"Dependency, Blocked Energy, and Your Soul's Purpose"
21/11/11
"Dear Saint-Germain, a few weeks ago, a relationship I really wanted came to an end. I liked this man in ways that I thought I never could. But he wasn't interested in me. I'm getting through it by loving myself as I had wanted him to love me. This has happened to me so many times, that I must be sabotaging myself. Other areas are not working, too, especially money. At the moment, I'm feeling so stuck that I don't know what to do. Can you help me, please?"
My dear friend, I AM Saint-Germain. One of the main reasons that you are here in this lifetime is to express creativity, spontaneity and inspiration. This is an important part of your Soul’s purpose for you. However, if you depend too much on a partner who is going to support you and make you feel safe in the world, then you may not develop these qualities that your Soul is encouraging you to experience now.
You say that you’d like a loving relationship in your life and that you’re ready for a lasting commitment. But even so, your partners never seem to commit themselves, as you are prepared to do. One of the things that you may need to ask yourself now is, why is this happening?
I want to suggest the reason that you may feel blocked or stuck. This stuckness is about engaging your Soul’s purpose for you. It’s about learning to express your creative independence. This life calling is very strong in you. Yet, your self-doubt and wavering confidence hold you back, so that you unconsciously compensate for this through your relationships.
In your intimate relationships, situations can develop in which you enter into a kind of dependency with your partner. By dependency, I mean that it can feel very difficult to live with that person, but it can also feel equally difficult to live without him. I know that you have a great sense of loyalty, duty and loving commitment there. But there can also be an underlying fear that without the relationship, you will not be safe or secure enough to make it on your own in the world.
What is happening in your relationships is this:
You may be attracting partners into your life that seem to embody the creativity and independence that you’re here to develop for yourself. You may be doing this unconsciously because you’re afraid that you won’t be able to develop these for yourself. You choose to experience these qualities through your partners, instead. This kind of relationship dynamic, in which a partner is sought who will compensate for your perceived weaknesses or fears, is far more common than you might think.
But as you already know, if you hold on too tightly to such a partner and depend upon him being there, then the creative independence that you admire so much in him (and that you need to develop for yourself), will cause him to break away from you. This is why it’s so important for you to work on these qualities in yourself, rather than to look for them in someone else.
Let me repeat. You are here to establish a sufficient degree of independence, personal freedom, and creative initiative so that you might live your life in service to a Higher Purpose. To do this, you need to develop enough self-confidence to feel that this is possible for you.
However, if you’re feeling insecure about yourself and start looking to someone else to support you, then your Soul will bring you lessons about independence through your partners, instead. In your case, you will be attracted to partners who project a self-confident energy. But who will probably demand their freedom from you sooner or later, because your Soul wants you to develop these qualities for yourself.
Alternatively, you might find yourself getting involved with partners who are ambivalent about your relationship, despite your seriousness about it. If this happens, then your Soul is providing you with an opportunity to examine the meaning of independence and dependence in your life, and then make a decision about it.
Understanding and Transformation.
I’d like to acknowledge that there is a major transformation taking place in your life right now. Although it feels that things are stuck, especially with respect to having a loving, committed partner in your life, this is not really the case. Instead, you are releasing an old way of being in relationships. And because it is no longer working for you, you feel stuck or blocked.
What is really happening is a release. You are releasing an old way of doing relationships that keeps you from expressing the important qualities you’re here to manifest in this lifetime. Qualities that I’ve already pointed out to you. There’s no need for you to feel badly about this, or to judge yourself harshly for it, because you’re not doing anything wrong. But it is important that you understand the nature of your situation, so that you can deal with it effectively from a position of greater awareness.
Let me explain your situation. When you’re operating within your old relationship pattern, then it's difficult for you to find lasting commitment or contentment with partners because of the intense emotional energy that’s involved. You’ve invested a great deal of emotional energy in the expectation that you will share yourself completely with a man… that you will share your hopes and dreams, and all that you are – body, mind and Soul.
But when this kind of expectation and emotional intensity about sharing your life is also linked to your fears about being able to take care of yourself, then it’s easy for you to lose your way. It’s easy for you to feel that both your happiness and your fulfillment, as well as your survival and well-being, depend upon having a partner. And this is where you fall into the trap of dependency.
With dependency, your strong desire to have a committed relationship – plus your need to feel safe and secure in the world, begins to take over. You become worried about having or maintaining a relationship, and as a consequence, less able to enjoy one. The intensity of your emotions, plus the high expectations that you’ve placed upon the outcome, can feel scary and out-of-control to you, and also disturbing to your partner, too.
If you’re already involved, then it’s likely that an independent-minded partner will react to this and consider ending the relationship. But even if you’re not involved with someone, this kind of dependency will pre-dispose you to partners who are not committed, or who may try to exploit your loyalty and neediness.
What Can Be Done?
Please know that you are not here in this world to be alone. Having a life partner is well within your reach. But first, it’s important for you to work through your fears about supporting yourself, as well as deal with any insecurities that you have about developing your potentials and using your abilities. This is the energy of your life path for the moment, and it’s available for you to work with any time.
You're also encouraged to release the emotional intensity that you’ve experienced recently, as well as let go of your expectations about having a lasting relationship, at least for awhile. Find a way, instead, to move toward greater personal peace. This is an important step for you now.
When you’re able to establish peace in your life, then you will be able to simply let yourself BE.
And when you can let yourself BE, then you will have laid an important foundation for experiencing greater independence, as well as the confidence, creative expression, and self-reliance that you’re here to develop in this lifetime.
Thank you, dear friend, for allowing me to be with you today. It’s a joy and pleasure to serve you. Indeed, I AM Saint-Germain. Http://joyandclarity.blogspot.com/2011/11/dependency-blocked-energy-and-soul.htm
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