Listening And Trusting

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There is a voice inside me that tells me that I was put here for great things.  There is a voice inside my head that sings a different tune.  Afraid to make a mistake, I USUALLY listen to my head.  Today, I am listening to my heart.  I would like to share two Butter-Lie Mind Journal Reports (something I started very recently).  Thank you.

Original work is my own thus no copyright requests needed.

The Butter-Lie Report Journal

Date:            15.02.2015

Article #:      02 – Published 15.02.2014

Author:        Butter-Lie

IT’S TIME TO STOP HIDING…SO COME OUT AND PLAY!

I woke up this morning and looked around me and found that I was unhappy with many things.  When the eyes see these things…believe me the mind sees these things too and begins to tick.  It starts building and generating the reality in which one can play out all the experiences of unhappiness and discontentment.  And in fact anything that one chooses.  The notion of free will through the act of choice in response to or in reaction to experiences are the keys which unlock the doors to destiny and the future.

The keys, i.e. the ways we choose to respond to or react to things:

THOSE keys give shape to the things which we see around us. 

THOSE keys do not need copies as each door is unique and each door can only be walked through once.

But we have been blessed with an abundance of keys and doors through which we can enter. 

As I began to slowly look at the things around me I realised the importance of the way in which the things that surround you further influence your state of being.  I then asked myself: “How much of what surrounds me is because of me?  How much of it is my design?”  The answer was a resounding EVERYTHING!  Some might say, “But, had it not been due to the fact that…..” and to that I would respond:

 

HOLD ON!  WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS?

THE ANSWER IS: ONLY YOU

I then started extending the scenario to the bigger things in my life that I am unhappy about.  For the past couple of months I have been working on issues such as fear, past hurt and trust.  I think that many individuals can identify with the fact that fear, past hurts and an inability to trust are some of the major reasons that one’s dreams and future success remain stagnant and do not materialise.

I then thought to myself, “BUT I am achieving and have attained success, do not shy away from challenges and can successfully overcome them.  I do the hard work, I try and deal with the emotions, am doing the Honours Degree, embark on any initiative I find interesting…..”

However, in my understanding of reality, the above describes the little things of which my dreams comprise and does not begin to illustrate how high I can and want to fly.  For there is in fact NO END to one’s dreams and what one can achieve.  So then, when I look around I ask myself the question again, “Why have I not achieved all I so passionately dream and care about?”

I was reminded of an incident that took place not too long ago.  The quest, the URGENT desire to meet my biological father and hear the words,” I am sorry for the deep hurt that not being there caused you.  But, I do love you…” serve me much like an executioner’s blade to a criminal on death row. 

Although very recently I plucked up the courage to give him a call, Mr EH again put the phone down in my ear when I asked whether we could meet.  Looking around me this morning and naming the things that I am unhappy about brought a moment of elucidation.  The things that hold us back from achieving things on a greater level often become blind to our sight as we assimilate them into the very core of our beliefs.  We accept them as truths, unwilling to step outside, over, around and under them to move forward.  So, if I was to take the blinkers off and look around in an attempt to analyse why I have not made the choices that would result in greater fulfilment in my life, I would need to stop hiding and really look for them.

In order to do so, I had to become aware of the power of unconscious thought and the forces which drive the decisions and choices that we make in life and how that directly contributes to what manifests in reality.

For me, the above three issues have limited my experience of true happiness and achievement.  FEAR masks itself in a myriad of ways.  The lack of acknowledgement from a parent or the belief that one is an ‘accident’ contributes at core level to self-perception and the distorted search of meaning and purpose in life.  Above that, it triggers a series of unconscious thought variables and false beliefs in the individual.  These thoughts and beliefs find a comfortable home in the unconscious mind, often going undetected by the individual.  When one steps into the role of OBSERVER one can then begin the work of unlearning all the behaviours and thoughts that prevent you from being all that you can be.

A HARD LOOK AT THE SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY

If you tell yourself something for long enough or often enough you create your experience from that place of the belief.  I only know this as truth, as I am an expert at reinforcing negative self-fulfilling prophecies in my own life which happily then manifest in my reality. 

If one could just ponder this idea for a moment:

We have at our disposal an infinite realm of choices from which to build a reality.

In many ways what we build as realities is a result of what we think and feel.  I grew up thinking and feeling that I was a mistake, and so this cleverly crafted reality started taking shape.  A reality in which the doors to self-love, worthiness, trust in others, confidence, self-esteem, acceptance of praise, deservedness and love were slowly padlocked shut.  Seemingly it is crafted in such a manner that the individual is also unaware that they themselves are in possession of the keys which are able to unlock these doors and that the hell reality that surrounds them are created by themselves. 

Of course, one would need to reach a level of perception, personal readiness and acceptance of both the good and the bad contained within the self to kick start a new reality into gear.

So EH’s inability to acknowledge me as his daughter two weeks ago has given me a kick start to creating a new reality.  What I had created up to this point and especially these past two weeks is a reality based on false self-fulfilling prophecies.

My physical reality had become a manifestation of fear and lies:  a fear of success, a belief that I do not deserve the best in life, an over-inflated ego, the inability to trust anyone, self-sabotage of the highest degree.  Although levels of success in many instances is measured according to societal and global standards, someone ALSO FORGOT TO TELL HUMANITY that TRUE POTENTIAL is unlimited and that the true experience thereof takes shape when you realise this.

In the very same way I limit personal growth, humanity believes that change is not possible and such false self-fulfilling prophecies continue to keep the doors to freedom, peace, change and love for others under lock and key.

I asked myself today: “What is your true purpose in life?”  The answer I truly believe comes through the sharing of what I have learnt through personal experiences:

TO BECOME A SIGNIFICANT VOICE FOR CHANGE

TO CULTIVATE A MENTALITY THAT RESONATES

POSITIVITY AND LOVE RATHER THAN THE NEGATIVITY WE SEE AROUND US TODAY.

TO SPREAD THE MESSAGE THAT:

WE CAN CHANGE

WE MUST CHANGE

IT STARTS WITH YOU

IT STARTS WITH ME

PLEASE SEE

ENVISION

A DIFFERENT REALITY.

To step into ones world and into ones day with the belief that the possibilities are endless and knowing that each choice one makes does indeed have a ripple effect on every existing organism on the planet - one may be allowed to infer just how important you and I as individuals are as well as the pivotal role our choices and perceptions play in relation to the world at large and its future.

So I will continue to stumble and fall, only this time with the awareness that for the first time I am actually learning how to fly.

PLEASE SHARE IF YOU CARE!!!!

The Butter-Lie Report Journal

Date:            07.02.2015

Article #:      01 – Published 07.02.2014

Author:        Butter-Lie

REALITY: WHY WE NEED IT

I have had the great privilege of gathering a vast amount of spiritual, philosophical, linguistic and esoterically based knowledge through actively pursuing a search to the question: ‘Why Am I Here?’  To a lesser degree, I have touched on areas of science, biology and quantum physics.

It is through a recent experience that I realised that self-consciousness acts as a binary opposition in itself.

As a means of departure, let me begin here. 

There are many schools of thought which teach that:

  • we should surrender and put our faith in a higher power and in order to do so one has to relinquish the desires of the self.

  • in order to receive divine or spiritual messages one should still one’s mind and go within

  • emotional attachment is a negative stimulus

  • in order to overcome fear one has to face the fear

The binary opposition to self-consciousness has become hidden in plain sight it seems.  If one looks at the above as the premise to my personal experience the binary opposition for what life is asking from me would read something like the below:

  • I am a being that has taken on a human form, but in order to gain any understanding or to qualify for an upgrgrade or eternal life I have to view and surrender myself to something that is everything I am not in terms of being a physical being attached to a reality brought into existence through the senses and the mind.

  • in order to experience the divine / god entity I need to access the quietness of mind, but this too requires a level of thought, an experience of self-consciousness (self-awareness)

  • we are created as emotional beings and any attachment to experience is largely an emotional attachment

  •  in the space where fear exists we have to counter-balance the fear by accessing the same part of the mind where the fear exists and tell it not to exist

To anyone who has not come across the term binary opposition, it can be simply defined as the ‘paired opposite to something’.  For example: day vs night, hot vs cold, happiness vs sadness etc.

For the average human being I would say that non-truth seekers get by on sheer bliss to ignorance and for the truth seekers I can understand how this can become an absolute nightmare.

Our realities are coded in order to associate reactions, emotions, ideas through the things that we have experienced and what we have been taught.  One is also taught that the experience is subjective in nature, a personal experience.  I note here another complication as we are simultaneously taught that in order to tap into the source, the individual has to assimilate and become ONE (an antithesis) of what we are taught.

Thus YOUR reality is deemed important, but have you ever noticed the OUR with the YOUR?

As humans we are also taught that our experiences are individual in nature, but sacred texts elucidating messages from the Divine always motivate to oneness / a connection to one source / an omnipresent god presence.

There appears to be many parallels to what one should be achieving and the tools that one has blessed with in order to attain these achievements.  Becoming the ‘master’ could be as SIMPLE as the idea purported in the movie ‘The Matrix’.  Seeing NEO on his quest to become the ONE.

So, we have been taught that our waking life is real and that the binary opposite, sleep is merely where we ‘find rest’, yet many explain their waking life as realities of suffering, challenges, pain, sorrow and despair.

I would like to document an experience of ‘awakeness’ through my binary opposite experience of sleep.

I will call this experience: SLEEP vs AWAKE

SLEEP vs AWAKE – The dReAm

Last night I fell asleep whilst in texting conversation with a friend and woke up many hours later from one of the best sleeps in my life experience so far.  I think that I may have actually woken with a smile on my dial.  I picked up my phone and read over the last couple of lines that my friend and I had exchanged with each other.  Whilst doing so I experienced the bliss feeling starting to fade.  Not because of what I was reading, but rather because my mind had started to kick into gear.  My reality was suddenly bombarded with sight images, sounds, feelings and memories of what I had experienced the past week.  The more ‘time’ that passed, the more detached I became from the bliss experience of waking with the smile on my dial.  Indeed that too was becoming a distant memory both on the inside and on the outside.

Somehow…I realized that it is in this waking life where all the ‘trouble’ starts.  My friend and I were discussing the nature of the soul and its relation and purpose to this tangible existence.  In many cases one would start the response by saying something like, ‘Well I BELIEVE’, but we do not see the LIE imbedded in BELIEVE.

The only certainty that I can assure that there is no certainty.  For me, the inner burning inferno to master and understand the self – myself was woken to a nightmare of tangible reality, far removed from the bliss!  This concept has been documented in literature over the years.  Whilst I am no expert on the subject, I am an expert at introspection and the behavior driving the truth seeker.

As my thoughts and senses began to dominate my experience after waking from blissful sleep, I had the following thought-feeling:  Oh I wish I could go back to sleep as that is where I experienced the smile on my dial. I am in no way knocking this waking experience as it is the playground on which we can gather the information that we need.  I took it a bit further and made the realisation that everything I had learnt about existentialism, ontology, consciousness, communication, the notion of reality, purpose, the soul, life experience made complete sense when I woke up with that smile on my dial.  I did not really have to do anything to experience the smile on my dial.  It just happened to be there as I woke up after sleeping.

I am nowhere near understanding the true nature and purpose of our experience, but I do believe that after 40 years I have experienced a tine glimpse.

At the end of the day:

  • If you are a truth seeker; keep seeking…meaning is a journey

  • that smile on your dial is where the magic begins

  • aim to meet the master: it is reflected in everything

  • dissolve that which does not bring a positive vibration into your EXPERIENCE of reality

 

 

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Comments

  • Lumie, THANK YOU!  I think that you are right in that the girl-child is so afraid to relinquish her role as 'protector'. I don't think that she (and adult me) understands that it is simply a transformation, she will be safe and has a voice and will always be a part of me. She does however know that she must transform in order to reap the rewards.  Do you know that for a couple of seconds I was trying to find an alternative word for 'rewards'?  It took of a bit of courage to finally choose it and tell myself that, "It is OK to use the word reward because I do deserve it"... And YES, I am extremely blessed to have the people in my life that I do. We are SO close to each other and I hope that we meet one day soon.  I believe the same about my father and I will try to let my heart shine more often and learn to hear it.  Have a great week and much love! xxx

  • Hello Lumie...thank you and I appreciate it!  I would also like to share a link with you!  The link serves as an invitation to create your own video should you want to!

    http://vote.myworld2015.org/leeanne.davids.37

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