Well, I'm still sick and the doctors don't know why. I really think they don't try hard enough to listen to their patients. It doesn't help that half the time I am delirious. My kidneys are shut down now and I have been told not to eat as eating makes me dizzy and confused. Hmmm...very peculiar since I'm being treated for pneumonia. I just am not getting enough oxygen. The antibiotics don't seem to be working...
I don't like to complain, but it is better I do it here than burden my roommates/family. My Mom was ready to fly cross country at a drop of a hat! What a blessed soul she is. I really know where the light of my heart comes from, her! My friends and bf have been great too!
Recently, on a lighter note, I have been trying to develop my spiritual side more. I really need the strength. I'm trying to become familiar with my aura. I had no idea how colors could affect mood and spirituality. Bright blue and green make me happy.
Seeing auras could be the single most useful ability for anyone in their life. You can see the states of mood, health, and intent with auras. So far I have only managed to see my own aura a couple of times and my friend's aura once. Mine was a dark blue color with gray/silver on the outside. My friend's aura was a green-ish color surrounded by gray. It might have been yellow. I see color, but I know I'm not seeing all of the colors yet. Really, up until I saw my aura about 5 yrs ago I didn't believe they existed! I can see how my bf thinks I'm crazy. Hahaha.
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I am stepping out from behind a dark shadow into the light. My perspective on life is great. I feel my suffering is not in vain. A maybe needed life-changing event for the future that so eagerly waits ahead.
The power of the mind is awesome! They say Bruce Lee could heal himself. I have a second hand account of him healing his fist after the doctors said he'd never have regular use of it again. He envisioned tiny little workers in his body rebuilding his ailments. Quite intriguing!
If you are still wondering what my symptoms were...numbness in my hands, feet, face. Extreme abdominal, back, and head pain. Rash and blood clots. A nasty cough. Swollen lymph nodes. Unexplained weight loss. Confusion. Blurred vision. Fatigue. Short of breath. All in a period of about a month. That is the basic jist of it anyways. I don't know for sure that my kidneys were shut down. All I know is how I felt -akin to renal failure. Bad taste in mouth, frequent urination and so on.
I do not feel as alone in this world as I used to. Just having this haven of the mind, a place to express myself without total judgment, Is enough. The likeness of spirits calms me and keeps me moving forward spiritually.
Breathe deep, seek peace!
It's okay, Mel. Stay strong, have faith, believe. Like Jesus said, by your faith, it is done. You can heal yourself of this affliction, if you have faith. But what exactly are you feeling anyways? How do you know your kidneys are shut down? And it's okay, everybody needs to share themselves sometimes, and people here should be willing to listen, and it's striking how people here, who talk so much of love and light and helping others, have ignored this blog.
So you're developing your spiritual side eh? That's good, and it will take your mind off of your ailments. You're working on seeing auras? That's good too, I've seen my aura a few times in the mirror, guess what color it was? Red lol With some blue and violet.
I send my energy to you right now, I hope you feel better soon, Mel. Take care, and God bless you :)