpose is becoming clear by the day, thank you for those kind words, sometime's it's nice to hear it :)
well sarah the 3rd situation was just the opertunity for everything that had been building up to be let loose that one time!
i rarely cry anymore, i'm allot like your hubby karen, i have been in some pretty messed up situations like that, i've held my friend in my arms while he died and wasn't able to shed a single tear!
mostly stabbings and stuff but occasionly someone would be dragged off and had a bullet, luckily for me i walked away from that world before i was affiliated with anybody!
with the bullie's sarah i was bullied right up until. well actually technically about 2 months ago where i went f this i'm pergening my life of negativity, never felt better, difference was i got to escape to a different state through my parents and start fresh, but i'm 22 and to be honest the bullying never really got better!
i have found my somebody, that one person, i've had her in my dreams since i was 6 years old, i thought she was a fantasy girl. until i saw the picture and then she told me she had fallen for me, it's more than i have ever dreamed of!
it's just the wait that sucks!!!