Is it wise to teach karezza (gentle lovemaking, which emphasizes relaxation rather than performance) without also teaching about the need to work on our egos?" asked someone.
Yes karezza or making love in a way that heals the emotional alienation between mates is one of the most powerful ways to quiet the ego - or multiple egos as some traditions hold. With this approach, we do not battle our egos. Instead we gradually hear Spirit more clearly than ego. Some spiritual treatises insist that the path of sacred union can even lead to a qualitative shift and spiritual transcendence.
For those not familiar with the "ego-Spirit" model, the ego is the defensive, frightened part of us, which believes it is separate from the Divine. It desperately seeks to protect and aggrandize itself, and we regularly accumulate a lot of bad karma endeavoring to meet its objectives. At base, it is nothing more than a fearful projection outward of a sense of lack.
As Lao Tzu said over two thousand years ago, "The cords of passion and desire weave a binding net around you….Trapped, you cannot experience liberation."[3] In short, impulsive sexual behavior fuels the ego, keeps us fearful of closer union, and anchors our perception to the material plane.
A few of us find some genuine comfort in solo spiritual practices, but most of us suffer from an empty hole inside, whether we opt for passionate sex or celibacy. We try to fill that feeling of emptiness with material things, attention from others, or soothing substances that ultimately increase our isolation.
To find holiness and genuine love is a relation you need to remember and find the oneness and holiness in the other.
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