This blog is a follow on from my previous blog, inner fire: http://lightworkers.org/blog/189109/inner-fire
First I will outline some events I've been going through since last year and at the end I will present some wisdom I've acquired.
Around September on 2012 I began to grow extremely tired of the females that I'd end up meeting and engaging with.
They would always turn out to be immature, overly emotional and quite simply not on my level... often wasting my time and energies.
So I began to desire for a female who was actually intelligent and had a grasp of logic and was a lot more mature with a bit more emotional depth than a piece of toast, unlike the other girls.
So one night during my nightly 'talks to the universe', I told the universe the type of girl I want to meet and added that I'd like her to live local instead of being far away like some of the past females.
A few days passed and it was a Wednesday which is when I had work. It was also a full moon that night. I didn't particularly like my job so my face was often displaying my irritation and I wouldn't really pay much attention to other things.
So I'm working on the till that night then I noticed a girl and her mother join my queue. They were both giggling and I got the impression they were talking about me.
Her mother kept smiling at me when I glanced over which I thought was strange because I've never seen them before and they clearly didn't know me.
So it came time to serve them and they were both overly friendly, forcing me to break my 'angry poker face' and smile back. As they left, they both said bye in a way that suggested they were indeed talking about me.
A few days pass again and this time the girl's mother comes into the shop alone. She looks all happy to see me, smiling and stuff like she wants to tell me something.
So I serve her at my till and luckily there are no more customers at my till so I can properly engage with this lady.
She then asks me if I remember her daughter from a few days ago and I tell her that I remember. Now she says that her daughter is quite interested in me and likes me. I am quite surprised at this point because it isn't often a girl's mother plays the wingman.
So I go along with it and this lady asks me how should she handle this situation and I tell her she can give me her daughter's number if she wants.
She smiles and says okay she will come back and write it on some paper. So later that night she comes back with the number, also telling me it was her daughter's birthday the day before and that she'd be happy if I gave her a call.
So I call the girl and we have a phone conversation for 4 hours which is extremely rare for me because I hate phone calls.
Either way it seemed the vibe was good, we shared similar interests, and she had all the qualities that I expressed to the universe that night, and craziest of all she lived literally 30 seconds around the corner from me but I had never ever seen her.
So at this point I realise this is manifestation at its best.
To cut a long story short: I take her on a date, we get along well, continue seeing each other, feelings develop and we engage in a relationship.
Now at this point she tells me that she's got a lot of 'inner work' to do and tells me some of her personal issues and I note that I can help her with them.
Basically all of my qualities were perfect to help her overcome her inconsistencies and burdens. Here is where the problem arises as I mentioned in the last blog: my compassion and patience.
That part of my nature that adapts to people so much that it causes me to stop being my true self in order to compensate for their shortcomings, all within the intent to help them grow.
That was the issue however, because what she needed was my intense fiery self more than my compassion and patience.
The latter qualities actually prolonged her inconsistencies and gave them more ground to be expressed and dominate her character, which began to cause friction. And because I was being too patient and 'babying her', it made me ignore her argumentative bouts.
Now she told me about these things her self and I accepted it because I saw her inner beauty beyond the rough exterior, and she began to feel inadequate to me because I didn't react over small things and I was very easygoing.
Whereas she was very volatile and had a lot of self conflict. It got to the point where she told me I deserve better than her, that she will only hold me back, and she feels like a horrible person because she feels she cannot return the huge amount of love I was giving to her even with her abrasiveness.
My error was to be too compassionate once again and play the 'it's all okay' routine and not react on a level that will destroy these negative aspects of her self.
Now for the wisdom:
Animal Symbols
In life and in relationships we will often symbolise various animals. If we identify our animal symbols in a relationship it can help people serve each other and better understand their position in each-other's lives.
Now in the relationship I've described the role I played was The Eagle and she was The Rabbit (coincidently she purchased a rabbit while we were together).
Why was I the eagle?
The Eagle flies high above the world, it evades the tribulations of the world by existing outside of the drama. Being a spiritual person this describes that aspect perfectly. Now in context to her being The Rabbit - the eagle can see the rabbit whereas the rabbit cannot see the eagle.
The eagle understands the rabbit's patterns in order to successfully hunt and capture the rabbit. All the rabbit can do is run and hide in it's burrow. Before it does that the eagle must swoop down and devastate the nimble rabbit.
Now, for her to be the rabbit it signifies her inability to reach the sky. She is grounded by her inconsistencies and thus cannot exist in the space I occupy.
That alone creates the conflict where she feels she cannot rise to my level, but the eagle can walk the earth, hence her feeling she is holding me back since I'm not using my wings when I'm on the ground with her.
The issue of the relationship and my attitude towards it is shown when you consider the interaction of the eagle and rabbit. In my case, I missed the initial swoop causing the rabbit to successfully escape into the burrow.
Now instead of pulling back to the sky, the eagle decides to wait at the hole of the burrow for the rabbit to come out - which it won't.
What needed to happen is for me, the eagle to catch the rabbit and take control of it. To overpower the rabbit and lift it into the air and thus allow it to accept it's fate. By the eagle waiting at the burrow, it means the rabbit is in control and the eagle is forced to idle over the rabbit.
The rabbit is also scared to leave the hole due to the eagle's intimidating presence.
In essence I played (too much compassion) by the rules of her fears (running and hiding) and thus lost the chance to grab her (set her on a new path) and allow growth and evolution.
So with that story you can see the dynamics of animal symbols. I hope this information will serve useful for you lovers out there.
Peace.
Source:http://lightworkers.org/blog/189112/relationship-dynamics-animal-symbols
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