Just rambling on...who I am.

Peace to all. As a new member I would like to express myself in a way that only I can make sense of it. In the short time I have become a member I have a gut feeling (trying to pay attention to those gut feelings) that all of you are friends that I just haven't met and I see so much in common. I cant even talk to my wife like this and my kids just nod their head and smile because I'm their dad. They probably think I should be committed. ha ha.

In the process of moving into a higher vibration, a person needs to focus your energy correct? A tool to help you do this is meditation correct? If this is so, then I want to learn how to meditate and focus. Understanding myself somewhat, I tend to let my mind wander and not focus. Little things will distract me, like a dog barking or a fly in the room and ideas that flow in and out constantly which distracts me from focusing. A also analyze everything, over analyze for that matter and end up moving away from the real issue. Trusting is another hard one. I say I trust and do the motions of trust but deep inside I guess I don't because I question everything, (oh us humans with little faith) and that's another problem. So I ask, how does a person change all that. I know it's like my wife says.. I'm looking for the magic bullet. I am looking for the trigger. I believe that something will trigger my ability to change this and then "wallah" everything will be perfect. On the outside I believe in everything is possible, that the power of my thoughts create my reality, that I am god, that I am hear on a mission, you name it, I believe it. Very gullible I suppose. But inside raises doubt and questions. Without the dark we would not know what is light. So I have lived in the dark most my life and it's now time to come into the light.

When I was about 8 years old I was climbing a mountain side to reach a waterfall and the path was getting very narrow to the point it was life threatening and at that moment a voice came into my head clear as day and said, "Rick, go back, Rick go back" so I listened and went back. Probably save my life. A year later I was in water up to my nose and ready to drown when that voice returned and said " you know how a dog swims don't you?" I answered and said, " ya it paddles with its paws" The voice says " well, do it and while your at it kick your feet at the same time" So I did and that is how I learned to swim and saved my life again because I listened. As I got older I stopped hearing that voice and when I do I don't listen. I want it back.

I have had experiences in my life that I cannot explain. One day when I was around 27 I had an encounter with spirit. The energy was so powerful and that voice came back to say "stop smoking" ( I was smoking 2 packs a day then) and I stopped that day. The tears flowed like a river for hours like all my guilt was being released and now I cry so easily.Just thinking about spirit gives me goosebumps. I floated above my body and went through a wall, well at least I believed I did but without proof who would believe me or myself for that matter. I had a moment in my life where I was visited by an entity (spirit) only in my head but I was given insight on many things most of which I have forgotten. I was told of my future wife and met her spirit in a dream and the feeling was of pure love and this was like 2 or 3 years before I met her. I saw a vision of myself with a pot belly before I got one and thought I was the first man to be pregnant. I played with an energy ball like it was a toy. I had no idea what was really taking place during this time. I felt spirit with me for almost 2 years until around 1977. I was able to changed my vibration to the level of being able to cross the Vail. I remember the vibration going through my body each time, like I was dematerialized, but don't know how I did it. Problem was I forgot almost everything shortly after it happened. Like it was only a dream but it felt so real. So 20 years later I began to read about UFOs and books like Chariot of the God by Eric Van Danakin. One day I was given a book based on UFOs and abductions which I was fascinated by and in the book I was given leads to other books and like the domino affect it just kept going. Seek and thee shall find theory. My research has taken me to channeling. My favorites are Lee Carol and Kryon, Daryl Anka and Bashar. Also George Kavassalis, and Jane Roberts and Seth (Seth Material and Seth Speaks) and many more. It;s been an exciting journey and now it;s time for me to move into spirituality and learn who I am.
I now live on Vancouver Island on a 5 acre property surrounded by nature. Wild rabbits hop around like they own the place, the deer come and eat from the plum trees while I sit 10 feet away watching, and the eagles are plentiful. It's so peaceful. I have no plan to move even if there is a fault line just of the west coast.

In general I feel that I am a good person. I would never harm anyone, I feel pain when I see other people hurting especially the injustice in the world like police brutality etc. I cry at funerals weddings and listening to new talent performing like child singers. ( they are reincarnated bringing their past life talent with them) I suppose I am a sensitive person however I can be insensitive to peoples needs. Perhaps I wont offer to clean the house or do the laundry or rake the leaves or I take the biggest portion of a meal.
But I don't want to kill that ant or spider crawling around the house. I will catch it and put it out if i can. So for me I am very confused as to "who am I" Why am I here and where am I going. I can understand what happens when we die and that I have reincarnated probably many times over but yet I'm terrified of the death process especially if it involves pain. 2012 is exciting as hell but also as scarry as hell, whatever I want it to be.
So for now I welcome any comments, advise and help on my being and oneness.
I use the term god with small letters because I look at that as if I am part of God so then I am also god. I prefer not to use the term God but Prime Creator or just Creator. I picked that up from the Pleiadians and I like it.
Abundance to all. (Abundance; to do what you need to do when you need to do it. Bashar)

Rick

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Comments

  • Thanks Yelena, I shall take your advice and I agree that sound /music is very powerful. With certain music I can drift off somewhere else and other music brings back memories while other sounds are just touching. Thanks for the link also.

  • Hello there.

    My advice:  stop feeling guilt.  If something is bad, you wouldn't be doing it.  So just let it be.  Just do.  If you keep feeling it, think about it.  Disturb yourself.  Get fearful, and then think about it.  Very simple, but also very hard.  Confront something that is bad, and it goes away.

    Ok... well, hope you've found it good here.

  • Hi Rick, thank you for sharing the story. My domino effect brought me to US all the way from Russia, just like in your case one thing lead to another. One book to another one and the door got open to the world of wonders.This world is so subbttle and invisable that there are a lot of people that do not see or feel it. And it is very difficult to explain it to others that do not have a feel for it. I belive only time can do it. There is a time wonderfull, very powerfull energies coming to Earth and we all are co-creators of our reallity. The best tool to create is meditation. It does help to switch your attention from the left brain to the right one. The right brain hemisfere is where the mirracles happens. May be listening to the relacthing music will help the switch. I listen to Tom  Kenyon meditation music. This is wonderfull peaces that help you to let go and relax and vision a beutiful world of colors. That how is works with me. Music is very powerfull tool expecially for the begginers. And let you creativity go wild with colors,seeing beautiful places and feeling joy, love and gratitude.   

    tomkenyon.com

  • On my cabin page there is instructions on how to contact aliens . Let the kids catch you doing that
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