Spiritual Blogs

The reason I'm here right now is not because I believe in "The Awakening Movement".  Nor do I, Honestly, believe in the GFL or a hollow earth, or many of the ideas that I have a very hard time 'understanding' or even attempting to work into my reality maps at the moment.

However, this site does resonate very greatly with me, and I don't know why.  So I've decided to stop fighting it, and just start talking.

So, as my first blog post, I guess I should do a brief introduction of myself.

I'm 29 years old.  I have a wife and three children.  I consider myself to be wise and smart, but I lack a lot of common sense sometimes.  And not at all like my wife.  I think it's because I see the world a lot differently than she does.  She is definally an opposite, as far as personality is concerned.  But that is a good thing, because I learn so much from her. But I love her more than I have ever loved anyone.  She is an amazing person, and she has made me a better person. However, she is very limited, spirtuality wise.  She is afraid of the unknown, and although she believes in God, she does not believe in any religion or belief structure. Which I have accepted from day one, and I let her live her own life.

I have been 'saved' as a Christian. Up untill I was about 22, i would have called myself Christian, albeit a 'hypocrital' one...  I did not follow everything that the Bible states that you should.  And I knew I didn't.  But I believed in God, and I believed in the good that it teaches.

At around 25, I started learning how to use Magick.  I became a Witch. (Pagan/Witchcraft).  I eventually was forced to stop my studies. The person I was learning from was my lover & daughter of my first child.  However, things didn't work out.  I could devote an entire blog on that subject, but I am no longer weighted down by the pain of my past.

However, It is important to state the following, for the point of this blog is an attempt to communicate my thoughts.

There was a time during my studies that still defines how I view the universe.... 

I remember being 'floored'.  I literally fell to the ground, and I felt one with Gaia, the Universe, whatever you want to call it. For a single moment, It felt as if everyone was flowing through me at once.

I have felt this sensation only one other time (and I do not remember it as vividly, but it was within the last year).

I have always felt that everyone is a giant web of life, and that we are all connected. These two occurances have only validated that feeling.

Right now, I don't know what to believe in. I think in alot of ways, we create our own reality.

Regardless of who is 'right and wrong', I feel that we all have the right to think and feel that way we choose to do so, as long as we do not cause harm to others in the process.

And right now....  I'm afraid that I'm in "Chapel Perilous", and I haven't quite figured out what the next step on my path is...